Post # 1
My SO had a dog he loved when he was a teenager (about 7 years ago) that his sister took all the way across the country when she moved to college. My SO has not seen this dog more than twice in the 4.5 year I have known him. I know he loves his dog and had good time buuuut….
…the dog is old and very sick. Unfortunately, he looks like he is coming to the end of this life. This is sad, and he is sad, however he wants to fly to CA to see the dog. The issue is that we have lots of plans and jobs and responsibilities. I am a shift worker and am about to start my weekends off this summer (mid july-mid aug), s we have things books like hotels and trips and made plans to see thigns and go to festivals. Now he wants to drop all this to see his dog suffer? I am confused on how to feel. I understand his wanting to visit his old dog, but it seems like a little over the top?
Is it too much from him to go out spur on the moment like this is mess up the few weekends we have off together/our plans? Or am I being overemotional and this is something he should have?
Post # 3
Personally, i would let him go. Because i have a dog, and i LOVE that dog, and if i knew he was going to pass away soon i would want to spent some time with him. This dog will be gone very soon, so he only has limited time.
Life cant be controlled. It is what it is.
Post # 4
This is a real tough one. I am super attached to my cat, and I’d do anything for him… so maybe I’m biased, but do you think that if you put your foot down, it could be possible that your bf could resent you for it? Like every time he thinks of the dog he might think how you stopped him. I don’t know. I don’t think you’re being selfish, but sometimes the mind isn’t logical, and when it comes to living creatures, I think that emotion can take over. I’d really let him decide. You don’t want him to have any regrets when it comes to something like this.
I do suggest you have a talk over this – money is an issue so it should be discussed. I wouldn’t try to talk him out of it, though. If he’s a considerate person, he will really appreciate this and make it up to you. I know he hasn’t seen the dog much, but it sounds like the dog is a part of his past and had a big impact in his life.
Post # 5
Personally, I think he should have the opportunity to say goodbye if that’s something he wants. I know I couldn’t sit on the sidelines knowing I never got to give my pet one last hug, told them I loved them etc.
Most times you can cancel reservations on hotels within 24 hours, so check out the policies, or perhaps he can schedule in a visit btwt your existing plans. Unfortunately these things happen and I wouldn’t want my SO suggesting I was inconvieniencing them because I wanted to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
Post # 6
I would let him go. I do not think it’s too much.
Post # 7
Let him do this, it’s obviously important to him and if his dog passes away and he doesn’t get to see him he might resent you for it for a long time. Not worth arguing about imo, just let him go see his dog. Good luck with your wedding things. Maybe he can help with some of the wedding things over the phone from there, like booking the hotel etc?
Post # 8
@canarydiamond: it is a hard call. He is even on the fence and knows that he is letting his emotions get the best of him a little. To me, its like, why would you even want to go and see your dog suffer like that? Its almost sick. He never flew out to see the dog when he was well (even though he missed him) and now he is making an effort to see him when the dog is sick and blind? I would rather remember my dog as he was. But this may be a personal opinion and I could understand how people would think differently. Ive had 3 animals in my life die and I know it is sad, but something seems just to extreme too fly all the way out there for a dog. This wouldnt be as big of an issue if I didnt only have 4 weekends off this summer, but since we have so little time together things get complicated.
Post # 9
I would let him go too. I know you have plans for your weekends but it probably won’t take more than 1 weekend so you’ll only be giving up one. And, he may not be good company if he’s just sad that he wanted to go see his dog instead of whatever activity you’re doing.
Post # 10
Coming from someone who’s had animals all her life and is (was) deeply attached to them, I’d say let him go. It might be difficult to understand if you’ve never had animals in your life, but the animals I had as a kid/teen were pretty much like brothers and sisters to me. And now that I live with FI and we have a cat, he’s literally our baby. I would definitely fly somewhere to give one last hug to my childhood dog and be there in the last moments of his life, if he was still alive today.
I think you should talk to him about it, explain how you feel but ultimately, if he chooses to go, respect his decision. You have a lifetime together to go on trips, etc. whereas it may be the last chance he has to see his old dog.
Why don’t you take the opportunity to travel with him to CA and be there for him /see his family? Could this be a possibility? You could therefore enjoy a trip together and he gets to say his goodbyes…
Post # 11
I would let him go.
I was on vacation one summer in Thailand a few years ago. I said goodbye to the family dog as well as the family cat. The dog was very old and sickly and I prepared myself that she would probably pass on while I was gone.
During my vacation I called my mom via Skype. She told me that the cat had gotten very sick very quickly and had to be put down. I thought she was joking. I was devastated. My best friend was with me and she had never seen me cry before. The dog was still alive when I got back, but I’ve always regretted not being there for my childhood cat.
So as a pet lover, I would be supportive. Losing a pet sucks.
Post # 12
@awolfpaw: Would you fly out to see a family member who was dying? Or would you not go simply because you hadn’t bothered to see him when he was well?
To your husband, it seems like this dog is as much his family as any human in it. Trying to talk him out of going may make him resent you.
Post # 13
If you don’t encourage him to go he will resent you for not wanting/letting him go. Also, he won’t have fun doing any of your planned vacations because he will be wanting to see his dog.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Sorry but I think you are being overemotional towards your own feelings; it sounds like this is really important to your SO and this dog was a big part of his life, even if he hasn’t seen it a lot since you have known him. It is very easy for an animal to make a huge impact on you in a short span of time and stay with you. Look at it this way — would you feel the same way if this was an old friend (person) that was dying and he wanted to see him and say good bye?
Post # 15
Let him go. I don’t understand why changing plans for one weekend is such an issue. Go with him if you are worried about spending the weekend apart. It sounds like he really loves the dog and I think it’s his right to go say goodbye if he wants to.
Post # 16
I would leave this 100% up to him – don’t say “to go” or “don’t go,” let him make the decision on his own.
Personally, it meant alot to me to visit my family dog when he got sick – I am the type of person who wants closure and although it was heartbreaking to see him not being his normal happy self, it gave me the closure I needed to say goodbye. So personally, I think every individual should be able to make the decision to say goodbye or not to, on their own.