(Closed) Is this unreasonable? Can we do this?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think there is any polite way to invite the cousins, but not their parents.  If they want to smirk and gossip, there is really nothing you can do about it.  If there is concern that they would do something really disruptive (interrupt the ceremony), hire security.  If it’s just pettiness, don’t worry about it.  Anybody could be bitchy about anything.  Honestly, you two will probably never even notice them.

Post # 4
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i don’t think this is reasonable.  it would have to be the whole family or none.

Post # 6
Member
5756 posts
Bee Keeper

I think this might a time when your FI discusses this plan with his immediate family members and use their advice about how it might go.

 I personally feel that people should invite just those they WANT to attend their wedding rather than those they feel obligated to invite………..but many people feel differently about it.

Post # 7
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Based on your further comment that they would not invite you to an event, I think you absolutely should invite them. By inviting them as a couple you are showing that you want to be part of the family. By leaving them out, you are only giving them grounds on which to leave you out. Take the high road and invite them and then if they leave you out, you have a legit gripe and they should understand when he does not attend without you.

Post # 8
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If his side of the family is going to help pay for the large amount of people that would come by inviting everyone related to them, then I think it would be fine to invite the naysayers and if they truly don’t agree with the relationship, they won’t come. Maybe the cousins can remind their parents that a wedding is for those who support the relationship, not for those who want to be rude and find fault with the couple for being “different”. Also, how many first cousins? If it is only a few then maybe it can be phrased as these are the people that he is really close to, and just because you’re family doesn’t mean you’re close and can get invited to the wedding. But if it’s ALL his cousins and not just a few, it may be suspicious and it may be like ok well you might as well invite all their parents at this point.

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