- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I am the first of my generation of cousins, etc to get married. I come from a huge mexican family (mostly on my dad's side) thats from a small town where everyone knows everyone. So with that said, my wedding is highly anticipated and everyone wants to be invited. I know this because everyone ( family, people from my dad's same town) is constantly mentioning my wedding to my parents and asking if they are invited (I hardly ever attend family parties but my parents sometimes do) My venue is medium sized and has a capacity of a little over 200 people. My guestlist has reached its max, with every single seat counted for. There is a garden patio area where I will be placing extra tables and chairs for people to be able to sit outside to mingle and get drinks (bar will be set up outside) but I don't want to use that area to seat guests. I have a feeling people will show up univited or some of my guests invite other people that I did not invite.
I added (still have not printed) a note on my RSVP cards somewhere along the lines of unfortunately due to limited seating will will not be able to accomodate any additional guests, which reads in spanish: "Lamentaqblemente, debido a espacio limitado no podemos acomedir personas adicionales" Is this rude?
If so, how do I word the RSVP card to let people understand that they can only bring their family (kids,wife) and not invite a bus load of people to my wedding?
I've had to tell verbally a few of my friends and cousins that they can not bring a plus one * ( just significant others I have never met)
Please help me! 
some people choose to do it this way
m ___________________
__ will attend ___ will not attend
we have reservered __ seats in your honor (then you fill in the # of people you're inviting, so they know you've only given them 1 seat or 4 seats or whatever)
for my sister's wedding, we were worried about this problem... she married into a large hispanic family, and we actually printed out everyones name on the rsvp like this
Aunt Sue and Uncle John
__will attend __will not attend
we only had 1 crasher, so I think it worked pretty well!!
ETA: I think if you wanted to add the line about not being able to accomidate everyone could be totally okay, if you know your family won't take offense by it.
@simplifiedbride: We did the first option listed here...just put the number of seats reserved for each invitation. We only had one person try to add someone, thankfully.
Small town wedding is difficult especially since in general there is a strong sense of community and family, then adding your cultural heritage it is very difficult to not feel like you are leaving people out or being rude by not letting "crashers" in.
In america most people know with wedding etiquette know that unless you specify a "plus" one then inviting outside of your addressed family is rude on their part.
It sounds tasteful to me! Good luck
Adding the number of seats reserved for each invite is a great idea! I was thinking of listing the persons invited but some have 3 kids and it might be to long...
I don't think it is rude at all, we have to cut the guest count somewhere right?
I do like the suggestion made bysimplifiedbride too. It paints the picture a little more clearly on just how many people are invited. We intend to do this as well.
Thank you ladies for the feedback and reassurance! I feel so relieved 
Yeah, I think's perfectly reasonable to specify how many seats and to add a note about the venue being at capacity already. You're showing more concern than I did when I started getting questions like that! The first person who asked me I just flat-out told she was isn't invited (she was my ex-girlfriend from college and my fiance and I agreed to no exes). She flipped out a little! I was surprised, because I didn't think she cared that much about it, but I apologized for being so blunt and we're okay now.
So this is what I came up with based on the feed back I recieved from you ladies:
the favour of a reply is requested
before september 10th, 2011
m_____________________________
We have reserved ___ seats in your honor
_______ accepts _______ regrets
*unfortunately, due to limited seating we can not accommodate any additional guest
what do you guys think.. I was thinking of handwriting the names in the blank so it can look more personalized. I am working on th spanish version
I feel you. I'm African and we do this. I did the whole __ seats have been reserved. _ of _ attending... and I filled the second __ with the number that would be able to attend. I STILL had crashers. AFTER I spread the word that it was a tight guestlist. Fortunately, some folks didn't show so all's well that ends well.
I like it, it's polite yet to the point with out any space for misunderstanding. I might just use that!
I did something similar to what some of the other ladies have suggested:
The favor of your reply is requested on or before August 1, 2011
We have reserved X Seats in your honor
M________________________________________
___of _X_ Accept(s) with pleasure
___ Declines with Regrets
*ETA- It's important to put the ___of____ Because, say you invite a family of 3 but only 2 can come, then they would put 2 of 3 Accept and 1 declines...... if not, it looks like no one or all are coming.
@MzSoon2b: No, the wording is not rude rather it is very appropriate.
Just for laughs...
Being Mexican myself what is rude is telling people they can't bring friends of the friends of the friends. You will be the talk of the town. "A no MsSoon2B no nos invito esa sangrona que no habia campo pero mira que grande boda tuvo"
That happens even in 15, bautizos, eventos especiales
Luck and no the wording is not rude
I think that the best option is as a lot of other bees posted above, either put how many seats are reserved, or if it's a big family, list exactly who's invited on the envelope - mom, dad, kids - by name. That should also help alleviate any confusion. If you write like, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smither & Family", that leaves the door wide open for interpretation of what 'and family' means. :-)
@beatriz: Lol Exactly! They already think I'm snotty.. hahaha
@Miss Marine: I really like that idea! I'm definitely going to do that :)
You ladies rock!
@MzSoon2b: Now the tricky part will be getting the guest to return the RSVP, my sister and I are the only ones that RSVP for any event and my familia is like "que es eso, I will just show up." I try to explain that they need the head count to see how many tables and chairs will be required they respond "pues me paro si no hay de otra" Family and Friends I tell you.
I guess its not custom for the 100% Mexicanos to RSVP we just are interested in the comida and baile
@beatriz: I've assisted a coordinator at weddings where guests just show up without rsvping - I'll be working the escort card table trying to help everyone get seated and someone will come up to me and I'll find that their name is not on the list at all. "Oh, I didn't tell anyone I was coming, but I'm the bride's aunt - I was totally invited." !!!???!!!
@melodicsighs1: Or we photocopy invitations since we know that at the gate they will be asking or we call the bride or groom and they come and get us.
I believe MsSoon2B wording is appropriate, I am going to follow up on my guest list keep telephone number and request it on the RSVP so that I can call 1 month before to remind them .
@melodicsighs1: oh I believe you! Thats how I picture a few of my father's family members doing it. They have no shame. It would be more embarrassing for me to tell them we have no space for them, than them coming to a wedding they were not invited to. I kinda want to give the wedding coordinator a list of people that are invited and turn those that aren't on the list away.
@beatriz: oh mylanta photo copying the invitations thats crazy but I believe it lol! how are you requesting the telephone number on the RSVP?
So here is the final draft of my RSVP:
The favor of a reply is requested on or
before September 2nd, 2011
We have reserved ___ seats in your honor*
M_________________________________________
___ of ____ accept(s) with pleasure
____ Declines with Regrets
*unfortunately, due to limited seating we can not accommodate any additional guests
oooh one thing that I forgot to add- as I'm getting my RSVPs back (the deadline is in 2 weeks) I'm seeing that people do not understand the M____________. They cross it out and write their first name, or use it for the beginning of their name Michelle I wish that I had put Name(s)____________________ instead.
@MzSoon2b: Soy mexicana so after the RSVP I am adding a line at the bottom that way I can call them to see if they have my Tias(aunts) or friends number.
Best number to reach you at ______________________________
Contact number _____________________________________
@MzSoon2b: Don't you wish you could just write
Y ni se les occura invitar mas personas ( Don't even think about inviting more guest)
Can you ladies show/tell me how to word that in Spanish? My Spanish is Chicano Spanish and I have my older family members like abuelita y Tia's that might find my wording incorrect. And my mom doesn't really know what an rsvp is either lol. Both my parents are very traditional mexicanos. Thanks!
@xicaB: I am not sure how correct my spanish RSVP cards are, I'm going to be showing them to my FMIL (who I trust knows the proper wording) but you can get a rough draft from this...
Favor de responder antes
de el dia dos de Septiembre 2011
tenemos reservado___ asientos en su honor*
S_______________________________________________
____ de ____ asistiremos ____ no asistiremos
*debido a espacio limitado no
podemos acomedir personas adicionales
@Miss Marine: I was thinking of writing in the names.. I actually like my hand writting and I think its more personalized..
@bRooklynRocks: I'm trying to spread the word about a tight guest too! People are trying to bypass me and put my parents on the spotlight and directly ask that they be invited.. The nerve of some people!
I printed my response cards today...because MOST people do not attend a wedding alone..I printed "we have reserved _____ of 2 seats for you." We will reach out to the people that WE KNOW will bring others. you MUST have escort cards...even if more do show up at least your guest that RSVP'd will have a seat.
@MzSoon2b: If you write in their names for them then you won't know who's coming... for example- if you invite Aunt Sandy, Uncle Greg and Cousin Max and put reserved 3 seats in your honor- but get back 2 of 3 attending then who's coming? Sandy and Greg? Greg and Max? Sandy and Max? I think you need to allow the guests to write their names so they can tell you who will attend. I just wrote the guests names on the outter envelope Mr and Mrs Greg Smith and on the inner envelope Uncle Greg, Aunt Sandy and Max that way its specific as to WHO is invited. Then I wrote a small number on the back of the RSVP in the event that they didn't write their name on the line but still sent back the RSVP I could cross reference with my list and see who I assigned what numbe to. I hope this helps :)
I also added the m________________________
below the we have reserved _____ of 2 seats for you. Miss Marine..good idea to add a # to the back.
@MzSoon2b: I would definately have someone at the door to the reception. Maybe you cna let people know the can come to the wedding if the want but you cannot allow anymore people at your reception.
Knowing my FI's family there will be someone who invites somebody who we dont know, you someones 3rd cousin will be staying with someone and bring them along. Our venue is checking names at the door, I told him he can turn them away if they didnt not repsond to the RSVP or if they are a gate crasher.
@MzSoon2b: Sounds good to me but I guess I should just take the time to explain to my mom what an RSVP is so she can hopefully proof read it. Although I think yours is just right but I'm no expert. Thanks again!
@beatriz:LOL I just talked to my mom about RSVP yesterday and she was like " no hacemos eso"(we don't do that). Not in a mean way lol, but more in like a confused way. She said that in Mexico, where she grew up, there is no such thing. I expected that but I'm sure she will still help me translate. I like your post about "Y ni se les occura invitar mas personas" I'm so close to adding that to the RSVP lol but I'm not ufortunately.
@xicaB: My extended family is like that, I am guilty of bringing along friends, but I ensure I hand them a gift. My husband thinks I am a gringa since I RSVP, but when we have our church wedding I am going to hunt down my invitees. It appears that our familias are very similar.
What type of music are you having? No me digas Waltz (no el vals)
@beatriz:No waltz lol. No sabemos todavia. I want a mariachi lol but I have no idea where to find one in the Bay Area. I hear they are expensive. What kind of music are you having? Are you going to do la vibora? And the garter thing? Is your FI Latino also? I'm actually crashing a wedding my sister is invited to next month. I know I'm horrible but I really want to see una boda Mexicana before I have mine so I can see what it supposed to happen lol. But I'm getting them a gift and not eating their food. It probably doen't make it better, nimodo the etiqutte police is gonna get me.
@Miss Marine: to tell you the truth I dont expect too many RSVP's back from my dads side. The RSVP cards for me are formal way of letting the invitee know how many people they can bring and that they can't bring their mothers friend's nieces, neighbors, comadres, etc..
@beatriz: My dad said the same thing! "No no no mi jente no sabe de esas chingaderas" lol I had a friend with the same upbringing than me that surprisingly got the majority of her RSVP's back. Her mexican side was so stressed about getting the RSVP's back that they would drive it over to her house to make sure she go it..
@xicaB: I wish I could add "Y ni se les occura invitar mas personas" too! lol
Lol my dad would totally say something like that! Good thing everyone is afraid of getting axed from the guest list (long story) they are just happy to share that day with us.
I can't believe ppl drove to hand deliver the RSVP, so funny I hope we get that lucky.
@MzSoon2b: Just wanted to add my two cents to the RSVP :) My husband and I thought that "acomedir" should be changed to "aceptar". Oh and the septiembre shouldn't be uppercase because they don't do that in Spanish.
Best of luck! Know that everyone will have something to say (don't they always!) but in the end, it's about the love you and your soon-to-be husband share! Enjoy your day!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| This Time Round | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| kahr | 1 |
