Post # 1
One of my friends is pregnant with her first child. I am so happy for her, but she is really stressed about a dilemma she is having. She was asked to be a BM in a wedding. She will be almost eight months pregnant at the wedding. She thinks she would feel uncomfortable being “fat and in front of everyone.” (Her words, not mine!) I don’t feel I can give the best advice, so I thought the hive would be full of wisdom. What would you do? Is she being unreasonable?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I don’t think she’s being unreasonable at all. 8 months is really far along, and she’s probably not going to be feeling wonderful, and probably won’t be able to be as happy and supportive for the couple as she would like! I think it’s perfectly fair for her to want to say no.
Post # 4
If she is truly uncomfortable then she should talk to the bride about it and ask if it would be ok if she stepped down from the bridal party. I’m sure the bride would be understanding, if a little disappointed – if she’s a good friend she will probably try to talk your friend out of it because there’s nothing wrong with a pregnant bridesmaid in fact I think it’s a nice reminder of families and love which is what weddings are all about! Between the two of them they should be able to figure something out. Tell her not to worry 🙂
Post # 5
Is this her first child? I think sometimes when people are early in their pregancny and even through out they become so focused on what they have going on internally they sometimes miss that are people have things going on too, I know I am certainly guilty of this (more so in my first pregnancy )
I think she may have difficulty getting the dress to feel right, but all in all if this person is important to her she should be there. If she decides she can’t do it she needs to tell the bride right away and be understanding if there are any hurt feelings.
Post # 6
i dnt think she is bein unreasonable.. alot of peopl dont want to be in the spotlight when they are pregnant, she should talk to the bride and step down
Post # 7
Oops, a few details: She will be 7.5 months pregnant. It is her sister’s wedding, but they are not super close, and some family dynamics make this more challenging. She is a super sweet person, and I don’t think she is being self-centered about this- she has some issues about being up in front of lots of people anyway, and she is starting to gain weight and feeling really uncomfortable about it. She will be at the wedding regardless, she just wants to “wear a big black tent and hide in the back.”
Post # 8
She’s not being unreasonable at all.
Pregnancy can be tough, and to be fair, what if she went ahead with the bm dress and everything, and went into labour the day before or of the wedding? Stranger things happen!
Better and easier to have her able to relax and enjoy the wedding as a guest – that way, she’s not inconveniencing anyone if she happens to feel like a lie down at bridal party photo time!
Post # 9
oohh, I don’t know if the details help. One one hand it is her sister, but if she is truely that uncomfortable she should say something. Hopefully if they aren’t that close then her sister won’t make a huge deal about it. I know mine would though.
Post # 10
I feel that being asked to be a BM is not an obligation. People have a right to say no for whatever reason; especially being so far along in pregnancy she will probably be quite uncomfortable being on her feet all day. That being said, I think pregnant women look beautiful and if she was able to find a dress she felt fabulous in she might have fun! If it were one of my BMs I would be more than happy to accommodate her in any way possible to have her be a part of my day. In a nutshell, it isn’t ‘wrong’ to say no for personal reasons and whatever makes her happiest is what she should do!