- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
They say that women often choose husbands who remind them of their fathers, whether they're concious of it or not. I used to think think my finace was not at all similar to my father, but then he'll do something that does remind me of my dad and I get a little freaked out. For example, every so often he'll use a gesture or a turn of phrase that my dad uses too.
I suppose it may be because the two get along really well, and the more they see of each other the more of my dad's habits rub off on my FI. I love that they're becoming friends but at the same time I don't want to feel like I'm marrying a younger version of dad by the time my wedding comes!
Anyone else feel this way? On a side note, is it possible for fiance/husband and dad to get along too well?
EDIT: Perhaps I should clarify - My dad was a wonderful father but not the greatest of husbands. He and my mother divorced when I was 7 but he remained a big part of my life. I think that might be what worries me when I think about how simlilar the two are becoming.
My "dad" is an abusive drug addict who hasn't had a job since 1993. No he's nothing like my father.
On another note he does get along with my step dad well (who is amazing btw) and I don't think they can get along too much. My family likes to mesh together with the inlaws so we all become very close so to me it isn't weird at all.
I guess there are some things.
The more obvious are:
Exactly the same height 5'11" 3/4. Neither of them ever quite made it to 6'.
They also both have dark hair and dark eyes.
They are both very smart and very successful as well as extremely level headed and rational.
The are both sailors (although my dad is a lapsed sailor) and are fairly preppy.
Guess they do have a lot in common!
My DH and Dad on the outside are nothing alike. DH is a business man, a metro-sexual, and a giant, while my Dad is an ex-military, kills things to eat them, plaid wearing kind of guy, who is average in size. However, in personality they are very similar. They come across as rough and touble guys, but both are quite sensitive, enjoy building and fixing things, and are liked by everyone. And they both love me more than anything in the world.
My dad and my FI are very similar. They're both very quiet and laid back. They get along well. That makes me happy because when we come over to visit I can go shopping with my mom and know that my FI is perfectly content to talk sports with my dad.
My father and my husband are so much alike it is scary. I don't think if my father could have ordered my future husband from a catalog, he'd have found someone more like him (or to his liking). I'm OK with that.
My sister and I joke that we married each other. Her husband is touchy feely, talkative like I am and my sister and DH are more alike. I don't think I married my dad at all.
@MissTillie:I never really thought my FI and my dad were anything alike until FI went on vacation with my family a couple Christmases ago. And then it dawned on me that FI and my dad were pretty much the same person. They're in the same professional field, play the same instrument, love the same music, and tell the same long winded stories. I love it, because these are the things that I love about my dad in my FI. I hate it, because these ar the things that I love about my dad in my FI. But I guess it makes sense because my dad really was the first man I ever loved in my life.
What's freaky is that yesterday FI commented that there are things that I do that remind him of his mother. Weird! Maybe we really do marry our parents...
Everyone always tells my father that he couldn't have a son more like him than my DH. It's scary but great at the same time. I should add that I do have a brother but he is nothing like my father.
But my father has always had anger issues (thankfully he has dealt with them professionally) and that is the one thing about my father that I would change. But that is the only way that DH is not like him. Even their upbringing were identical. And my dad was an amazing involved father who worked so hard to give us a great life so it's not sad bad marrying a guy like that :)
Mmm I feel the same way sometimes, my dad and FI get along really well. Is there any reason you wouldn't want your FI to be like your dad? If he was a good father to you and a good husband...then I'd think thats a positive thing, if not--then maybe that might be difficult.
My dad and FI have similar interests but there are a few differences in values too. My FI is more stubborn than my dad, and my dad is more religious than FI. However, I do notice a lot of similarities with FI and my grand father. Which is a little weird. But my grand father wasn't the best husband for the first five years of my grandparents marriage (insert worries here)
I don't think its possible for your father and your FI to get along too well though, I think thats great! Its better to get along rather than not at all.
i dont think my husband is anything like my dad but they get along strangely well - seriously they could sit and talk for hours and trade books all the time...its so great, but so strange too.
@Talishazwi: that is so funny! different but similar...my sister is just like my dad, and im just like my mom and i think thats why we get along so well - we compliment each other - just like they do.
If he was, I would not be marrying him. Yes I have a lot of Daddy issues. But FI has all the qualities I wished my father had while growing up.
DH and my dad come from two different planets, I swear. The only thing I can think of that they have in common is that neither of of them likes public speaking, but where my dad is a nervous wreck about it, for DH it's just a preference not to be in the spotlight.
Oh and they both jump into pajama pants pretty much the second they get home, but that holds true for most of the guys I know, lol.
Not my dad, but he is exactly like my grandfather. The first week that my mom came down and spent with us after we got engaged, my mother was in complete shock, she said it was see her father again as a young man.
Comparing FI to my stepdad who has been in my life for more than 10 years… I guess they’re a little alike. They are both very calm, cool and collected. They don’t sweat the small stuff and they’re both pretty shy. They are both hard workers and dedicated to what they do. Physically speaking… nothing alike. My stepdad is 5’5, relatively small in size and a Beefalo farmer. FI is 5’11 with “more to love” and a software developer.
I’ve heard that saying before but never really thought that it rang true. I don’t think that FI and my stepdad have enough similiarities to really confirm or deny the theory for me.
Hells no! My Dad is a drug addict who has never once taken responsiblity for anything he has ever done in his life. My FI is the most responsible person I hae ever met.
But now that I think about it - he is a lot like my Grandfather who was more like a Dad to me. He's caring, he loves his family, he loves sports and he is the most honest, loyal and reliable person ever. So many there is some truth to this. He's also a UNC fan and my Grandpa was born and raised in UNC and thus a fan.
FI is 80% like my Dad except for the temperament. They both went throught the same trials and tribulations growing up with single moms. They are both extrmemly humble and simple and are happy with the small things.
FI is a amazing. the few things they ahve different is that my father is a hot head and get mad for anything and FI is very level headed and calm. My dad is a handyman around the house and FI, well, is not.
Other than that, they get along extrmely well and they have alot of respect for each other.
I like to think that FI has a lot of my dad's positive traits, but none of his negative ones, ha. They're both avid readers, writers, and music lovers, and both have wide-ranging curiosity and interests. They're both kind people, and both of them can ramble on sometimes. ;) Oh, and they're both DIE-HARD Yankees fans, ha. This does make the in-law relationship easier.
But my dad is incredibly social, while my FI is an introvert. My dad has serious problems with committment and fidelity, while my fiance couldn't wait to be married to me and I would trust him alone in a room with a naked supermodel. My dad tends to react to things emotionally; my fiance more analytically. My dad likes to draw sweeping generalizations, while my fiance's interpretations tend to be much more precise. My dad can be dismissive of some of my beliefs/interests, while my fiance supports them wholeheartedly.
Of course my fiance has some flaws. But at least they're different from my dad's!!
Yes and no. No in the way he looks and in his skills/hobbies. My dad is super handy and my husband is very white-collar. But in their personalities, absolutely. All I ever wanted was to find someone that would treat me like my dad treats my mom (amazingly) and I did. They are both very good men.
Ehh... they both have blue eyes and beards (FI was clean shaven when we met but I prefer him with a beard, probably because my dad always had one) and they're both hard workers. Other than that, not much in common. They can't even find much to talk about, usually.
This is a really interesting question! I'm with @mightywombat in thinking that my man shares many of my dad's good characteristics, but not the bad ones that made/make my relationship with my dad a bit troubled.
He and my dad are both very smart, excelled in school while still getting into lots of trouble, speak several languages each, play pranks, write stories, play basketball and watch too much ESPN, have a personal relationship with god (I don't, but I admire this in both of them), place an extremely high value on loyalty, are fiscally conservative but socially liberal, tend to see things as black and white rather than shades of gray, are close to their mothers but not their fathers, and grew up in large families and wanted/want big families of their own.
On the other hand, my dad is a lawyer and has always been more of a lawyer than a dad. He likes to win arguments rather than solve problems, and he has trouble showing and discussing emotion. He has difficulty relating to people on anything other than a professional level. He can explain anything, but doesn't listen very well. He works too much. He drinks a lot (high functioning alcoholic I think), and occasionally got violent when I was younger. My fiance is the opposite of Dad in those respects. He's very extraverted, loves to be around people and is very insightful into the different dynamics of people and their relationships. He is very caring and gentle, and never wants a fight. He can tell me when he feels hurt without hurting me back, and he listens when I have a problem.
I could go on, but it'd get cheesy. Basically, fi's got the smarts, determination, and loyalty of my dad, but without my dad's poor people skills and impenetrable laywer shell.
Apparently so, but I didn't even notice until my Dad himself pointed it out. I asked him something along the line of, "Hey Dad, why is it that you never liked any of the men I dated until I met Mr.Coast?" He replied with, "Well I thought they were all idiots because none of them had anything in common with me!!"
This was followed by some questioning on my part and from my Dad's own mouth I learnt that he and my DH have a LOT in common. Same clothes, same shoes, same hobbies, same taste in music, and they even work in realated fields!!
That being said they obviously have their differences and aren't complete clones of one another. I think the reason why I chose my DH is not because he reminds me of my Dad, but because we share common goals, values, and interests. I think it's a given that someone who fits your life well should also fit your parents well (if you have had a good relationship and upbringing with them). It makes sense to me anyway..
My fiance is not really anything like my dad. But, they still get along.
My FI ad my dad are a lot alike. They are both super easy going, rarely get upset, similar sense of humor and they both spoil me (a lot!). I would consider my dad and my FI my two very best friends. They are the most amazing men I have ever met.
There are a lot of similarities actually. kinda freaky.
Both are musical--name that song types.
Both are very philosophical and love reading and discussing complicated topics.
Both can be a bit moody. They are similar heights. Though they don't look anything alike aside from both wearing glasses.
My dad's much more of a risk taker though and they have much different tastes.
No my FI is nothing like my dad,but after about age 11,me and my dad started to have a really strained relationship,and even now when we meet up we keep the conversation civil but not exactly personal (something which we are both working on)
The one thing they do have in common though is that they are both quite openly afectionate,or touchy feely you could say. My dad still tries to hold my hand when were out having lunch or something,even though Im 22 and it does make me feel a little uncomfortable. I have to remind him Im a grown woman,not 8 anymore!!!
They have the exact same sense of humor. It's kind of scary sometimes. I learned just to roll my eyes and shake my head at both of them.
My FI is a lot like my dad in the way they view life. In fact there have been quite a few times when one will say something and then a couple hours later the other will say the same exact phrase!!! Pretty creepy!!! But my dad is awesome so I am honored that my FI has the same ideology towards parenting and other aspects that my dad has. However, he is not tooooo much like him. when we have sex I do not picture my dad.lol. I say it's normal and relax a little about it..... No worries.
NOPE. That was by my design. My father really didn't have many redeeming qualities, so I purposley chose someone who was the opposite and I'm so blessed.
My fiance is nothing like my dad, but he is a lot like my mother. Scary?? Haha
@amazur2: wow... I couldn't take it if my FI was like MY mom....my mom is controlling and very pessimistic....lol
They are similar in a lot of ways, and enjoy hanging out together fishing and working on cars. I wouldn't have it any other way, cuz my dad has been the #1 man in my life for most of it, til hubs came along. I couldn't imagine being with someone my family (especially my dad) didn't approve of or like
I'm in the same boat as a few of the other bees...my FI has quite a few of my dad's good characteristics (same type of sense of humor, smart with finances, super into researching things before he makes decisions, very intelligent), but doesn't have his bad ones.
I'm in the same boat as a few of the other bees...my FI has quite a few of my dad's good characteristics (same type of sense of humor, smart with finances, super into researching things before he makes decisions, very intelligent), but doesn't have his bad ones.
I am so grateful Mr.TKE is NOTHING like my father. My father is just the biggest @$$ in the world. The only reason I even still talk to him is that my step-mother is manageable.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| This Time Round | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 3 |
| rebwana | 3 |
| eloping | 1 |
| MidnightSun | 1 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| sara_tiara | 1 |
| JulesSchnooks | 1 |
| vlbee | 1 |
| WestieGirl | 1 |
| Ellegee | 1 |
