- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
He's pretty nonchalant, which makes me more annoyed when he has an opinion on something I disagree with! :)
Mine doesn't get all hyper like I do, but he does ask about it and is willing to give input when asked. He tries really hard to be interested, and I try to get his input on everything.
the easiest way is to just give him choices. Either-or questions only require a simple answer and don't make something a choice unless you would truly be happy with either one. Then, you'll never be disappointed by one of his choices but he can still be involved
My DH wasn't involved at all - he figured he did the ring and proposal and the next bit was up to me. It suited me pretty well as I mostly did whatever I wanted and had a great group of girlfriends and bridesmaids who were more than willing to help. He chose the venue with me, and did cake and food tasting, and chose his boys' suits, and obviously had some input to music and ceremony, but basically I did the rest. Which was usually showing him 2 or 3 photos and saying "I like these, which do you want?" It did get me down occasionally when I felt he really didn't care, but on the day he had an absolute ball - much more so than I think either of us anticipated.
thanks for the replies ladies. i mean, he is doing the music, alcohol and already selected the tux(es), but i get so excited and giddy about things and i want him to get giddy too! lol...
FI started out not wanting to be involved at all (and being completely clueless about the process!) However, he's become more and more involved, and now does his own research to form a real opinion! It did take about 8 months though. I think he got involved when he realized it was just a few months away.
Actually Mr. JB is very involved. He's calling places, getting price quotes, picking out his attire already. He's even made a spread sheet. If you knew my JB you'd realize what a big deal the spreadsheet is. We planned our first wedding for 2009, but had to postpone, so we've started all over again for our 2011 wedding and he's so much more involved this time. I'm shocked and loving every minute of it.
My fiance isn't as into it as I am, however he does like to be involved and have his say in things. Sometimes I will talk to him about something wedding related and he rolls his eyes or changes the subject (usually flower/ decoration related) but when it comes to things that he feels 'matter' he is more than happy to give his input.
ha no!! he is not involved that much at all... but honestly its ok, for now. i picked out (&researched) the church and venue..after we signed contracts he came with me to look around so he could see it.
the only thing i hope to get involvement from him is maybe the food and the music, maybe the tuxes. Other than that, i don't mind calling most of the shots. Hes a "whatever you want" kinda guy!
Nope, and it makes me sad sometimes! I always want to talk about some idea I have, and he's like, "uh huh, yeah, that's good" *sadface* I think most guys are like that though! He's excited about the marriage, and talks about that, but not so much the wedding. I'd rather that than the opposite though!
HE DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! I want him to be involved, but everything I suggest or ask his opinion on, I get the shrug and "that's fine/whatever you want babe/it's going to be all about you, do what you want to do!!" (and the all about me thing...only because he told me he wants me to have "my" day.) The whole discussion on it's all about you babe, well I don't want it all about me. I want it all about US! How do I make him see that? To my very obvious frustration, he just lets me do whatever and it's ok...but I would love his input since I am trying to plan OUR wedding from TX and the event will be in MN. >>>SIGH<<<
Mine is definitely involved, he's had lots of opinions and will randomly stop in the middle of the conversation and say "I can't wait to marry you, our wedding is going to be amazing." :-)
I'm sorry you girls are having problems, maybe try to find specific things to get your SO's involved on that include things they enjoy?
@miss lily, that's what i want from him too. like, he calls his fam and reminds them of the wedding since most of them are out of state, but, when i ask him questions, he's like (in my homer simpson voice) 'yeah, no' or the ever famous 'i'll become more excited once the day gets here'.
my face=blank stare
mine is fairly involved with the planning. He gives me his inputs when i ask him and tells me whatever i want. sometimes i just wish he would be more into it but i take what i can get from him haha i dont think most guys are into the little details as the ladies since girls always dreams of her wedding
Mine's not interested in planning at all, but we did have to have a talk about him being critical of things. He had no idea how much time and thought and research I put into stuff before bringing it up to him and how much it hurt when he decided he didn't like an idea. We decided that he wasn't allowed to say "no" without a good reason and/or an alternative. Luckily we're on the same page with most things.
@tasha- I have told him before that I want input from him even...I have told him that I don't feel like our wedding is as important to him as it is to me. The kicker was when he replied with "babe, it's never going to be as important to me as it is to you"
ME= WTF face. I was completely baffled, and honestly kind of hurt. How am I supposed to react to that? He does make up for it by saying things like "I can't wait to see you walking down that isle" etc. But I really want him to feel like this is important to him too.
My fiance isn't helping plan much at all. It did bother me at first then I found a way to get his opinion with out annoying him. I'll save up 5-10 ideas for 1 thing (ex:invitations/napkin rings/centerpieces/etc you get the idea) and ask his opinion. I think it helped him compare & give me the feedback I was looking for.
My FI wants to be involved, but he's under a lot of stress from work, so whenever I brought up wedding stuff, he'd get even more stressed and frustrated, so even though he wanted to be involved, I made most of the decisions (though I generally asked i x or y was okay first).
He designed our invites, found and signed our DJ and helped with going shopping on invite-put-together day when we ran out of supplies from the craft shop.
Everything else is me and my mom.
Now he's wishing he would have eloped when I offered that to him (which is what i wanted..now that he knows how much goes into a wedding, he's regretting it).
he's been involved when i ask for the help :) he's made all of the big decisions and gone on the hunt with me (ie. venue, photog)...
he's kinda slackin in getting his things done (tux, limo, honeymoon)... but tux and limo aren't too worrying for me (we have 6 months left and have the vendors we'll use) and the honeymoon we want to put off booking until we get more information :)
my FI is taking the backseat cuz he wants me to pick everything i want without his influence :) he says it's my day and he doesn't want to get in the way and will be there when i need him to be
mine has been super-involved considering he works full-time and has been mixing a record in his spare time. he's been involved in picking out rings, going fabric shopping (and chose more than me), and is working with our unofficial caterers since he works in the food industry. not AS involved as me but that's because i'm obsessive compulsive and that's fine. he's been spending A LOT more time on our playlists than me, will be in charge of sound equipment, and his recording scored us an AMAZING band - for free. next up: teaching him to use a rotaty cutter to help with sewing projects!
My FH is involved in the wedding planning. Certainly not into the tiny details as much as I am, but will give me his opinion whenever I say “ohh! Or what about ____!”. He also will just randomly say that he can’t wait for our wedding, and for being married, which is always nice to hear.
A few weekends ago, I got him involved in his very first craft project ever lol – cutting the embroidery threads to the correct lengths for our Save the Date Bookmark tassels. He said he really wanted to help with the project, so I gave him a number of crafty job options and that’s the one he picked.
I gave my FI a job. His first job was to get his lists addresses. Once he did that his job was to pick the DJ. Then I had him proof read the invites. Not sure what his job next will be but I will think of something.
He is very sweet and is letting me do what I want. He says that I am the one with the vision and he knows it will be wonderful!
My fiance is very involved and has been a good little helper! I give him his to do list, he does his research and summarizes his findings so we can discuss. He's also a voice of reason, especially when I have one of my obsessive perfectionist bridezilla moments!
My husband was not involved at all. I think that for most guys, all the details and things are just not interesting to them and there isn't really much you can change about that. I would try to see if there is something specific that he is interested in like food or photography and then put him in charge of that element.
my FI is involved in a way, i guess.... He does none of the research but will turn down an idea and not give alternative suggestions.
I think what drives me so NUTS about him not trying to be more involved is that I have very few friends here and my family/everyone (pretty much) I know is in MN. Therefore, I have no one to show all my ideas to and see reactions. :( Then his reaction is a shrug, and it hurts.
My FI was the same way at first. He didn't seem to care that much, he was soo excited to get married but the planning didn't interest him until I really broke down and told him how much it would mean to me if he tried to get more involved. Since then he's been soooo amazing and he even shows me things we can do for the wedding now. Try having a serious convo with your FI about it. I hope that works hun.
GROOMZILLA.
I wish he would back off a little!! He says I'm "not allowed to go shopping unsupervised". Driving me crazy!!
I don't know if he thinks I'll go spend money we don't have...which isn't the case because I'm extremely frugal, but as much as I like it for some things, let me do something on my own for others!!
generally no, but he can muster up an opinion if i narrow down the choices to 2 or 3 options..
not least he isnt groomzilla like my FI i swear he isnt even letting me plan OUR own wedding! i got to pick out my dress bm dresses and thats about it!
I have to brag as say the hubs was awesome during our wedding planning :) He took care of things when I asked, had lots of valuable input and really cared about it all. It was great.
So, it makes me sad when I hear about grooms not caring. I mean, my husband didn't really care about flowers, for example, but when it came to things like our invitations, the food, cake, finding a DOC, his guys' suits, photography, etc., he totally cared and was enthusiastic.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| This Time Round | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
 vorpalette |
3 |
| fishbone | 3 |
| sara_tiara | 2 |
| rebwana | 2 |
| allegrovivo | 2 |
| julies1949 | 1 |
| TriciaAndDazzling | 1 |
| deathbydesign | 1 |
| red_pepper_gal | 1 |
| KristenGotMarried | 1 |
highly involved in your wedding preparation? my fi is sooooo nonchalant and he is getting on my nerves. i know he wants to marry me but when does that adrenaline kick in? daaaaaaaaaaayum!