Post # 1
My husband feels that I am too serious and that I do not smile enough. To change this, he loves to play with me. My husband tickles me, slaps my ass and kisses the back of my neck. He will also squeeze my sides and cover my eyes while kissing my cheek.
I don’t enjoy it at all. It feels too sudden and annoying. In the past, I would push my husband’s hands away and tell him sharply to stop. Hubby has recently told me that it hurts his feelings when I stop him from playing with me. He says that when he teases and touches, he is trying to show how much he loves his wife. My husband also says that he wants to see “my beautiful smile” more often and my boundaries are far too rigid.
Now, I have always been told that I am too serious and I need to lighten up. I think this comes from being bullied and made fun of a lot…I never knew if people were just teasing or if they were making fun of me.
My boundaries are rigid because I have survived a lot of abuse, from people who trampled all over my boundaries. I have an appointment with my therapist next week and we are going to discuss this.
Bees, is your husband playful? Do you like it? Can anyone suggest how I can learn to enjoy being played with?
Post # 3
@PositiveThinking: my fiancé is. I love it though because I love affection/attention. He always jokes around- grabs a boob/ slaps butt etc… I do it back to him though too. The only time I get annoyed is when I am trying to be serious and he can’t stop messing around. I get the whole boundaries thing you have but maybe take joy in the affection and attention part of it. I’d much rather have a slap on the butt then no effort at all to be fun and affectionate.
Post # 4
I enjoy kisses and hugs…just don’t like the playing.
My mom told me that only men in love behave like my husband and I should be glad.
You and she are completely right.
Post # 5
My husband is very playful. He doesn’t like PDA so when we’re around other people, or even just busy together in our own kitchen, he will slap my butt, grab my sides, tickle me, etc. It doesn’t always feel good (sometimes in an effort to be sneaky and surprise me he does it too hard), but it always makes me smile. I think your mom is right… it’s my husband’s way of showing me that he still likes me and he still has fun with me.
Post # 6
My FI is playful…sometimes I love it and sometimes I have crap to do(like getting ready for work) and it gets annoying. It is how he expresses love though so live learned to mostly like it and be playful back
Post # 7
My husband is very playful like this… Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s downright annoying. BUT, he means well when he does it and I know it’s his way of showing he loves me. I think I’m too serious sometimes too 🙂
Post # 8
My husband and I play like this ALL the time.
We love it, it keeps us young and the love alive.
I love laughing with him as we are entangled in a mess of body parts after rough-housing.
I understand why you may not like this attention, but it is your husband just trying to connect with you playfully. Hopefully your therapist can help you guys meet a common ground on the issue.
Post # 9
Yes, we are both sooooo playful!! Hide and go seek the whole nine yards!!
Post # 10
We are both very playful, but probably me slightly more than him. We love to mess around, chase each other, wrestle… even my dog gets involved. We aren’t a quiet little family, that’s for sure 🙂 I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Post # 11
I get both sides of the coin. It is very loving and caring that your husband wants to play with you. Try hard not to push him away or it can permanently damage your relationship. If he is startling you, talk to him about it. I was with someone who liked to grab me from behind. I knew he meant no harm, but I was always taken by suprise, it always scared me and took me a second before I realised who it was. He could have tried harder not to suprise me, but he stopped trying because he felt rejected.
Post # 12
Yes, very playful and I love it. Sometimes I’m in a crabby mood and don’t take advantage of it and it hurts his feelings. It’s his way of showing love and affection and I try very hard to cherish it. I’m luck to have a man that is so loving and isn’t afraid to show it!!
Post # 13
@PositiveThinking: My husband sounds like yours. He’s always being goofy. It’s one of the things I love most. I have a stressful job, and he always reminds me to relax! I can see why his actions might not be well-received by you. Talking to your therapist may help 🙂
Post # 14
we are playful as well. i think maybe if you got involved with it then it would be more fun and you would see that he is just beig playful and loving! i always try to get a reaction out of my spouse, ill slap his ass then he will chase me atound to try to get me back. its just fun and careless! and i think you would have more fun if you tried getting him back when he does something!
Post # 15
I need to learn to relax my boundaries and enjoy life a little bit more.
Post # 16
We are very playful. It makes me laugh every day! 🙂