Post # 1
Recently I was talking to a close friend about my upcoming proposal (FI and I designed the ring together, and he’s asked me to take off a couple of days at the end of the month– no questions asked), she was gushing about how romantic the whole thing was and mentioned that her husband is not romantic. At all.
Do any bees have experience with so-called unromantic partners? She wishes he was more romantic, but he claims that ‘you knew who you were marrying’ and sees no need to meet this request. As her friend I suggested that maybe if she did some more romantic things for him/ surprises him every once and awhile, he may clue in and try harder.
Any suggestions about how to slyly make a man more romantic? Or are some guys just not romantic, and this is a lost cause?
Post # 3
My guy doesn’t know how to be romantic sometimes, but out of the blue he sneaks little love notes into my work uniform, or makes me a snack that I like 🙂 But other times he has no clue what to plan if I give him a day to plan something sweet for us. So it’s a toss-up but I don’t mind if he isn’t romantic.
Post # 4
my SO totally isn’t romantic. Sometimes I wish he were, but it’s worked out thus far, and I’m used to it. He does do thoughtful things that show he cares, but I wouldn’t call them romantic (i.e. picking up something at the grocery store that he thought I might like). I’m curious to see how the proposal turns out. He said he has some ideas, but nothing concrete (he’s also not really a planner…). I did tell him he at least needs to properly ask me!
Post # 5
Husband is not romantic, he has his moments which are very few and faaaarrrr between. Our proposal and wedding were not that romantic, hell our honeymoon wasn’t even very romantic. Sometimes I wish there was more effort but I knew what I was getting in to.
Post # 6
@PoppyH: “Husband is not romantic, he has his moments which are very few and faaaarrrr between. Our proposal and wedding were not that romantic, hell our honeymoon wasn’t even very romantic. Sometimes I wish there was more effort but I knew what I was getting in to.”
My DH was a lot more romantic when we were first dating. For example, sometimes he’d drive the 3+ hours to see me for an hour-or-2, just because. Nowadays, his romance is lacking, though. Sometimes he’ll do little things for me (pick me up a treat if he’s grocery shopping, make me a nice dinner, etc.), but I miss his more romantic ways.
Post # 7
@brighteyedgirl: I think we all also have a different idea of romance. DH does not do the big grand gesture kind of thing. He is never going to stalk my etsy favourites and buy me one out of no where as a surprise. However, he does ALWAYS open the car door for me and hold my coat. I probably should give him more credit.
Post # 8
Deffo not sadly.. we’ve been together 5 years in september and hes only ever bought me flowers twice 🙁 I feel like if i have to ask for them its not the same as him wanting to get me them lol He does regularly make me dinner though, and we watch movies at night before bed.
Post # 9
My husband ia not romantic at all, except for when it is expected like valentines day, or my birthday, or our anniversary!
He’s done maybe 5 romantic things that weren’t on a special day in the 6 years we’ve been together.
I’m the romantic one, but I’m ok with it, when he DOES do something romantic, it’s always a sweet surprise! 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
He’s not terribly romantic, but he does do thoughtful things on more than just the ‘special’ days [Valentines, anniversaries, etc.], like he’ll text me randomly that he loves me, he likes to cuddle, & he surprises me by bringing home chocolate covered pretzels every once in a while!! We don’t have candle lit dinners & flowers are reserved for Valentine’s & my birthday haha. But that’s ok & I love him for what he does do!!
Post # 11
@PoppyH: Oh, we definitely define it in different ways, for sure. I’ll give him credit where/when credit is due, but it’s lacking these days… I open doors for him more than he does for me, lol.
Post # 12
My husband is very romantic in tht he does really thoughtful things just to make me smile. He’s not the type to buy flowers, but he will bring me special treats or write sweet text messages and notes to me out of the blue. 🙂 I feel lucky!
Post # 13
All of these little things you ladies describe ARE romantic. I hope this will make her feel better.. I know for a fact he holds her hand, compliments her, brings her home treats, opens doors, etc.
To me, the little things are so much more important then him grandstanding around with candle lit dinners at fancy restaurants, those planes that write messages in the sky, lavish gifts, etc. Which is what I think she wants.. that’s not reality, those things are expensive and don’t show love or committment.
I consider my FI romantic because he opens doors, holds my hand, texts me that I’m beautiful, kisses me to wake me up in the morning, brings me coffee at work on his day off.. to me those things are so much more than surprises with a monetary component. It makes me feel loved, and there’s nothing more romantic than that.
Thanks for the responses!!
Post # 14
@KC-2722: Is he romantic? In a word no. Would I like him to be? Of course. But there you go, it is what it is.
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Ah, I think BF is good at being spontaneously romantic. Like, in the moment he’ll come up with some lovely things to say, or will randomly do one of those kisses where the girl is swung down (if that makes sense?). He’s not super great at planning things ahead though.
Do I wish he
were better at that? Maybe :3 but honestly I could be doing a lot worse at its not like I manage to be 100%romantic all the time ^^
Maybe sometimes the problem more comes from differing definitions of romantic? I don’t know many men that have the whatever it is to plan big romantic gestures.
Post # 16
@KC-2722: My FI is really romantic. He writes me love letters on a weekly basis and is always doing sweet things for me. I have never had to ask, he just does it. I think it is either in a person’s nature or it isn’t. I wouldn’t want forced romance as it would take away from the gesture.