(Closed) Is your SO your best friend?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: IS your SO your best friend
    Yes, he's my #1 : (120 votes)
    65 %
    He's one of my best friends : (20 votes)
    11 %
    It's a different kind of friendship than I have with other friends so it's hard to compare : (41 votes)
    22 %
    I love him but we've got different best friends : (4 votes)
    2 %
    We're barely on speaking terms : (0 votes)
    Other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think that plenty of couples are perfectly happy in situations where their S.O. is completely different from them and they are not “best friends”, but we were friends before we got together, and we are best friends. I have really close best girlfriends, but ultimately, I’m closest to R and I’m happy that way. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2703 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    FI is definitely one of two people (the other my best/moh) who know me inside and out, better than i know myself sometimes. that being said, i don’t necessarily think that all couples feel that their FI needs to be their “best friend.” it’s all relative to what people think of that word “best friend…”

    i think it’s important that your SO is someone that is very close to you and does know you on a personal/intimate level (for obvi reasons), but i think it’s perfectly healthy for the couple to have “best friends” outside of their relationship as well.

    i just lucked out that i have a male and female version 😉

    Post # 5
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I love my SO to death and we share everything with each other, but I still consider my MOH to be my best friend.  The hubby’s great and everything, but he’s no good at having a gab-fest and he’s not big on gossip, so I do those things with my MOH instead!

    Post # 6
    Member
    467 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    i voted “he’s my #1”

    i look at it differently from my other friendships though, so i was torn between that and the 3rd option – its just a wholy different kind of relationship – i love my bff, but theres a completely different dynamic with the FI

    hope that made sense lol – its definitely hard to explain, though haha

    Post # 7
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee

    He’s my absolute best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    In fact I had a ex-bf tell me once that he wouldn’t want to be best friends with his wife/gf because he’d rather have the guys around. I think that was the last straw before I left him, but I always think about him saying that. What a jerk.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    For me it was.  My DH and I tell eachother everything:  the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Sometimes he tell me stuff and I just want to be like, “UGGGG…I am NOT A GUY.  I do not need to know that.”  But then I realize, the a best friend can/will say pretty much darn near anything.  My best friends are the only ones in life that I trusted enough to get close to me, so I knew it would have to be the same way with my husband.  I do have a best “girl” friend and several close girl friends, so it’s not like I cut myself off from all outside social circles when the hubs came along, but he’s definitely #1 in my life and the one I go to first before anyone else.

    Post # 9
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    So… no I do not think that it’s important that your SO be your best friend… but he might be and you might not even notice it. Because what makes a best friend? Someone that you can always trust, want to telling everything to, and be a complete fool around and they won’t care…

    A couple weeks ago I wanted him to go to Wendy’s for me… I said “pretty please? I’ll be your best friend!” and his response was “wait, you’re not already?” I thought that was really cute!

    That being said… we met with intentions to date, we weren’t friends first…and have opposite personalities on a lot of things…so if I had met him and didn’t want to date him, we probably wouldn’t have hit it off as friends…

    So I have a rebuttle questions…if you weren’t with your SO…would you be friends with him?

    Post # 10
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Well, I don’t know if I would be now, since we have almost 6 years of a relationship under our belts, and whatever was bad enough to make us break up would break my heart too much. But had we not dated? yes, we’d still be friends. But I couldn’t imagine us keeping our hands off each other, haha. 

    I think it just depends on the person. For us, it was important that our S.O. was our best friend. I couldn’t have done it any other way. But that doesn’t mean that’s what’s right for everyone.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Yup. While I have other best friends, and sisters, he’s closer to me than anyone. I’ve always been choosy about friendships though, so it’s no surprise my FH and I are so close. I wouldn’t be able to hack it with a guy I wasn’t best friends with. My instinct is to stay distant from most people, and (excepting the few that are sisters, or like sisters) I don’t make or maintain new friends easily. It’s important to me that we have a deep, secure connection beyond physical/everyday intimacy. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My husband and I were friends before we started dating. I DO NOT consider him my best friend. 

    My best friends are girls that I can talk about shoes, body issues, fights w/ hubs, motherhood issues, reality TV, etc with. I show them a whole different side than I usually have with my husband. Not that he never sees that side, but I can feed that part of my personality.

    Since I was friends with husband before we got together, I KNOW whsat he and his best friends talk about. Boobs, hockey, cars, that hot chick in the red, annoying girls, crap music, car stereos, lawn mowers, etc. I have no interest. Go golf with your buds, I’ll go shop with my bestie.

    I think it’s important to keep these things seperate. My first huband was ALL ABOUT us being best friends and it drove me crazy. In my experience, and maybe it’s just bc I’m older, I think that sharing EVERYTHING puts a damper on the passion. I think my husband and I have the perfect balance of friendship and sexual tension.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I voted that its different. I love him (obviously), have a great time with him, we discuss hopes and fears in addition to the stupid stuff… but its just DIFFERENT. I talk to my bff every day for hours about random crap. FI doesn’t care what I ate for lunch or what I saw on Oprah… he’s a boy! I think that a great girl friend is really important.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3125 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I said he’s one of my best friends.. There are people in life that just get you, and he’s one of them. He knows me the best out of everyone, and I love him to bits, but I don’t think that i can get everything from our relationship. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    He’s one of my best friends. Yes, I’m probably closest to him out of everyone else that I know, but I can’t talk to him about how much I love history or how I’m having the worst period ever, that’s what my best girlfriends are there for!

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