Is your Spouse/FI/SI what you pictured as your "one?"

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is your "one" what you thought they'd be like?
    Yes : (68 votes)
    37 %
    No : (117 votes)
    63 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    Complete opposite!

    Post # 4
    Member
    442 posts
    Helper bee

    Not at all! I pictured my “one” essentially as my ex physically and academically but with my current SO’s emotions. Very much a “man” but with a soft side, incredibly driven and intelligent but also emotional.

    SO now (whom I plan on marrying in the future) is very emotional and genuine, just a few inches shorter than me and not really a “man’s man”. He’s very intelligent but is struggling academically and with ambition, although I know he has the drive to get where he wants to be. He is SO affectionate – I love it but honestly sometimes it’s a little too much! What I love the most though, which really sets him apart, is that he cares so much about other people. He always wants to make other people happy and cares about being a good person and always doing the right thing with others.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2630 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @freshflowers:  Yes he is, but I should add the caveat that I never had any specific picture of the perfect man in my head, just kind of a sense of the type of man I’d like to marry. He hits all of the major check points (smart, funny, etc), my small list of specifics (college sports fan, wants to adopt kids, etc), and falls within my general type of tall, lanky, and dark hair. Aside from all of that, he just fits all of the intangibles that I wouldn’t have originally thought to put on any list that makes us work so perfectly as a couple.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My husband is exactly what I wanted (tall, gray eyes, dimples, etc), but I didn’t really think about personality traits, which is really superficial lol.  Fortunately, I met my husband playing WoW, so it was really his personality that made me fall in love with him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I dated women, so, no.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @freshflowers:  I never really thought about it. I remember thinking after my first wedding ‘So my husband’s name is Kenny. Huh. Weird, I never thought I would be married to a Kenny’ Mostly because in my hometown I didn’t know any Kennys and it didn’t occur to me that I would marry someone I hadn’t known my entire life.

    This time around, it’s funny because my exLTR and FI have the same name. So that name has been in my head for 10 years at this point. Now it’s the most normal name in the world for me, so I doubt I’ll get that same feeling.

    As far as looks and personality go, I have a thing for dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and tan skin, so…yeah FI is exactly what I like. He might be a little bit, how should I say it, “safe” compared to what I expected to end up with. He’s almost a drama-free zone. He’s the nice guy with lots of female friends and no girlfriend. He’s shy. I am so not shy it’s scary. He can be a little inhibited sometimes, but even though I usually like a little more excitement I’ve come to appreciate his quite qualities. He’s very sweet and affectionate and I love that.

    Post # 9
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I actually decided after my previous relationship that I was looking for ALL the wrong things in an SO. I stopped picturing a certain type of guy and just decided on core personality traits that I knew I needed them to have. My FI has those so he’s definitely the man I hoped for! Couldn’t have predicted all the other, unique things about him that really make him the one I want to keep 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee

    I always figured I’d be marrying a woman if I ever chose to get married, but my SO is perfect in every other respect. Maybe not what I would choose if I were custom-designing a partner, but at least this way I won’t get bored! =P

    Post # 11
    Member
    5483 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HannahGrace:  I had dated all men til DW so … Me too 😉 nope not what I expected!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @wrkbrk:  Haha, thanks!  I feel less weird now 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Total opposite.  Total.  But it was one teeny, tiny small thing….on our first real date, we were walking along a lake side park, and he switched sides with me so that I was away from the bike path (he does the same thing on sidewalks).  My dad always does that too, and they are the only 2 men that I’ve ever seen do it….so yup. that sealed the deal.  Rough around the edges, no post-secondary education, (quite!) colorful language, blue collar, older, divorced with kids…..the opposite of the type of man I thought I would end up with.  Glad that the universe knew better than I did and put him right smack in my path so that I couldn’t ignore him!

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Haha no. When I was in my early teenage years I made up a list in my head of ‘Mr Perfect’, half of those he isn’t even close! It’s really funny, but he is The One for me, that list got thrown out the window as soon as we started dating 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    @cdncinnamongirl:  Mine does that with sidewalks beside roads, he will make sure he is on the side closest to the road, it is so sweet 🙂

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