Issue With His Side of Guest List

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

By no means whatsoever would someone like that be coming to my wedding, even if my fiance had to stick his tail between his legs and uninvite him. I would never allow someone to come that wasn’t supportive of our relationship and that treated me like scum.

Post # 4
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

A verbal invitation isn’t binding. This guy sounds like a jerk, and if your FI doesn’t get why you don’t want him there THAT in itself would be a huge problem for me. There are going to be tons of guests at your wedding, but only one bride, and that is you! He shouldn’t care if this guy that he is only “civil” with attends the wedding!

Post # 5
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh, hell no. Your FI needs to tell them he made a mistake and they are not invited (blah, blah, intimate ceremony, blah, blah). Oh hell no.

Post # 6
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@JessicaJupiter:  wait a second… the girlfriend of your fiance’s friend told you to keep your attitude in check with her boyfriend????? please tell me I read that wrong. Who the hell are these people and why the hell are the inserting themselves into your relationship like they are? Why gives a sh*t if Bob doesnt like you, I think I’d have FI talk to Bob and tell them to leave you the hell alone (including his gf) or they will be uninvited, no questions asked. Then their behavior will dictate whether they come or not. That is absolutely not OK for some random couple to be talking to/about you the way they are!

Post # 7
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@JessicaJupiter:  Hell would freeze over before people like this would be at my wedding. I think you should put your foot down…hard. If your FI won’t uninvite them do it yourself. Unreal.

Post # 8
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Uninvite them…Verbally.

Post # 9
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hell freaking no. Uh uh. No way even if pigs started to fly in a frozen over hell. Why should other friends fight over YOUR wedding invitation list? That’s not a good reason to keep them as guests. Stand your ground and discuss with your FI just how hurtful their presence would be on what should be such a happy day. It’s his job to uninvite them, and he needs to pronto.

Post # 10
Member
1951 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@JessicaJupiter:  They need to be uninvited. Given the way Bob has treated you in the past, I am shocked your FI invited him. I understand that Bob is really pushy, but it’s your wedding day too. The fact that this guy has done pretty much everything in his power to break you up, he has no right to attend the day that binds you together. 

Either your FI needs to step up and stand up for the woman who will soon be his wife, or you need to tell Bob and Jane that sorry, the invitation was premature and you won’t be able to accomodate them after all. 

These people need to be cut out of your life, ASAP. 

Post # 11
Member
3935 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@JessicaJupiter:   Don’t invite them – let the chips fall as they may.  They are NOT friends – their words and their actions indicate otherwise.  Why on earth these people would even be on anyone’s guest list is beyond me.  Dare I ask why your FI considers them friends?

Wedding guests are people who are supportive of you, your FI, your marriage and your future relationship.  

 

Post # 14
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@JessicaJupiter:  I’m glad that your FI was understanding of the situation. Sometimes I see future brides talking about their fiances demanding that someone the bride absolutely cannot stand be in the wedding party and stuff. It’s sad to see that these women’s fiances would put a friendship with someone who is pretty terrible over their relationship with their future wife! It’s good that he was able to see that this could cause a huge problem for you even if you had to resolve it in the end. I think that was a good compromise! 

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - The Fox Hollow

This is YOUR day and you deserve to be happy and enjoy it.  All that negative energy will definitely have an impact on it.

Post # 16
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh man, your wedding isn’t for another year? I would have just not sent them a save-the-date, not sent them an invitation, and let it play out that way. I think blatantly telling them that they’re not invited is going to do a lot more harm than good in this case. Invitations don’t go out until 8ish weeks before the wedding anyway, so a lot can change with your relationship with these people in that amount of time.

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