Post # 1
My fiancé and I had planned to use the following template wording for the our wedding invitations:
“Together with our parents
My mother in law stated that she wants her name and her husband’s name on the invitation, because it’s Chinese tradition. She also said my fiance’s name had to go first. I had an issue with this because Ive been feeling like his mom has been calling all the shots. I’ve decided to let it go and just include all parents names on the invites. My fiancé said that my name will go first. Another issue has come up. My parents are divorced and I’m somewhat estranged from my father. I don’t speak to him, he hasn’t been there emotionally or financially since my sisters and I were young. My fiancé says I still have to include his name on the invites because he is still my dad. The other thing is, I’m not having him walk me down the aisle. I’m not sure how to word the invitations now. It’s all so complicated. I feel like I’ve been sacrificing a lot of what I wanted and a lot of myself to make my mother in law happy.
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
cindy.tran.56211: That sucks :(. It sounds like you really feel caught in between … If you haven’t done the invitations yet then you could put something like “Along with their parents, bride name and groom name would like to invite you” so it doesn’t need to feel as awkward about your father, if you still feel like you want to include him.
Post # 3
The thing is, my in laws want to have their names on the invites I guess as being part of the hosts. Except that they’re not the hosts. my fiance didn’t tell his mom no, it’s not gonna be like that, we are gonna do them the way we want to (which is really what I wish he had said to her). Naturally I thought, well since his parents names are gonna be on there, I want to put my moms. But I can’t just leave out my dads. It’s just all a mess. It would be so much easier to go with my original plan but it’s too late because the future in laws already think their names will be on there since my fiancé didnt say no to his mom.
Post # 4
If you pay for the invitations, then they have zero say in how you choose to word them. But, if you want to keep the peace and do what they want, then I would use wording like below:<br />Ms. Margo Luanne Manning<br />Mr. Patrick Lewis Manning
request the pleasure of your company<br />at the marriage of their daughter<br />Amelia Rose
to<br />Liam Quinlan<br />son of Mr. and Mrs. Riordan Timothy Cullen<br />Saturday, the fifth of June<br />two thousand fourteen<br />at three o’clock <br />Gilfillan’s West Hill Country Club<br />Camillus, New York
Post # 5
If one set of parents is divorce, you still list the bride’s parents first, but with the mom’s name on the first line and dad’s name on the second line.
You could also say:
Together with their parents,
Bride and Groom
invite you to celebrate their wedding, etc.
You can still list your dad even if he will not walk you down the aisle.
Post # 6
My Chinese friend (divorced parents w/ mother out of the picture since young age) just sent out her invitations (Polish in laws) and they are worded like this:
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children
I say do whatever you both want. If he wants his parents on it to make them happy.. he is the groom. If you dont want your dad then dont. You each get to chose about your own family.. in my opinion…
Post # 7
It is proper to put the brides name first. His name will come first once youre married, but as a not-yet- married couple, the lady’s name is always first. It’s your wedding, so do what you and fiancé want. Everyone else can hush. Also, might be a good idea to keep any remaining details from her, as it sounds like she will have an opinion!
Our invites will say “bride and groom request …”. We are paying, so we decide. However, we are not telling this to FMIL because she is going to be livid when she sees her name is not on there…even though she is not hosting. My mother is also upset, but they are not paying!
Post # 8
Also meant to say you should get your groom on board. It’s very hard to battle inlaws by yourself, he needs to step up when she gets too pushy!
Post # 9
Honestly I never get why this matters! Both sets of parents are contributing in our wedding, and we are putting ‘together with their parents’ and everyone is happy with that.
Remember it is your wedding, and therefore your invitations! It’s not like you’re suggesting leaving them off altogether.
To me, ‘together with their parents’ is just a more succinct way of writing than having a long list of everyone’s names. I never really understand what the issue is – and my dad is really traditional yet is happy with this solution as it’s fair to everyone!
The name order thing is up to you – I would say your name first is fine!
Post # 10
I think it depends on who is paying for the wedding. I’m Chinese, but since we paid for our own wedding, we didn’t include parents’ names on the invites.