Post # 1
This weekend I went with my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man to look for their dresses. Bridesmaid or Best Man is best friend. I forgot that Bridesmaid or Best Man is from a very conservative family. The Bridesmaid or Best Man told me as I was pulling different dresses for them to try that she would need to modify the dress so that it provides more coverage. So I think she’ll be wearing a bolero or something like that to cover herself. My first reaction was disappointment because I wanted both of them to match and I think her wearing the modified dress will look weird in pictures. I know I’m being unreasonable and selfish, but I really can’t help feeling really disappointed.
Post # 3
Ah, if it’s a modesty issue, then all you can really do is try to be supportive and understanding. For her, it’s not just a preference, it’s probably a way of life. I’m sure you guys can work to find some cute alternatives!
Post # 4
Can the MOH wear the bolero as well? That way they’d both be matching, and Bridesmaid or Best Man will feel comfortable.
Even if one wears the bolero and the other one doesn’t, I still think it will work. A lot of people like to distinguish between the Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs, maybe this can be a way of telling the difference between the two!
Post # 5
I’d be a little bummed too. I don’t think you can classify that as being unreasonable because you haven’t told her she can’t modify the dress… right? Did they order the dresses already? If not, is it possible to find a dress that will provide the coverage she needs and accommodate your MOH? It sounds tough but maybe its possible.
Post # 6
Yeah why don’t they both wear boleros for photos? Then the other Bridesmaid or Best Man can take hers off later.
I don’t think it’ll look weird in photos–i went to a wedding in October where one of the bridesmaids was very overweight and in a strpaless dress and she wore a bolero (but nobody else did). I thought it made her look classy,, honestly, but not in a “i want to stand out” kind of awy.
So i don’t think it’ll be a big deal if your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t want a bolero.
Post # 7
Or you could find a style of dress that she would feel comfortable wearing without having to wear a bolero or anything and have them both wear it. Ask what she would feel comfortable in. Maybe a dress with wide straps and scoop or v-neck top. There are plenty of pretty and modest dresses.
Post # 8
I’m going to place the order for both of them soon. I’ve been looking at more conservative Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses but I have seen many of them and the ones I’ve seen I don’t like and still don’t provide enough coverage. Also, I don’t feel it’s fair to my younger sister, the Maid/Matron of Honor, to be stuck with a matronly looking Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, especially since the wedding will be outdoors in July in a rose garden.
I’m having both of them wear with Alfred Angelo 7074. (I don’t how to provide the link here for pic). I told her that she can modify the dress because if I say no then I don’t think she can be an attendant. I don’t how the bolero will look. Will she stand out too much? Will the guests be distracted by her and not be focused on the bride. I guess I don’t want her to get too much attention which I know she probably will since I have a small bridal party. Sigh…
Post # 9
Honestly, I don’t think anyone will even notice. All eyes will be on the bride!
Post # 10
If you really want them to match, couldn’t they both wear boleros?
Post # 11
I agree with DG, no one will notice. If it makes you feel any better I’m actually encouraging my BM’s to all wear different shoes and not all get the same hairstyle on purpose so they look different and unique.
But I wish I knew wearing a bolero was an option! I am also conservative and was humiliated by the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I had to wear for a friends wedding. It was super low cut and showed all of my cleavage no matter what I did with alterations. I sucked it up and wore it anyway, but would have loved to cover up! The way I saw it was it’s her day, not mine I shouldn’t care how I look.
Post # 12
Bolero <<<<<< Bridal gown. No one is going to be distracted by a wee jacket.
Agree that perhaps both BMs could wear the boleros? Or perhaps your Maid/Matron of Honor could choose another original ccessory to accent her outfit?
Post # 13
Thanks ladies for your comments. Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t want to wear the bolero and to be honest, I don’t want her to. I think the dress is pretty the way it is and it fits the venue welll.
Post # 14
If she is pretty conservatice the dress is one that would make her uncomfortable. Strapless and sweetheart neckline and kind of form fitting. I would definately let her find something to wear over it to make her more comfortable, if you are are set on them both having to wear that dress. There is a reason why you asked her to be a bridesmaid and you should want her to stay true to who she is. I don’t think guests will think anything of it and it definately won’t take any attention away from you.
Post # 15
It’s pretty common to not have bridesmaids wear the same dress. I say let her get something she is comfortable in in the same color. I would never want my bridesmaids/friends to compromise their values or comfort level to look a certain way.
Post # 16
The chosen Bridesmaid or Best Man dress has some organiza in it. Should I suggest that she make an organza bolera? I hope she doesn’t get offended with that suggesion.