(Closed) Issue with my FIL…kind of long sorry and a bit of a rant.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

No. Send them now (or whenever your timeline is. Isn’t the rule 8 weeks before the wedding? Am I making that up?). This is nuts – you two chose this date b/c it works for you. That’s fine. You don’t need to explain it to anyone. Start smiling and nodding a lot to him, and saying things like “Gosh, I’m sorry that I don’t have your guest list. If I don’t have it by ___ (and give yourself time), I’m sending out the invites without it!” It’s April – July is still a bit away. Get them out ASAP and you’ll be fine. Good luck!

Post # 4
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with Alaskan Bride. I also would add that although it’s well-intentioned, you can’t fix your FI’s family or persuade them to care more about the wedding than they do. Trying to do so will just end in frustration.  Let him handle his own family, and don’t push for more than they’re willing to do. You don’t need to explain yourself or your wedding date to them. 

Also, I don’t even understand why his dad is asking that you delay?  Why would he need to know the guests’ schedules before you send out the invites? It’s not like you’re going to change the date!

Finally, it’s standard to send out invitations 2-3 months before the date.  Save-The-Date Cards usually go out 6 to 12 months in advance, particularly if a lot of people will have to travel. But you haven’t done anything wrong by not sending out your invites yet – you are still well within the normal window.

Post # 6
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the advice to let your Fiance handle his family. He knows them far better than you and he has to manage the relationship. It’s good to encourage him to make decisions thoughtfully and cold (not angry), but past that I think you just have to let it go.

Send the invites within the next couple weeks (that’s standard) and don’t let them mess with your head.

Post # 7
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Send out the invites anyway and ignore your Father-In-Law. He has some serious issues.

Post # 8
45 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hi there wedding twin! We have not sent out Invitations either, and I dont plan to for a few more weeks, so I think that you are totally okay with your timeline. Those people who remember the date when you tell them and change their plans to be at your wedding are the people who want to be there to celebrate with you on your special day. The 4th of July happens every year, but you will only get married once.

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