Post # 1
Good evening ladies –
I’m posting here because I’d like rational women’s views on a situation that I have with my wife. It also happens that my wife is a huge fan of your forums.
For our 2nd wedding anniversary she asked me what I wanted and I jokingly said some classy nude photos. I didn’t think she’d take me seriously but it turns out she did. Our neighbors are friends of ours and the woman of the couple is a photographer. They spoke and our neighbor lady photographer agreed to take the pics.
We went to her house a couple of days ago and even though my wife was super nervous, she went through with it. The issue is that partway through the shoot the photographer said she was expecting her assistant. Well her assistant turned out to be her husband. They both were pretty casual and nonchalant and we continued with the shoot. Although they were both professional, I think the husband was purposely positioned himself for “best viewing.”
We ended when my wife got a bit tired and agreed that we’d finish up on the weekend.
When we got home I told my wife I was not cool with our male neighbor friend being present and I don’t want him there when we complete her shoot. She says that I am way over reacting. She also says since they are our friends and neighbors they would be insulted if I voiced my concern.
What should we (I) do? They are good friends and they were for sure professional but I just don’t feel comfortable with my wife being nude in front of the photographer’s husband.
Post # 3
You can see if your wife is willing to talk to the photographer about perhaps finishing up the shoot with just the two of them, without you or her husband.
I can see why you’re iffy about it, but if he was being professional and you were present, the possiblilty of something untoward happening is very small.
The only other option I can think of is to suggest using the shots that were already taken, thus removing the need to finish the shoot. Though I’m not sure if that’s a viable option if there are more shots you/she/the photog want to take.
Post # 4
I personally would be uncomfortable taking sexy pictures in front of another man. And it’s weird to me that the neighbor didn’t mention her “assistant” was her husband. Even if my Darling Husband and I worked together, I would never refer to him as “my assistant”. I don’t think the neighbor would think anything of it if she said something along the lines of “I feel so silly about this, but it’s really hard for me to do sexy poses in front of someone who isn’t my husband. Would your husband be too offended if it was just you and me at the weekend photo shoot?”
Post # 5
Um, that is totally innappropriate. I assume that the neighbor is a professional photographer, correct? If she is a professional, she should have absolutely made it clear from the beginning that her assistant was her husband, and she should have given your wife the option for her to say no to him being there.
You don’t need to worry so much about the neighbor’s feelings. She violated some professional (and personal) boundaries. I would tell her that you would like all of the photos taken so far and that there is no need for her to take more.
Also, make sure you close your blinds at night….
Post # 6
unless your wife jumped on that guy, so what?
Post # 7
Post # 8
Pretty awkward that your neighbors have seen your wife naked, even if they’re photographers, know what I mean? Yes, the neighbor should have mentioned her assistant was her husband, since you both know him personally. Personally, I wouldn’t finish the shoot.
Post # 9
@HobbyLobbyist: I agree, she should have said up front that not only she was going to have an assistant but also that her assistant would be her husband.
My photographer was very upfront with everything because she knew that it can be a very awkward situation- she did everything without an assistant.
Post # 10
Personally I think this is totally weird! And a violation of privacy, nude photos or not. She should mentioned that before hand. Also if it makes you uncomortaBle you wife should respect that, as you should if the situation were reversed
Post # 11
Friends or not, this situation was one when you were using their professional services and your wife was the client. As the client your wife is completely within her rights to just have the woman present. If they are indeed professional then there should be no feelings hurt. You probably are over reacting a little but if you feel strongly about it then im sure your wife would have no problem asking the husband not to be there. Be clear that you trust her and that this is about your feelings and your comfort level not hers (as hers is clearly more comfortable with it).
I do think it is weird that your wife was not informed before the event that “the assistant” would be popping in. It worries me a little that he positioned himself for best viewing, what tha!
Post # 12
This is highly concerning, because professional photographers usually don`t need assistants for boudoir photgraphy. Lighting problem? She could have taken care of it. Pose not right? She could direct it. It isn’t like she is shooting high action poses that can change in a blink of an eye. It’s nude photography.
A professional photographer would have told you upfront. Her husband could vey well be the assistant however, the photographers job is to ensure the client is comfortable and relaxed.
Who do you think the photographer was trying to make comfortable the most?
The other question I have is, that if you were there, the photographer could have felt more comfortable with her own husband there. Maybe she was worried you two were a bunch of swingers looking to seduce her?
Just trying to look at both perspectives.
Post # 13
I think since your wife was the naked one it is up to her. If she felt like everything was above board and professional and she was comfortable then there is no problem.
Did you think that it might have been uncomfortable for the photographer to have you there? I mean that could be seen as an outsider as a little pervy and that she was a part of some fantasy/erotic simulation for you and your partner. The sexy photo shoot with a female photographer whilst the husband watches on. A bit like a tame porno! Maybe the photographer called her assistant in because she was uncomfortable.
Post # 14
It sounds like your wife already knew the hubby would be there. Doesn’t sound like she was surprised at all.
Post # 15
This whole thing is crazy. I wonder how much your wife knew about the husband of the photographer being there. I feel like this is the makings of a bad porno.
Your wife being so comfortable with it in the first place is what concerns me most. I would not be comfortable at all to continue with it under those circumstances.
Post # 16
I personally dont bring assistants for shoots like this and if I need one its a female! Frankly I dont see a need for an assistant for such a shoot.. I can move my lights and such! Ive done many nude shoots for males and females for their SO’s. Its private time!
Im sorry I would not go back to that photographer. You should of been told he was going to be there specially since you’re neighbor/friends. Its Nude photos not a glamour shoot!! I suggest you get a confidentiality agreementt as well so she cant sell or post photos online. I wouldnt trust them one bit for that stunt. Find another professional photographer in your area if you would like more. Google boudoir photographers in your city, Im sure you can find a female.
What did he “assist” her with exactly?? It has perv written all over it! IMO