Post # 1
Hi everyone! I have stalked this site for awhile and have posted a few times but now I have actually ran into my first big wedding issue… YAY…
So we are getting married in a catholic church at 3:15pm. I am assuming the wedding will be about an hour. That puts us at about 4:15, after a recieving line and slight mingling after the ceremony, I see it being around 4:30-4:45. My family and bridal party will then take some pictures at the church and maybe a few on the soccer field next to the church (we met playing soccer, our engagement pics had some soccer theme so I thought I would continue that theme).
We have set the reception to go) from 6-11. The reception hall is about 25-30 min away from our chuch so ppl will get there around 5-5:15 if they rush from the wedding. Obviously they cant go in yet unless they just sit in their parlor area.
So here is the issue. We were going to start at 6pm, no cocktail hour as we would be getting to the reception around 6 too, so we thought we could just start dinner and have more time for dancing. WELP… got a text from FMIL saying that she thinks we need to start it at 5 and have a cocktail hour for people. She thinks its unfair for ppl to have to wait around. 1. for all the out of town guests we have 4 hotels for them to choose from and all 4 r WALKING DISTANCE to the reception hall so they can go back to the hotel before it starts AND i have given them the ability to take advantage of the open bar and keep them from drinking and driving. 2. I have been to many catholic weddings and there is always a big gap usually because the wedding is early because of saturday mass. In these situations I have just taken my time getting to the reception, gone back to my house if feasable, OR just gone to a bar for a little bit.
I personally dont see it as that big of a deal as I feel that it happens all the time. And FMIL is bugging me (nothing like an 8am text this AM after a 12 hr shift at the hospital) to extend an hour, which means we must add hordourves and pay to have the bar open an extra hour and pay for the place an extra hour… around $2000. Im sorry i think that is ridic and not work it. So what do you guys think??
Post # 3
I would call your FMIL and explain the money situation. $2000 doesn’t materialize out of thin air. If she would volunteer to pay for it, I would let her pay for it and start at 5:00
Our reception will start by 4:30 as our wedding will be at 3 and we will be doing pictures ahead. That said, we aren’t paying anymore to start earlier, and I would not be starting earlier if I had to pay more.
I am Catholic, and don’t like the gap. I never had. Not all guests who don’t live in town will get a hotle room. Going home isn’t always a great option either, as in the small town I’m from, our house is 15 minutes away from the “close” venue, if they are having their reception there. And now I live an hour and a half from my home town, which means unless I really plan on partying, I’m going back to my house after the wedding.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
An hour is not a big gap so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If she wants to pay for it though, she is more than welcome to pony up the cash.
Post # 5
I’ve been to two weddings with a 1 hour gap. It was a mess both times–People showed up to the church in jeans and then changed into nice clothing during the gap!
It was insane. It was worth it to us just to have a cocktail hour! But I would have FI talk to FMIL and go “Look, we’d love to, but it’s going to cost 2K. We can’t afford that! If you can put X towards it, though, we can do the rest.”
Post # 6
@Soccergk1987: I think that your receiving line is going to take you longer than you think. I would confirm how long your ceremony is. Your receiving line, I’m betting you’re looking at more like 45 to 60 minutes based on my own experience.
I don’t think an hour gap is a big deal at all. People will figure it out!
Post # 7
@bibbleskip That is what im thinking too… it is catholic and we were told it will be at least an hr and so with saying hi after the wedding and before reception we could be at the point where ppl will get to the reception 30 min early and u cant rent an extra 30 min so now Im looking at 2k for an extra 30 min.
Also they did offer to pay for it and then I told them how much and they said we would have to pay for some of it. and Im sorry, Im already at 230 ppl because FI parents are inviting over 100… so 100 r FI parents guest and the other 130 is FI and my friends, my family and my families friends… and she isnt helping pay for that. She literally just sent me the address to her godparents kids… UHHHH WHAT?!?!?!
And I have sat in my car for like 20 min before a wedding and it was not that big of deal. I also think its prolly not the best idea to have an open bar for 6 hours… and I dont want to move the wedding up till 5-10… that sucks haha
Post # 8
You gotta do what you want and what makes sense to you (financially included).
Post # 9
See and we have had a lot of family weddings these past couple of years and a lot of my friends have gotten married also and there was about an hour gap and it never was that big of a deal… I just was so happy with my timeline and felt it was good and now im getting pressured to change it… but his family isnt catholic so they are used to going to weddings where the ceremony and reception are at the same place and starts right away