- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2019
I was going to go anonymous for this, but I have talked on here before about related issues, and so don’t see the point.
But first, let me say I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH PORN. I say that in capitals because in other threads, no matter how many times the OP says this, many bees just don’t get it, and accuse them of having issues with it, when they don’t.
I am fine with FI watching porn, I sometimes watch porn, a couple of times we have watched it together. HOWEVER, I know he watches it every day or two, and he will only want sex with me usually once every couple of weeks. Used to be only once a month, but it has improved slightly.
He turns me down regularly, saying he is tired, had a long day, etc etc, but will still jerk himself off every day or two to porn. I know it’s easier to do that than have sex, but it hurts like hell for me.
As I said earlier I have watched porn with him before, but it is rare, I sometimes suggest it to help the mood for him, but he usually says no. He still doesn’t initiate sex, despite me talking to him about the initiation problem in the past.
I talked to him yesterday about the porn thing, and how it is negatively affecting our sex life, it is a problem when he watches it rather than have sex with me most of the time. His response was “I will stop watching it.” I am fine with him continuing to watch it occasionally, and said so, I just want it to decrease and our sex life to increase, with him choosing sex with me over porn.
But he said “no, I will stop watching it altogether. I want to help us.” Is it strange that that made me hurt even more? Up until he said that, I was thinking that he could reduce the amount he watches it and then our sex life will improve. But the fact that he feels the need to stop completely to help our sex life, just makes me feel like it was a bigger problem than I thought. It just confirms the fears I felt if that makes sense.
What do I do from here?