(Closed) Issues with a friend automatically assuming she’s a bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do in this awful situation?
    Invite her, but tell her she is not IN the wedding : (18 votes)
    90 %
    Not invite her at all : (2 votes)
    10 %
    Another option, please write in the comments : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I was in this situation with a friend.  I was honest with her, and ultimately she got mad and stopped talking to me.  We no longer are friends.  While it made me very upset, I’m very glad I was honest.  If she treated me this way, then she wasn’t a good friend anyway.  I think if you were to include her when you don’t want to, you would regret it later.  I would still invite her to the wedding, but definitely let her know that she will be welcome to attend as a guest.

    Post # 4
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m pretty blunt, so the next time I heard her say she was in the wedding, I would correct her. Let her know it’s a small ceremony, and you’re only having one bridesmaid, but then let her know she’s welcome as a guest. Who knows, if she’s that upset, she may not even come and then you’re ok because you invited her, and your Fiance is ok because she didn’t come.

    Post # 5
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Your day, your way! If you don’t want her in the wedding, she should not be in the wedding. I am sure you will find a gentle way of letting her know that. Whether or not she graciously accepts the news is another matter entirely–one that you cannot control. There’s nothing more irritating than someone just assuming (and basically demanding) that they are your BM/MOH! I feel for you! Good luck 🙂

    Post # 6
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I like what TriciaAndDazzling said. Today I had a friend (not a bridesmaid, I’m not a huge fan of her) announce on facebook that she was planning my bachelorette party and to comment if you wanted to come (my wedding is in 18 months and we don’t have a date yet either). I messaged her and explained that she needed to take the status down because the bridesmaids would plan the bachelorette party. I honestly thought she would throw a fit about it but she was pretty understanding. My advice is to tell Melissa you would be happy for her to attend your wedding as a guest. Honestly she should be happy she made it onto a guest list that small. Tell her sooner vs later so she can get over it by the wedding.

    ETA: Also if you decide that you don’t want her there, don’t invite her. Just claim the “small guestlist/not enough space” excuse.

    The topic ‘Issues with a friend automatically assuming she’s a bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

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