- 4 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Hello Hive. I am writting this annonymously because I use the same user name everywhere and I don’t want to make waves if someone I know reads this.
I have been engaged since December- the second person I called and told about my engagement was my MOH. She did’t even let me ask her to be a bridesmaid- I told her I was engaged and in the next breath she said “I’m so your maid of honor!” Which was great because we have been friends for 10+ years and she was person I would have asked to be my MOH anyway. I asked 4 other girls to be bridesmaids, two of whom she has met before, one who she has never met but is friends with and chats with on Facebook, and another who has never met or spoke with her. I made a group pinterest page and asked them to all pin things (accessories, shoes, dresses) that they like in their price ranges since it is impossible for them to all shop together (different states away from each other) some of them were more active than others but I wound up picking out a dress that was in their price ranges and that had a little bit of what each of them said they wanted. I picked out the bridesmaids dresses in January, before I even picked out my own, since I wanted them to have plenty of time to save if they needed to. I let them know that according to the store we were ordering from that they needed to order by x date.
After I chose the dress, I asked my MOH if she wouldn’t mind ‘breaking the ice’ and sending everyone an email to just say hi and introduce herself to them. She told me that she would “get to it soon” She has yet to send a single bridesmaid an email, text fb message, etc. Her excuse for a while was her email just wasn’t working, she couldn’t send emails and she claimed she never got any of the million my other bridesmaids sent her. I asked her since her gmail was apparently having issues, if she would be willing to make another free account (hotmail, yahoo, etc) but she told me ‘no that’s blasphemy’ to use anything other than gmal. Since she seemed unwilling, I told her to please let me know if her email started working, or if she would be okay contacting the bridesmaids another way. She never said anything and just let the subject go.
Fast forward to July- I asked all the girls to order their dresses by a certain day. NONE of them ordered their dress by when I asked, so I had to run around and kind of get the ball rolling on that, which wasn’t the end of the world but I was a bit miffed since I had given them so much notice about the date to order by. Finally everyone ordered theirs, except my MOH. Eventually weeks went by and she lost the option of ordering it through the same dress salon as everyone else. I had told them to order through the same salon I bought my dress from because they would be getting a massive discount- they would have to have them shipped to them but even with shipping it saved them all quite a bit of money. I scoured the internet and found another store that is near her (to save time and shipping) that she can order from. I also double checked the price, made sure they could take her measurements, could also do alterations, etc and let her know where to go and when to order by. She said she would order it once she finished a project she was working on for her part-time job in August.
Flash forward to September….. She FB messages me a few weeks ago to tell me that all of a sudden she doesn’t think she can afford the dress (which is under $200, and well within the budget that she gave me) I let her know that I couldn’t just pay for the dress for her, but I would be happy to pay for the deposit at least and then she could pay the rest when it came in so that she had some time to save (even though she has had since JANUARY) She never said anything back. I made sure to let her know that this new place she would need to place her order by October 1 at the LATEST, Oct 15th is the last day she could even place a rush order according to their ordering manager person. I also asked her while we were on the subject, if she could please email bridesmaid A and bridesmaid B because they let me know that they had been trying to get a hold of her. She told me that she was “working on it” and that she would “get around to it”. I got a little upset because she has been “working on it” for 9 months now, and to me it just seems like she has no interest? I let her know (in a very polite way) that she needed to contact the girls, and to let me know what she wanted to do about her dress. It has been over two weeks since she spoke to me, I have emailed, called on the phone, left voicemails, texted and messaged her on Facebook and she hasn’t sent a thing back. Not even so much as a ‘k’.
The thing that really bothers me is that she posts on facebook ALL. THE. TIME. about how she is going to concerts (she went to two just in the last week) and is going out and spending time with her other friends. She even mentioned being asked to be in another wedding at the end of 2014 which she is ‘so excited about’. At this point I don’t know what to do? I would love some opinions from bee’s because I think that a different perspective might really help me try to figure this out. I know that in this post it is all wedding wedding wedding- but I make it a point to talk about way more than just the wedding with my bridesmaids. I don’t even bring it up unless they do so that I don’t come off as a bridezilla or that I have wedding tunnel vision. I’m just kind of at a loss as to what to do here? What would you guys do if this was your MOH?