Issues with the shower and bach party

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:   Can  you bring up the shower with your MOH? Mention that you know how busy she is, and that the moms can “help” if it would help her? Maybe putting the ball in her court will ease the transition. 

About the guys, I think it’s ok to give your dad the best man’s number. The best man might need the hint, and he also might be grateful! The men can work it out amongst themselves afterward.

Is your wedding in April? It’s coming up!

Post # 5
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:  My girls were a little slower to plan than i initially desired… so I offered to help, and then suddenly they jumped to action! Just my two cents!

Post # 7
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am MOH for my friend. The other day her mom contacted me asking if I had planned anything yet and if I needed help. I told her I was waiting for he bride to send me a list of guests so I could plan according to the party size (seriously…i have no idea who she wants to come…100 people, 20 people. She has given no hints 🙁 Her FI also stated at one point they wanted a Jack n Jill shower so….). I was in NO WAY upset that she reached out to me and I am very grateful that she did. I would ahve your mom or FI’s mom contact the MOH and talk to her.

As for the Bachelor party…I think you should reach out to your FI’s best man. Unless your FI wants your dad there, I think it would be weird to have him be involved in the planning but not be in attendance. You could just approach the BM and say something like “I am not sure if you had amnything planned, but I wanted to know so I don’t plan any wedding stuff for when you guys go out for the bachelor party”. If he says no, then I would offer him your dad’s contact info, but only if he would be invited too.

Post # 9
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsWinTraining2014:

I think you are likely worrying unnecessarily about the bachelor party. Most men don’t plan ahead to this extent.

I think the pp made a perfectly reasonable suggestion. Contact the BM yourself in the guise of avoiding making any commitments for your FI on the same date.

The shower issue is a little more delicate. Although you want one, there is no law that says everyone is entitled to one or gets one. If someone wants to host a shower, they will. It’s a bit on the rude side to pressure someone into hosting a shower.

Having said that, many families of the groom do host a shower for the bride as a way of welcoming her to the family. If your FI is comfortable about raising the issue with is Mom, he could do that. If she reaches out to the MOH, that may get the ball rolling.

Post # 10
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsWinTraining2014:  We’re 2 weeks out and his brother/best man hasn’t planned shit.  It’s not really your business to push his friends to do it.  it’s their job and with 5 months left…they have a lot of time to plan something.  I wouldn’t step on toes if I were you.

Post # 13
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t worry about it. We are nowhere having the bachelor/bachelorette parties yet for our 6/7 wedding. Most plans will happen a few weeks before. My aunt decided to throw a shower on about 1.5 months notice. Just give it time!:)

Post # 14
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t understand why your father would be ultra-involved in your FI’s bachelor party.  I’m not sure of your timing, but if there are 5 mos, it seems that your FI and his friends can plan it.

Post # 14
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I was in a similar situation. My MOH ended up stepping in and helped plan my FI’s bachelor party. After the ball started rolling, the guys bought plane tix and everyone showed up! She lined up events and a timeline and they went by it and had a great time.

None of my BMs or my MoH stepped up for my shower. My mom finally got frustrated and told me she was going to throw it herself. She asked me for addresses and called my aunt to help her. I sent an email heads up to my bridesmaids and MoH with links of what they were supposed to do (which they had done nothing up until that point btw). My MoH and one BM stepped up and did the shower and my mom and aunt foot most of the bill. I think most shower issues have to do with financial issues 😉 Don’t stress – don’t feel bad having your loved ones step in and do what’s right. They don’t want you to stress so they are helping and trust me, it DOES help.

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