Post # 1
Earlier this month, my FI got a job offer in the East Coast and both of us know he can’t pass up. Everything happened so fast and the next thing I knew, he was on a plane last week. We agreed that I’ll stay in the West Coast for the time being to plan for our wedding and that I’ll move out there after we get married. I also agreed to take over his apartment to finish his lease. Which brings me to this…
Yesterday was the first time I’ve been back at his old apartment without him. And just like that it dawned on me that it’s the first time I’m there knowing he won’t be walking through the door. It made me unbelievably sad to the point that something so insignificant and stupid like can’t connect to the internet set me off in tears. I called my FI crying out of frustration and ended up arguing. He ended up calling later on to tell me that everything will be fine and I will be alright. And he also helped me connect to the internet…
Post # 3
@Dub D: Oh I have felt your pain! DH and I spent several summers/semesters apart due to internships and such – last year alone we spend the summer and fall in at least 5 and up to 8 hours apart. I remember getting sad/mad about the dumbest things. If I called and he was out with friends and said he’d call later – I’d sit on the couch and cry because I was all alone and didn’t know anyone in a new state and he was out having fun!I too couldn’t get the internet working – and to make it worse, I got terrible reception in the apartment and it kept dropping the call when he was trying to help me set it up!
If I called him several nights in a row and he was never the one to call – I’d argue with him about it – why could he never call me? Why couldn’t he ever think of things to talk about with me? Didn’t he understand that I just needed to hear his voice??
Try to remember that it will all be worth it in the end even though it does suck. Set up a couple visits now – even though they might be weeks or months away, being able to look forward to that is soooo helpful. I got a webcam which for me was the best thing ever – a lot of nights I’d just be on my couch reading and he would have his one while he was doing homework and such. Even though we weren’t actively talking to each other the whole time, being able to see him and talk when I wanted was great. Especially since the whole phone convo thing wasn’t going the greatest!
Post # 4
LDR’s are hard i know. Just know that it’s going to get easier and it’s not forever, just until after the wedding.
When is your wedding? Perhaps a “countdown” calender posted up might help!
Don’t forget to invest in some good webcams and skype often!
Post # 5
Aw, hon, I know how much it sucks. DH and I were long distance while I went to grad school in the UK. He saw me off at the airport, but it didn’t really hit me until the first night in my new room when I had to go to sleep without him next to me…and then I bawled myself to sleep and conked out for 20 hours straight.
It gets easier, I promise.
Post # 6
@Luckygal5571: yes! a countdown! I started keeping one about 4 months before his graduation date. Every day in my planner I would cross a day off and it felt soooo good!
Post # 7
Sorry, I’m being a reply monster here 😛
The worst for me were the couple days right after I saw him and even a little bit the time I did spend with him – I did a lot of ‘he’s only here for two more days and then he’s gone for another 2 months!’ which of course isn’t helpful!
But watching him leave/me leave was just the worst. Once you get a few weeks in, it becomes ‘normal’ to not have them around and it’s not as painful. But when you’ve just seen them again and realize how much you missed them, it sucks bigtime!
Post # 8
@hisgoosiegirl: “If I called him several nights in a row and he was never the one to call – I’d argue with him about it – why could he never call me? Why couldn’t he ever think of things to talk about with me? Didn’t he understand that I just needed to hear his voice??”
Oh my goodness, that’s how I feel! LOLBut I agree, the leaving part is always the hardest.
@Luckygal5571: Our wedding is probably going to be 2013, but we’re also considering Labor Day weekend next year if we find a venue.
@linguo42: We did long distance for the last 3 years. In fact, we started out long distance. I moved back last year and got engaged last month. I don’t know why but the LDR feels so differnet this time around.
Thanks ladies for your kind words.
Post # 9
Yeah, that moment when you realize he’s GONE is the worst feeling ever. My FI and I spent nine months in a major LDR. I was in Japan, and he was in Texas. He did come visit me, though, about four and a half months before I headed home. He said he has never seen anything so sad before in his entire life as my face when he walked through security at the airport so that he could fly back. I cried the entire way home – and it was a six-hour-long trip.
I promise, though: it gets better.
Post # 10
I’m so sorry. I can definitely understand. I moved into a new apartment and didn’t have internet for a few weeks. FI and I are in a LDR, so being online to chat or videochat is our main way of communicating.
Is there any way that you can move? Would you be interested in moving? Two years is a long time! But it can work. I’ll be getting married next summer. FI and I will have been in a LDR for 4 years at that point.
Post # 11
@GreenEyedMoon: I feel ya!
@RayRayFurious: We both have very conservative parents and we want to honor their wishes to not live together until after the wedding, which is why I don’t want to move just yet. Plus, we figured that it would help if one of us is local when planning a wedding.