It got harder

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We did it for two years. For us it was backbreaking. I hated every minute of it. Came a time where we just decided we were not living life without each other. Trick is, know when to call it quits and do what makes you happy. Life isnt about suffering. What is stopping you right now? Is it even worth it? We decided we had done all we could do. And now we are together I only wish we had done it sooner. 

Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly, I don’t know if there is even an answer for this… If you search the net there are all these women who say to stop being a baby and to toughen up. However, I have happened to notice one common factor with these women: most of them appear to have children. This leads me to believe that if you have kids maybe it makes the time away from your beau go by faster? Or maybe it makes you stronger because you’re thinking more about your kids than yourself? Whatever the reasoning, I don’t have kids and my husband (of 4 months) and I have been doing long distance (kind of, he works away 3 weeks of the month and is home 1 week, but I am working when he is home so we hardly see each other) forever. It is seriously so difficult and it catches up with you. I am starting to question everything. It is not a happy life being seperated from your spouse and living alone.I often wonder what I could of done differently, or what to do now, but (as you know) just because you are apart it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. I wish he would find a new job and move home, and honestly, if he doesn’t soon, things may end badly between us because like the other girl said, “life isn’t about suffering.” </3

Post # 4
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

westindianbee:  I know how this feels and it sucks. I did long distance for two years while I was in grad school and my fiance was on the opposite coast (2,500 miles and 3 time zones away). The things that got me through were: 

1. Don’t leave without having your next trip planned. Having that internal countdown to when you next see each other helps the time go by and makes it feel less permanent. 

2. Talk every day. We find some way of communicating (texts, cards, phone, e-mail) on a daily basis. Make sure there’s an open stream of communication

3. Set limits. We said no more than 4 weeks in between visits and would move mountains to make that happen. 

4. Try to set an end-point. LDRs can’t be forever. Ultimately you both need to co-locate so part of that is making a concession or having an end-point. 

5. Create your own life and look at this as an opportunity. Take up hobbies and make time for yourself- it makes you a more complete person and helps to pass the time

Those are all I can think of for now. I feel your pain – LDRs suck so much, but if the relationship is meant to be you can make it work! 

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