- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I am so beyond annoyed with DH right now. I don’t think I have ever been this upset with him in our entire relationship. He is on a 6-day trip with his best bud from HS, camping, watching a race. They do this every year. The trip itself is not the issue.
We are broke, and I have been fruitlessly job searching for months. I have a crappy job that at least offers benefits, but I make spare change, and am paying for grad school.
First, I was annoyed that he will be out having fun, and spending money (not much, all said and done, but still spending $$$ on a trip), and I’m sitting at home working my crappy job and going stir crazy. I have to work weekends to maintain benefits, so I can’t take any trips right now.
What is REALLY eating at me, though, is what happened the day he left. We had planned some *ahem* fun adult time right before he headed out. Afterward, as he was packing up last minute items, I asked what time he would arrive at the camp site that night.
“Yeah, I’m staying in (city on the way) tonight.”
“Uh…. okay…. WHERE?”
“With a friend at (university in said city).”
“Who? I didn’t know you had a friend there”
“I have lots of friends there”
Me:…. (Sam is a girl. She was one of his college friend’s long term girlfriends. I am immediately angry, confused, and upset, but try to remain calm).
“I thought she was in (state across the country)? Like, since last year? Isn’t she done with school?”
“No, she is grad school now. I’m going to stay with her and then drive to pick Adam up in the morning. It’s too long of a drive all at once.”
Me:… (lightly, in an attempt to joke about it before raking him over the coals) I see how it is, you’re taking a trip and visiting your other girlfriend on the way.
Him: (Laughs) Right…. Sam… just…. no. It’s SAM!
I was in such shock, and he was literally walking out the door to leave in order to beat rush hour traffic, that I didn’t grill him. I just didn’t want to deal with an argument, and then have to deal with the argument while he was away for 6 days, because I KNEW that if I got into an argument right before he left, I would be miserable the entire time he was gone. I HATE having important conversations over the phone. Plus, he always gets crappy reception at the camp site.
Look, I don’t think anything would happen with Sam. I trust DH. When I started dating DH, he was temporarily living with a female roommate (also a coworker), who was engaged, and believe me there was no attraction between them. I know Sam, and I know DH, and I’ve never seen any indication in the past that would make me worry, but I am FURIOUS that he didn’t tell me his plans. I KNOW he did this purposefully so that there would be no argument before the trip “ask forgiveness, not permission”, right?
And if it wasn’t on purpose, can he serously be that stupid? We are not in freaking college anymore!!! And it is NOT okay to not inform your WIFE 5 minutes before you leave on a trip that you will be visiting and staying with a female friend, whom she did not even know you still talked to! OBVIOUSLY they talk enough to plan an overnight visit. Ugh.
I’m just so annoyed. I trust DH, I really do, but I don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me his plans, or hell, that he still talks to Sam. The last I heard about her, she moved across the country, broke up with his collge friend, and starting dating some skinny hipster dude. He never even had great things to say about her when she was dating his friend. He even suspected her of cheating with skinny hipster dude before breaking it off, because she posted 1,000 pics of them together up on facebook right before it happened.
Knowing DH, he really wasn’t looking forward to the long drive, and found out that Sam was now in (city on the way), and decided to use her for free couch. Who knows what Sam thought his intentions were!
I really don’t want to jump to conclusions about Sam, or her intentions, but then she posts this up, hours ago: “Life has many ways of testing a person’s will – either by having nothing happen at all, or by having everything happen at once.”
You’re damn right, nothing happened, honey, if you are talking about MY HUSBAND!
DH is going to be in for one HELL of a talk when he gets back. If I can hold off that long. Everuthing about this trips is now pissing me off, now. I honestly hope he has a shit time, and that it rains every day, because now on top of feeling a little sorry for myself being broke and bored, and working the weekend while he is gone, I get to imagine what Sam might have tried, or said, or hoped, or wanted to happen with my husband.