(Closed) It is time to plan wedding, but too much FIL anxiety

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not in the same situation, so I can’t say I know how you feel. However, I think you and your fiance need to plan the wedding the two of you want. If that means a modest budget, then so be it. If his family doesn’t like it, then they can pay for the big lavish wedding. Seems to me they are more concerned about a party than the actual marraige. Plan the wedding you want and if they make comments, tell them you two want the focus to be on the marraige and not throwing a big shin dig for the whole town. I think most brides can agree than throughout the planning process there are going to be people who don’t like what you are doing. You just need to learn to block it out and do what you want.

Post # 4
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You know, it sounds like a blessing that they won’t pay, therefore will have no real imput into the wedding.

Can you do something small, like a destination wedding?   Elope?  Either way, it sounds like they will never be happy, so do what makes YOU happy.  

Post # 5
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MapleBecky: I totally agree.  Having someone paying means they get to make some of the decisions (at least this is what I’m experiencing with my own parents!)

Do what makes you happy and rise above their high noses!  By the sounds of it they are going to be judgemental no matter what you do.  Tell them they weren’t kind enough to contribute so you don’t have to be kind enough to listen to their criticisms.  I know it can be tough but you shouldn’t take anything they say to heart if it doesn’t come from the heart.

Post # 6
Member
46146 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

One of the skills we have to gain as we mature is to know when to care about what other people think.

Why would you care about what these people, who are rude enough to criticize and mock other people’s choices, say about you, your FI, or your wedding?

The topic ‘It is time to plan wedding, but too much FIL anxiety’ is closed to new replies.

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