Post # 1
I’ve started packing for our wedding. It’s really hit me. I am so crazy about my love, and I’m very excited about our life together. BUT, it isn’t what it should have been, it isn’t what it could have been, it just is what it is.
I am a mom of three tiny children about to get married AGAIN. My heart was destroyed in my first marriage. It took an almost rebirth of my soul to even begin break down the walls I had built around my heart.
When I married my ex I had a big traditional church wedding, and I stood in front of my family, friends, and God and vowed to love & honor him forever. He did the same. Love wasn’t the problem, honor was.
When he left I thought I was going to die. Not metaphorically, I really thought I would die. I had no will to live, but then I looked at my babies and realized that I had more purpose now than ever.
Then my love came into our lives. He was/is absolutly amazing. He is great to me and great to the kids. He loves me the way a man should love a woman. My kids may not see their mommy and daddy together, but they are going to see what a husband and wife should look like. I’m so blessed to have this man, and in 3 days this man will be my husband. <3
Did it take you a while to decide if another marriage was right for you?
Post # 3
Oh sweetie – this is SO normal.
I had some doubts about marrying again. But I love my FI to pieces. He makes me so happy and we are so good for each other. I decided to get married because living without him scared me way more than te idea of marrying him. Make sense?
You are mourning what you *thought* you had in your previous marrige. It’s a very natural thing to feel as you approach a new wedding ceremony. You start re-examining where you were, where you are, and where you are going.
You’re probably feeling “I’ve been here before and look what happened!” Maybe you are a little worried history will repeat itself.
But you said it yourself – your FI loves you like you were meant to be loved. That sounds to me like a woman who found what she was looking for and didn’t get the first time around.
Just acknowledge your feelings of loss and recognize the feelings for what they are. Then move on to a much happier life with a man who loves you and who you love.
Post # 4
@sonomagal: Well said!!!
@nannydeprivedmama: First of all, you are SOOOO not alone in how you feel. I think so many of us have these same feelings. It’s scary…exciting…but scary none-the-less. I don’t have small children…mine are all grown (27, 25, 23) but it doesn’t change things that much. When I divorced their father after 25 years of marriage, I told everybody I would never marry again! I even swore I wouldn’t even date for at least a year. I think that’s why it caught everyone by surprise when I started dating my FI just 5 short weeks later. Trust me…no one was more surprised than me! It just happened. We met and before I knew what happened, I was completely captivated. He talked to me the way my ex never had. He looked me in the eye and when I talked to him, I KNEW I had his full attention. It actually kinda freaked me out the first time we went to a restaurant together and he never once looked at another woman in the place. I had his complete, undivided attention. I cannot even tell you how many years it had been since that had happened with the ex…or if it ever happened! So yeah…dating, falling in love and getting married again was no where in my plans but, like everything else in life, I firmly beleive everything happens for a reason and FI was brought into my life. Now I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with him. I am scared to death to take those vows and I am terrified of being hurt again…BUT…like sonomagal said “living without him scares me way more than te idea of marrying him”.
I wish you so much joy and happiness in your new marriage and you are right…even though your children may not see their “mother and father” together, they WILL see their “mom and dad”…two people who love each other and share a happy, healthy relationship. Knowing that you are raising your children in a loving, caring and supportive environment is a huge blessing in itself. Good luck to you and your family!!! <<<hugs>>>
Post # 5
@helenc32: AMEN, soul sister!!!!