Post # 1
This would fall under the category of a vent i suppose, and i guess i’m wondering if any of you would be bothered by this too…
One of FI’s friends, J, was married last summer. She lives in a different town than we do, (about a 4 hour drive away from us) and out of our entire group of friends, FI and I were the only couple that weren’t invited to her wedding. That said, FI and this girl aren’t super close now, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but we were a bit surprised and i think FI felt a little hurt that he was left out when everyone else had been invited. Fast forward to this year – I intentionally didn’t invite her and her DH to our wedding…partly because I didn’t think they’d really care, and if i’m being totally honest, also because they didn’t bother to invite us to thiers. We are planning an intimate ceremony and cocktail reception for very close friends and family, and following that there will be a big party on my parent’s property which we have sent out seperate invites for.
So this morning i ran into a friend on my way into work, and we got to talking about the wedding. She mentioned that J would conveniently be “in town” and was wondering if she could come to the party. I was completely caught off guard, and so i just said that would be fine…but this bothers me for a few reasons. Why couldn’t she call/text/email FI or myself and ask, instead of getting another friend to do it for her? I want to believe that she is truly wanting to share in our special day, but i can’t help but feel that all she’s really interested in is partying with our group of friends for the night. I know i shouldn’t have said it was ok if it bothered me, but as i said, i was just caught off guard by the conversation. :/
I know it seems petty of me to be bothered by something so trivial when i am about to be married to the man of my dreams and best friend – and it is. I just can’t shake that nagging feeling that you get when something is bothering you – which makes me feel even more irritated by the situation. Do you guys think i’m being silly? Would this bother you too?
Thanks for reading…sorry this was so long! 🙂
Post # 3
I don’t understand why you invited her if you don’t like her.
Post # 5
I’d be annoyed by this too, but I would have said she couldn’t come to the party.
Post # 6
You really should have said no if you didn’t want her there.
Post # 7
@K. Mac: This probably would bother me as well. In the grand scheme of things though, you have to try to let it go.
I think she got the message loud and clear when you didn’t invite her to the wedding. At least she didn’t ask to be invited to the wedding part. Or maybe the friend took it upon herself to invite the other girl rather than her inviting herself?
Either way, you probably won’t spend much (if any) time w. her, so on the day it won’t be that big of a deal. If this is the only thing that goes wrong in your wedding, count yourself lucky 🙂
I am sure she just wants to see people. If she did indeed invite herself to the reception then well I guess it’s a bit tacky, but oh well. She wants to be there – that shows that it’s THE place to be 😉
You still have the ‘upper hand’ – petty as it may be, she still isn’t invited to the wedding portion.
Post # 8
I definitely would have said no, because when you see here there, you aren’t going to truly be happy about it.
Post # 9
@K. Mac: I’d be annoyed, too. Maybe she won’t come. I hate it when someone takes me off guard like that, I’m not enough of a bitch, lol. Us nice girls needs some bitch lessons sometimes. Too bad you didn’t just say no and now you’re stuck.
But, yep, you have every right to be annoyed.
Post # 10
You shouldn’t have agreed to let her come. What’s done is done, just try to enjoy your day.
Post # 11
I would have said no, but because you made the decision to say yes to the person you talked to, you shouldn’t let it bother you. If a friend had to ask you if J could come, J will probably be with the other friend more anyway.
Post # 12
@Sunfire: I agree! I’ve always had a problem with allowing myself be just be a bitch when necessary…i guess it’s something i really need to work on.
I realize now that i should have just said no. I guess it isn’t the end of the world if she’s there, and it’s not even that i ‘dont like her’, it’s more her entire approach and overall tackiness of how she’s trying to worm her way in as a guest that bugs me.
Thanks for reading / responding…i feel like i let off a tiny bit of steam 🙂