(Closed) It never rains. It pours. (Just need someone to 'hear' me)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Soon2BeeMrsG:  ((HUGS))  I am so, so sad for what you and your FI have been and are going through.  My heart goes out to you.

I don’t think you should postpone the wedding.  Be there for your FI – you two love each other very much and you’ll get through this.  Things will get better again and you’ll be married – committed to each other for life, through thick and thin.

He is very lucky to have you.  We’ve all been through stuff like this and if we haven’t yet, it is a certainty we will.  There are no guarantees that life is rosy and perfect all the time.

The pain will make you appreciate and savor the love and joy all the more.

Blessings.

Post # 4
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I am sorry you’re going through this, and your FI must be devastated that this is going on with his loved ones. Be strong and do whatever is necessary to make him comfortable with the wedding planning. Read his body language to figure out if it should be postponed or not.

Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Sorry to hear you guys are going through this. I have no advice, but it’s nice to see that you’re so supportive of your FI.  I really hope the news is good for your BIL. I’ll be praying that things look up for the two of you and your loved ones. (HUGSSS)

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

The only suggestion I can offer is, “be there for one another.” That’s what marriage is all about, and why we make vows of “for better or for worse, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.” Whatever you guys decide is the appropriate thing to do about the wedding, hold one another through this (as it sounds like you’re already doing.) Marriage gives us someone to share life’s challenges with, and the best thing you can do is be there for one another.

Post # 8
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry you have to go through this πŸ™  It’s okay for it to be a little bit about yourself, too.  Supporting someone else is draining; if it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be impressive when people do it so selflessly.  You’re clearly willing to do anything as long as it’s the best thing for your FI, and that’s admirable, but sometimes doing that with no outlet for your own frustration can cause resentment to set in and take its hold over the course of years.  Make sure you take care of yourself, too (I have no doubt that you’re taking care of your FI).

It’s okay to plan your wedding, and you could make sure that you have people who are friends of yours who you can talk to about wedding planning so that you have people who are excited for you supporting you in it.  You don’t have to feel guilty about wanting to be an official family unit with your FI, and wanting your FBIL to be your BIL.  If it’s too overwhelming, though, don’t feel bad about pushing it back…whatever you guys need to do to get through this tough time,  whatever will keep you two the strongest, never feel guilty for doing it.

My prayers are with you and your new family, I hope everything goes well, please keep us updated! 

Post # 10
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Soon2BeeMrsG:  Ohhh I can soo relate to your post and let me say how sorry I am to hear all of this – I can feel yoru pain in your post…BIG hugs to you…

Like you I thought I was living in the perfect bubble then someone popped it!!!  Don’t want to thread jack but my brother was diagnosed with a Terminal illness last year and then this April FI lost his job!!

Believe me the Shock to the body when we have sad or devastatings news is very difficult to bear, BUT I will say this to you, for me knowing that my FI was there through it all, even on the days when I did not want to talk and for him the same too – is such a huge comfort… FI eventually found a new job (all be it on the other side of the country!) so life DOES turn around.. and losing someone close is never easy but choosing to remember all the positive that they did and left to others helps to remember them with a smile (even while they are still here).

Sending you and your Family ALL the positive energy and prayers I can… (((((HUGS))))))

Post # 11
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Soon2BeeMrsG:  Hugs! thats so unfortunate that all this stuff keeps happening. 

Post # 12
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

So sorry for the bad news.  I wish FI’s brother the best of luck and hope he gets well soon.  (hugs)

Post # 14
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Soon2BeeMrsG:  Hey, I know what you’re going through, and in fact, I’ve often said the exact same thing many times myself–“When it rains, if it don’t ****ing POUR!”  I’m in a similar situation.  My FI and especially his mother have both been to HELL and back with all the sickness and loss in their family.  My mother-in-law lost three of her brothers (two disappeared and never came back after they went boating and the other was killed in a sawmill accident) before they were even 30 years old and her fourth (and last remaining) brother died a few months ago after taking bad after a hiatal hernia surgery.  FI’s parents divorced when he was a teenager and this is also around the time when his mother’s parents (who FI was extremely close to) died, one right after the other.  FI often says that his grandmother died of a broken heart after losing three sons and her husband. πŸ™  FI has also lost his sister and one of his nephews, who both died as babies.  Now his sister-in-law has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  All we can do is try to stay positive, keep praying, and continue to love and support our FI’s as much as we can.  πŸ™ Good luck to you! *hugs*

PS: Don’t give up on FI’s brother! πŸ™‚  We recently had some good news about FI’s sister-in-law, and while she’s definitely not out of the woods yet, things are looking up so it could all turn out fine yet, just like it could for your FI’s brother. πŸ™‚

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