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I'm in an interracial marriage and I hear that our babies will be cute and I don't get offended. I don't think people are saying that you're only dating your SO because you will have cute kids.
People are just trying to be nice. All babies are cute, I think you might be looking into it a bit much, but if it annoys you, speak up.
@KatyElle: hearing it from everyone gets to be 2 much. I plan on speaking up next time I hear that comment. I just hope I do not go completely A-wall on that person.
I always reply to people "yup, cuter than any baby you'll probably have because FI and I are such beautiful people! Look at us, how could be *possibly* make an ugly child?"
My current gripe is FMIL's BF. When we met him, we were talking about the dirty looks we get in Va, and he says to FI "I bet you get off on that". Not once, but TWICE. While trying to play the "us northern folk are so accepting!" card.
@surkim: I will so used that.....I guess people do not understand unless they have the experience.
@sexxysheddy: I'm AA and my SO is white. I have natural hair that I usually wear in an afro (my boss calls me Foxy Brown). When people tell me that our kids will have "good hair," or when anyone makes a comment to me about curly/straighter hair being "good hair," I tell them that healthy hair is good hair. My hair was never this healthy when I was perming it. And I don't plan to ever do that again. Besides, my SO absolutely loves my natural hair!
I'm black too, and my fiance is white. I actually don't mind hearing that. I mean, I think our kids are gonna be adorable too...so I guess it just doesn't bother me so much.
I find that statement a little odd in this day and age... lol. I honestly don't know how I would respond if people told us that!
Sometimes people don't know what to say and they say something like 'mixed babies are so cute!' lol hey, at least it's probably well-inteded ;)
Yeah, it's annoying but I bet they are just trying to compliment you guys and don't know what else to say. I've certainly experienced that before.
I am in an interracial marriage and it doesn't bother me when people tell me that. I know our mixed babies will make beautiful babies, same as they would if we were of the same race. It's not like people are saying it to be mean...
Good Lord that's how people react? good hair and cute babies? I think that is a strange response too:/
I have gotten the "cute babies" thing, but I think it's because people think we are a cute couple (nobody has ever said the whole mixed babies lot at me, but I really wouldn't mind it). I'm Jamaican (mostly black and a little white) and I have curly and kinky hair. He is Indian with very loose waves. If anyone were to try and tell me that our kids will have good hair (implying that it'd be because they were half Indian), I would go off on them. Healthy hair is good hair. Period. I do think their hair will be fun for me to style, because he and I have hair at opposite ends of the spectrum so it'd be interesting to see what genetics gives us.
sexxysheddy But we are cute..... To be honest, my first LO look just like I did when i was a baby and was sooooooo cute. My second LO looked like her daddy, who is french, and she was a fat pink pug looking thing, I mean seriously she wasn't cute in the least even to me and I am her mommy. Don't get me wrong I worshiped the ground my little squishy face wiggled on but she didn't get really cute until about 6 months.
My point is darker complextion on babies seems to make them cuter, because they look more like dolls and less like balls of pink squishy.
HAHAHA
OP- I am so sorry if the coments ppl make upset you i am sure they are well intended.
I really couldn't help but laugh my dad is black and my mum is half and half tho she looks white, I have relativley fair skin and hair that is pure afro, I think i was a cute baby but that all disapeared when i was about 3.
My BF is white and i hope we have beautiful babies, both the ones we make and the ones we hope to adopt, beauty comes form within, the values you are raised with etc.
Saying that, I know how many tears i shed (billions) having my hair washed and dreid, so although i have never and will never put chemicals in my hair i do hope i dont have the same drama my parents had trying to wash my hair with my own beautifull bundles of joy.
@sexxysheddy: I got a lot of comments from FI's (white) family, as I am a pale complected latina. People are always going to say idiotic things. You just have to learn whats worth your time.
ps. i love that you have "dirty jersey" as your location.
people say that to us too, but to be honest, i also say it to other interracial couples. i guess when i hear it, it makes me happy, because it reminds me that people have come so far. there was a point not so very long ago (in fact, 1967, loving v. virginia - i'm a law student if you can't tell), that black people weren't even ALLOWED to marry white people. just over 40 years later, people are telling me my mixed babies will be beautiful. it's almost like people have finally realized that the blending of cultures is an amazing thing. but i can also understand why hearing it over and over could be annoying. i might make a conscious effort to not say it as much =)
I think that you are over thinking this. You should go by the intention. If someone said something but you can sense it that they meant well (even though it may have come out the wrong way), then just LET IT GO. Stop getting annoyed over silly things like this. Life's got much worse issues than that which you can concentrate on.
And if you know that someone said it to be malicious or meant it as a backhanded compliment, then call them out on it. Simple!
I think people just mean well, and sometimes people are stupid as they would rather say nice things like that, rather than thinking it through properly :)
yeah you're looking too far into this.
though i can understand that it might get annoying if you hear it all the time.
mixed babies are beautiful.... but all babies are beautiful.
the "good hair" comment is totally uncalled for though!
well, i am mixed (black and white) and i say all the time that mixed babies are the cutest!
my SO is white so it's pretty likely that my kids will be fair, which to be honest i'm a little sad about. i want brown babies (and he even knows that!), but god, i love this man and i know our kids will be perfect with big brown eyes, curls and full lips (not that i've imagined them or anything :)).
i have "good" hair and my sister does not. it was a major source of contention between us growing up. funny thing is- she keeps her hair short & natural and it looks better than my mess 95% of the time! ( i say "good" in quotes because it's all good, really. i've always wished my hair was more course and could stand up in a beautiful afro. instead it's soft and fine and just lays there.)
all that said, take it with a grain of salt. it's not important or meant to be an insult. i try to consider that people are coming from a positive place rather than trying to put me down and it makes life a lot happier!
@szaerpoor: I totally agree! To think I couldn't have married my husband in the past, would have gotten flack and would not have been able to have babies with him makes me sad.
I'm Caucasian, my husband is Indian and I actually like hearing people say our babies will be cute! To me, that shows these people think biracial kids are a positive, not negative. I really don't mind it at all. But if it bothers you, you can speak up. But I doubt people mean any harm by it.
I honestly think people are just trying to be nice? I think it grates on you more because you think they're being culturally insensitive or whatever.
I get told all the time that DH and I will make cute babies because he has blue eyes (I have brown). I'm not offended in the least and I think your situation is the same.
This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I always have to bite my tongue depending on who I'm speaking to. If I had two white friends and the girl had really cute curly hair, I would be able to tell her how cute her babies hair would be. If they're interracial, it's an insensitive, borderline racist remark.
Maybe a side topic but the blue eyed, blonde beautiful image some people have stems from Hitler's own philosophy of a chosen race of people. I really don't know why so many people have this idea of an 'ideal' person. I've come across so many people, mainly up north, where they define people as beautiful because of their eyes or hair color being what I previously mentioned. I don't know when this idea will die out, but I certainly hope it does soon because it's so outdated and quite honestly small minded.
@sexxysheddy: I can see why that would bother you. I think people ARE trying to be nice, but not realizing how that statement can come off. My husband and I are the same race, but I've dated white men in the past and heard this comment with my longterm boyfriend. I have friends in interracial relationships and it's always the same thing, "mixed babies or biracial babies are so cute" or "mixed babies are the cutest." I think they are just trying to say that they think it's cool, but all babies, both mixed and not mixed are cute. (Well, for the most part...there are some unfortunate looking babies).
And a total yuck to the "good hair" comment. Like another PP said, good hair is healthy hair.
Im sure they dont mean that because your African American and hes white that you guys are gonna have cute babies.. im sorry but i think it would be pretty stupid if people thought thats the reason why you and your FI were dating/getting married in the first place. Mixed babies ARE cute- and so is EVERY other race as well.. All babies are cute- but Im sure thier intentions werent to offend you but only to comment that you two are lucky.
Girl, don't let that bother you. You know ignorance is everywhere. You will necver win that battle. As long as you and your man is happy then don't even sweat those comments. Keep in mind, you will get those comments your whole life together. People are so ignoant they don't understand how crazy that sounds. Best of luck.
People tell me and my husband the same thing. All I say is thanks and we will see. Don't let it bother you.
Yeah... My co-worker said, "OMG, Amer-Asian babies are so CUTE!!!" I wasn't sure how to react! Plus, "Amer-Asian"?? I've never heard that term.
Along with OP and @manda21: I it is weird and annoying when people say this. I don't think people are trying to be mean but I also don't think people are trying to be nice. I think people are ignorant and feel that mixed children get the "best of both worlds" without realizing that by making this assumption they paying FI and I and left handed compliment. I.E. my kinky, nappy hair is the bad, his pale skin is the bad. Instead of coming across as your children will be cute it comes across as your children will be cute because they are mixed. Annoying. It is like nails against a chalkboard when I hear people say that.
@manda21: I so cannot believe someone would tell you that. I swear people just need to keep their mouth shut.
@theoddbride: Thank you, I have learn to just ignore it all.
I personally think all babies are cute - I can see where this could iritate you, but I think most people are just really excited for you.
My fiance is interracial and his white features are very prominent, to the point people ask "Are you mix?" He's not offeneded, we both just laugh it off. I am interested to see what features our children will have.
I'm mexican and so is my DH. I'm tan my DH is not, he resembles more his Spanish ancestors. When we got married someone asked, "Did she get a tan or is that her skin color?" I mean really who asks that? and people tell me all the time that my babies are going to have light skin becuse of him. I get so mad because at this day and age people are still worried aobut the 'lightness' of one's skin. I'm just dumbfounded when I hear such things and I'm with you! We just celebrated MLK's bday. He said he dreamed that his children could be judged by the content of their carachter and not by the color of their skin....... Still a dream!!!!!! I always tell them what's wrong with my skin color?, you should ignore it, but if it bothers you so much just tell them!!
yeah people say whatever comes to their mind. ignore them , but if it's someone close to you and they keep saying it, you should tell them that it bothers you and you wouldn't like to hear those comments again.
I'm one of those people that say that half white and half AA babies are adorable. I think that to me it's something "Extra cute" because it's so different than me. I love the idea of seeing some of my features mixed with the features of AA people because I think they are gorgeous. I think the mixed complexions are so interesting and beautiful so that is why I say it.
I think that recognizing race isn't necessarily racist. I once read an article written on the phrase "I don't see color"- the author said "when I hear that people don't see color all I understand is that they don't see me".
On another note I also tell SO that I want to have Shawn Whites babies because I also love redheaded babies- is that disrespectful?
yeah those comments dont bother me much, im black and my sons father is italian. when i had my son there were a few 'he has good hair' or hes gonna be a heartbreaker comments because hes 'mixed' but i just let it roll off my back. im currently engaged to a european man, so its kindof deja vu when i hear the 'you 2 are gonna have cute babies' comment again. it is what it is.
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I am Black and FI is white and it gets on my last nerve when people tell me "oh mix babies are so cute". I want to scream to them I did not choose to date my man because we will make cute babies. I also feel like its an insult saying that babies that are 100% same race are not cute. I know they mean well saying it but it comes off really rude to me. Another crap I hate hearing is that your baby will have good hair. My hair is natural and perm free for 12 years and I think I have good hair. grrrrr