- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Ok bees – I need some real advice and I’m thinking this is the best place to ask!
I have this girlfriend who I met years and years ago while living in London together. We were quite close in London but now live in different cities back in Australia. Anyway back at the beginning of 2011 she got married and I was thrilled to be her bridesmaid. Really I was – so we set about organising her wedding – she picked out dresses for us and I flew down for fittings, I again flew down before the wedding for their pre wedding party with my partner (now FI). Anyway, her wedding came around and my partner (now FI) and I flew across to NZ for it, hired a house she picked out with the other bridesmaid, hired a car, attended all the pre wedding and post wedding dinners etc, helped her make flower garlands, helped decorated and cleaned and on the day wore a hideous pink balloon dress with a genuine smile, served champagne, chatted to guests – you know all those sort of things… cost us a small fortune, I didn’t have the leave saved up so I took it without pay, I was also studying my masters degree at the time – so it was really very stressful. But I was just happy to be there.
To top it off, I was really struggling personally, I had just lost my mum end of 2010 and seeing her around her family was REALLY REALLY hard for me, and seeing how involved her mum was in it all didn’t help either. Her family even had a conversation around the dinner table about being a funeral director – it was horrible for me but I managed to keep a straight face – I had only a month before picked out my own mums coffin, flowers and outfit for her last journey. It was so insensitive – but I kept it together and made sure it was ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE! She even said to me if I didn’t feel up to it with mum passing away I didn’t have to come, but I wanted to and I was looking forward to being there for her.
Fast forward to now, and I’m about to get married. I asked her to be one of the girls to be with me the morning of – I’m not technically having bridesmaids, but I’m having a few girls come over and get ready with me and chill out with me the night before. I’m showering them with gifts, take outs, girly movies, pedicures and face masks and I’m really looking forward to the quality time with them! All the girls are flying in early especially so we can spend this time together.
Anyway, I get this text from her saying she has just accepted a new job, and won’t be able to make it until Friday afternoon and will have to leave first thing Sunday. A little bit of me understands, but I am REALLY disappointed and upset about this. After everything I did to make sure I could be there for her……. L She never returns my emails when I’m asking her for wedding advice, she originally had picked out SHORTS to wear to my wedding – SHORTS! Really! Thankfully I convinced her it is going to be a formal wedding and maybe she should re think her outfit! Now, I’m not really having any showers, or parties, I’m not asking her to fly interstate more than once or overseas and spend 5 days and hire a car, all I’m asking is that she attends the Thursday night bridal shower with me and my family (my aunts really wanted to organise it for me) and help me get flowers for the reception Friday morning. THAT IS IT… that is all I wanted..
I’m so upset I feel like just uninviting her all together… I mean I bend over backwards and grin and bear so much and this is all I get…
Now am I over reacting? I just thought she was a dear friend and knew it was going to be hard for me and want to be there for me… obviously I was mistaken.
What would you guys do?