(Closed) It's exhausting

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry you’re hurting. He’s probably wanting to make it special. If you know he has the ring, can’t that be enough? I know it’s hard to wait for something you really want, but throwing the towel in on your relationship when a ring has been purchased and you know about it… I mean, maybe he wants to make some new date a special one and not have the engagement share? Maybe what he wants to do is weather contingent or he’s had to save up, etc.

I say just try your best to put it out of your mind. Take up a new/old hobby, spend time with friends and your family, catch up on that TV show. It’ll happen.

Post # 4
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Another option is to simply talk to him about it – ask what his ideal timeline for proposal, wedding, etc. is and let him know that you’re ready and waiting for him to ask so you can move forward.

 

Post # 5
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

In a way, I totally get what you’re going through.  I know he must be getting the ring any day now (or already has it) and I am so antsy for a proposal.  I’m still in the exciting stage, not the upset stage; but if months went by, I’d really be questioning if I had done something wrong or if he had changed his mind.  Maybe you can ask him that without necessarily asking when the proposal will be.  Talk to him about the health of your relationship and ask if he’s still excited about the idea of getting married.  Maybe that will ease your mind and clue him in that his waiting is raising serious concerns about his intentions for you.

Post # 7
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Men are awful like that. They just are!

Post # 8
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Does he realize it’s something you’re “going through”, though? He might not. He might assume you’re fine with waiting until he pops the question. The only way for him to really know it’s bothering you is for you to gently let him know.

Post # 10
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@BrandNewBride:  +100!!

I truly think that even though men may be aware that we are stressing about a proposal they do not realize the true cause for our angst.  If they did, they wouldn’t want us to feel that way!! He has got it all planned in his head and has no idea how truly upset you are. I’m sorry you’re going through this! *Hugs* 

Post # 11
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@EmilyJoy:  totally true!!

in the meantime, get all your waiting craziness out in the bee-we all understand!! 😉

Post # 12
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@beeeforeigocrazy:  did you tell him this? Ask him for a specific deadline. Then you wont feel like youre waiting in vain.

I dont see why women have to wait and just be quite. It is both of your lives, be an active participant!

Post # 13
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

How long has he had the ring just sitting around?

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