(Closed) It's good if I've been shutting it up for awhile, right?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@MariaW:  for me it would be torture because i like to plan ahead. I also feel that being 1000 percent honest with my boo is important to our relationship so no topic is out of bounds. BUT if your relationship has improved without talking about it then its good =0)

Post # 5
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@MariaW:  has he said anything about your job search? like is he trying to co-plan at all? if so that could be a sign that he knows you still care without directly talking about it

Post # 7
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@MariaW:  well then he seems like he wants you to be in his life far into the future. so if you get a job there and himm its win win. if either doesnt work out you still get at least one win. I think youre on a good path

Post # 9
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

As you know from my posts which youve commented on, I’m going through something similar and it’s tough. My SO has still not made the appointment with the therapist as far as I know but he said he’s tried calling, once after hours and once during lunch and was told he’d have to call back during regular hours to make an appt, the last time he tried calling was yesterday so I’m hoping he makes the effort to get it booked by the end of this week. Like you, I’m trying my hardest not to talk about it which I HATE, I’m a planner and I don’t like uncertainty, to keep myself sane I’ve been throwing myself into other things. Not sure if this would help you, but I keep reminding myself when I’m tempted to ask if he’s booked the appointment or anything future related, that I want and deserve a man who wants to be with him and that nagging isn’t going to make that happen. I literally tell myself this when I’m tempted to ask. So for now I’m stopping all talk of it and leaving it up to him, at least for now since it will need to come up again in the future.

My SO is also continuing to bring up our future, our house, our this and that, truthfully I’m not putting as much stock into those things right now because he said them a lot before and here we are. I’m finding myself in the apathy stage of things and Mr. Bees “plan” is coming naturally, I don’t want to talk about anything engagement related because I feel so let down by him right now. I’m just focusing on myself and what I want which is the only thing I can do right now, and the only thing I feel like doing. Have you thought about how much longer you are willing to stay in the relationship? 

I think taking a dream job of course is wonderful, even if something happens and you don’t get it, I’m sure something great is around the corner!

 

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It is important to focus on your relationship in the present. you should focus on getting a job. your SO is in therapy which is AWESOME progress.

I think you are doing real good Maria.

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