(Closed) It’s hard being the bigger person….(vent/sadness)

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@nskillet: You think she got pregnant on purpose to one-up you?

Post # 4
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not sure why you’re upset – because she is pregnant and you are too? You should be happy, that is such exciting news and now you can share the joys of being pregnant together. And just think of how close your kids can be growing up so close in age.

Post # 5
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@nskillet:

I’m so sad for you to see this sad side of you. ๐Ÿ™

I would hope she did not intentionally get pregnant to one up you. I mean, for me it took 9 cycles! So unless she’s fertile myrtle could just be a coincidence?

Think of all the fun your kids will have growing up with cousins close in age! ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m actually 2 weeks behind my SIL; wife of brother who is seven years older than me! What are the chances of that happening? I’m ecstatic that although we’re so far apart that our kids will be so close in age! Way to bridge the generation gap! ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope you feel better!

Post # 6
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just try and step back for a moment; breath.  Then find some way to enjoy the experience of being PG at the same time as your sister.  She loves to talk? Ask her for advice and let her rattle on.  And she’s only 4wks along… god forbid, if something were to go wrong in her PG… this is an exciting time for you both, so don’t let the competitive spirit you guys obviously have get in the way of your relationship.

Post # 7
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Also want to add – not saying you shouldn’t be upset. Obviously your feeling are your feelings and you need to work through them, but you should try to look at this in a positive light and enjoy this special time.

Post # 8
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m not getting it either….

Post # 9
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe you should look for the positives of being pregnant together instead? This was your kids will be close in age and you’ll always have someone to complain about pregnancy woes with. Look at this as an opprotunity to become closer with her, not another competition. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

It’s not that easy to get pregnant on the first try, so chances are she didn’t do it just to get the attention from you. Plus, there’s no way she can steal the attention from your baby, everyone will still be just as excited for your little one!

Plus this could actually be a good thing, you’ll have cousins so close in age! My baby is the oldest (well only) baby so far, and I’m hoping that by the time I have another, one of my siblings will jump on board and have a baby too so they can have some cousins!

Post # 11
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, I don’t know I’m just not getting it. Maybe because I never had a sister and always wanted one, but this seems like something really wonderful you two could share together? No?

Post # 12
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally agree with artbee.  I doubt she did it to get any of the attention from you, unless she knew you were ttc and decided to ttc too (but then she must have known how this would look..)

If your family warned you about it, they already know how she is and I think they are there to support you no matter what she does!

Congratulations on being 8 weeks pregnant, that is amazing and I hope that you are able to enjoy your first pregnancy as much as possible and not worry about her!  I think the thing that I am looking forward to most about pregnancy is the time between my DH and myself, and so I hope that you are enjoying that.

(I have to admit that I feel a twinge of irritation at your sister on your behalf.  A veerrry small part of me wants to say, “find out what name she likes and use it as your child’s middle name!” or something along those lines, but honestly I think everyone will be so excited for you and you will still get all of the “first time mom” attention especially because this is her second.)

Post # 13
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

For those who don’t understand, I think it all goes back to the history between nskillet and her sister. There’s a lot that’s not included here.

To nskillet: yeah, it’s tough to be excited about something that’s happening to you, and then to feel a little like your thunder has been stolen (again) by your sister.

I say, be excited for her if you can. If it’s really getting you down, maybe you need some time away from her to be excited for yourself first and to get your head wrapped around the whole situation. Just because she’s your sister doesn’t mean she HAS to share every little detail with you.

If you aren’t ready to deal with it, screen your calls. Only talk to her when you have another commitment in a few minutes so it doesn’t turn into a long share-fest on her part. And if she’s monopolizing the conversation, call her out on it. Say “hey, that’s great. Can I share some things I’ve been going through too? I just need to get it out, not looking for any feedback right now.”

Post # 15
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@happymrs: “but honestly I think everyone will be so excited for you and you will still get all of the “first time mom” attention especially because this is her second.)”

I second that. This is your FIRST time. You will get that extra attention for sure.

Post # 16
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

She constantly talked about how unimportant weddings were, and how important babies are.

This bothers the heck out of me as I’ve gotten this too.

So I sense that she’s never just happy for you and now that you are pregnant and she is again too, that once again, it will be about her?

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