(Closed) its hard on us bees, but a new season is here

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

Aww! I won’t lie, I’m pretty excited it’s offically fall too. I even wished my SO I happy fall via text today πŸ™‚ Not excited about winter coming afterwards… but I sure do love fall!

I am totally in the same boat as you.. it’s not “if”, it’s just “when”.. Although my situation of whys are a little different, we do live together already, but it’s a whole other slew of things that have postponed engagement/marriage.

So, do you two aboslutely have no way of living together? Would you want to at this point if you could? SO and I lived at his parent’s house for a couple of months before we moved in together. I honestly would move back in if they’d let us, to save $$ and also to just spend time with them and help take care of the house.. but we have two big dogs… so it’s pretty much a no-go. I think you are totally in a good frame of mind about saving $ though.. because I totally know how important that is!

It’s tough not to feel envy in a situation like that with your sister.. I am in the same boat. A good couple we’re friends with got engaged in May, and I’d love to have a ring on my finger and that commitment now, that’s forsure… but I just keep telling myself — it WILL happen, it’s just a matter of time, so why not enjoy the time I’m having now.. being single, but still with the man you love πŸ™‚ And also enjoying being young without the responsibility of children quite yet. We plan TTC within two years, so for now… I’m going to try and love my peace & quiet πŸ˜‰

Comfortable finances would change so much for us too though.. so I know where you’re coming from on that one! We could buy a house, pay off debt.. but it’s all about having patience, which I have a hard time with, lol

I can assure you that you are absolutely, positively 100% doing the right thing.  I’d rather be in very comfortable situation in 2 years and sacrifice the time together now. You two will have your whole lives to live together πŸ˜€

 

Post # 4
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been there. In fact, at 30 I’m still there. But living at home was actually the smart thing for me to do financially. After college I didn’t have a job so I moved back home and did some temp work until I was able to land an internship in my career field. Then it was another six months before I was finally working in the industry but I simply was not making enough to live comfortably alone and I didn’t want to deal with a roommate. So I stayed at home. Then I decided to go back to school and was later was laid off so being at home was a godsend. Plus I was able to help my folks out when my dad got sick.

It’s been tough watching my friends with jobs move out on their own and get married and settle down while I’ve been “treading water” at home but I know that I would have struggled a lot more had I not been living at home. Since I’ve been at home, I’ve been able to save money for our future wedding and other rainy day expenses and pay down my student loans a bit. So it hasn’t been completely bad πŸ™‚ Our lives don’t always take the path we hope they would but sometimes it’s not a horrible deviation.

Post # 6
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

@tea: I never knew your waiting story! I’ve seen you on the waiting list (I’m #45 but should be in the 20s.. lol. I didn’t join the list for about 8 months after I joined the bee) Anyway, you are absoulutely right in saying “Our lives don’t always take the path we hope they would but sometimes it’s not a horrible deviation.”. This is so, so true. I expect to had been proposed to and getting married this fall, but that didn’t happen, and I need to be ok with that. It’s awesome that you were able to make good financial  and life choices, it will pay off in a big in the long run!! It’s especially nice that you were able to be there for your dad!

@Starshollow: !! That is amazing you two live next door to each other — what are the chances of that!? Next best thing to living together πŸ˜‰  Ahhh…. a nice vacation sounds soooooo good – we could totally use one! That is such a good way to look at! It sounds like you are looking at this whole thing from a really positive point of view, which is great. Do you and SO have a timeline of when you want to get married?

Post # 7
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@gocubbies: Haha, you don’t really want to be in the higher numbers. lol. But yeah, what makes waiting hard for both me and the mister is that if we were in the same area, we would have been married with a kid by now. But since we’re long distance and both looking for work, that’s just not in the cards right now. The mister is just as torn up about this as I am so yeah, that makes me feel a bit better. lol. 

@Starshollow: something I tell myself a lot is that while I may live at home now, I’ll have plenty of time to live on my own soon enough πŸ™‚ 

Post # 8
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

I absolutely despise not having money or a career, especially when my younger siblings have successful careers.  I’m still in school pursing an advanced degree, and wound up back at my parent’s for a while.  It’s not at all bad, but since SO and I are also in an LDR, I wish I could be living with him since we never get to see each other. 

I just feel like almost every aspect of my life is on hold until I pass a few exams and am able to continue on my career-path. 

@Starshollow:  While I sometimes wish I could be married already, I know that I need to finish what I started and have the career I’ve always wanted.  I think that a part of me would always be missing if I didn’t pursue my dream and am fortunate to have an SO that agrees.

Post # 9
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I LOVE the Fall! It’s my favorite time of the year. Everything so pretty and colourful. It’s the perfect time to go on a hike! It’s also the season of Hallowe’en, which I also love.

I’m hoping that this season brings me something sparkly. It has been three weeks since J put down a deposit on the ring, and I’m really hoping that it lands on my finger soon!! There are only two big events this fall that I could think that he may propose: Thanksgiving (for us Canadian Bee’s), and Hallowe’en. Right now, J seems pretty keen on sticking around here with MY family for thanksgiving (he doesn’t seem to want to visit his, which live 6 hours away. It never stopped us from going in the past though…). Meh, either way, I love the fall!

Gwen

Post # 10
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

I wish autumn was some sort of big deal here like it is for you! I just don’t get it. I have always hated autumn as it means summer is over. The colours are nice but it is cold and sad that it’s getting colder and darker and you can’t do nice summery things you ran out of time to do in summer. I guess that’s just me. But I bet I’d think it was a lovely season if there were any chance this season would bring me something sparkly!

Post # 11
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I LOVE this season too! It’s a nice change to the unbearable heat… Plus the looming holiday season is exciting!

 

@Starshollow:  I know EXACTLY how you feel!  I still live at home, I’m 28.  My boyfriend also lives at home… he’s finishing school.  I graduated from college in 2007, got my teaching cred in 2009… because of severe budget cuts I didn’t even start teaching until last year, I’m on my 2nd year right now.  I just am so grateful I have a job in the career field I LOVE- I got truly, truly lucky.  And now it’s just a waiting game for the rest of my life to start ::sigh:: it is hard though to see those close to us who are younger have what we want, in terms of family, house, marriage, etc… I just try to remember how lucky I am with what I HAVE now πŸ™‚

BTW, I don’t know what state you live in but if you need any advice on Teaching Cred stuff, PM me πŸ™‚ I’d be happy to help!

 

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