Post # 1
I’m gonna throw my backround out there so most of you know where I am coming from. My brother is getting married soon, and my FSIL (the bride) asked me to be in the wedding party sort of an afterthought. I was happy and thought it was a nice gesture. I joined this site mainly because it’s been 10 years since I’ve been in a BP and I wanted to brush up on what to expect, what my responsibilities are, etc. Well, over the past 10 months, I’ve learned what a self-centered bridezilla my FSIL has become. Not only that, but I’ve noticed a good handful of people on here are the same as well…. Since when did weddings become a huge production? And where do these brides get off on having this day built around them, everything has to be perfect, and “look at me”!! Everything at the wedding has to be the biggest, the best, and the most expensive. To me, weddings are to share your love and committment of one another in front of all your loved ones. I don’t get it…. My boyfriend and I are talking about marriage, but this is all putting such a bad taste in my mouth. All I care about is that the guest have good food, great drinks, and even better music- I want everyone to look back and say that was an amazing time! Anyone else feel like this?
Post # 3
@HeatherD16: Maybe it’s because weddings are a legitimate and lucrative market nowadays. I think the attitudes you’re talking about are perpetuated and now seen as the norm largely because of TV shows that emphasize the material aspects of weddings.
I’m not self-centered. But despite that I think if I had a slightly bigger budget I’d be more like the brides you mentioned. I’m a person who can get carried away, it’s easy for me to be influenced by the crowd. So if I were loaded, I’d want my wedding to be lavish because that’s kinda what’s expected today (but I know certain expectations vary from region to region). Even if I had just $5k more to spend, I’d aim for having the best quality whatever, just so I know that my money was well spent, and not wasted.
With that said, however, I do have my priorities. I don’t need a dessert table that’s miles and miles long, I don’t need a photobooth that costs $1k. I’d rather spend the bulk of my money on yummy, but not over-the-top, food. Because that’s where my guests will see that giving them good food means I care and appreciate their presence vs. just showing off and being flashy.
Post # 4
@HeatherD16: I’m a little jealous of the 50K budget (and even more jealous of the unlimited budget) brides.
That being said, we had a FANTASTIC wedding for under 5K, with the 44 people closest to us.
It all depends on what your situation is!
The corollary is that crazy bridezillas are universally awful. Don’t hate the wedding, hate the ‘Zilla!
Post # 5
Post # 6
I think that people have lost the sence of tradition becusae we’ve lost traditional families. Years ago the man’s family took care of the reception dinner, the woman’s the wedding. It all started in a church and moved on to food.
Now, for wrong or right it’s about the bride and groom, not about family. They often end up paying the bulk. The woman who has to take on everything in the workplace is expected to graciously figure EVERYTHING out and then also take into account the feeling of not only her future hubs, but of parents, friends and relatives.
I think that some of this is trying to make up for what was lots in traditional family. Women trying to recreate the close relationships that should of been there to begin with.
Post # 7
@searock: Very good observation; I come from an Italian-American family, so close family ties are still very prevalent for me. I guess that also plays a roll into my feelings towards weddings!