Post # 1
I’m having one of those weeks where I just don’t really want to socialise.
- I’m heartbroken and feel helpless because I feel as though I’m watching one of my brother’s marriages (and world) fall apart and there’s nothing I can do to help.
- I’m upset and disappointed because SO didn’t ask for my dad’s permission to propose, even though he knew both my dad and I were expecting him to do so. I know SO had his reasons for not asking my dad this past weekend, and I told him I understood, which I do, but I’m still left with a sense of disappointment.
- I’m frustrated that it’s taking so long for me to find part time work. I have bills to pay, including my car rego and insurance this month and am extremely lucky that SO is happy to cover it for me until I can pay him back. But that just means that money that is going to my car, is money that isn’t going into the house to make it cat friendly, which means it’s going to be a longer wait for me to move into SO’s place.
Now I’m being pushed to my limit of “just smile and nod and be nice”. SO rents a room in his house to his Step-Brother. SB has the week off work. SB’s gf has decided that she’s going to live at there apparently because she’s put all her things in the bathroom; her brush is on the vanity and her toothbrush is in one of the toothbrush holders. – MY toothbrush is still in it’s travel case and I’M the one that is supposed to be moving in, plus I keep my hair brush and hair dryer in the bedroom! She’s been at the house for 3 days straight (doesn’t pay to help with food or anything), and won’t say a word to SO or I unless we happen to bump into as she’s going to the loo, which has been fine by me, but SO finds it rude, it’s his house and she won’t even speak to him. She parks on the front lawn like a moron, making it so no other car can get past hers, she honestly doesn’t know how to park and it drives me nuts. SO has his car, plus I have mine and she manages takes up the entire lawn with her ONE small car.
I’ve said that I’m not in a social mood because I’m emotional about the situation with my cat and her response was “it’s just a cat, god.” BITCH I WILL STAB YOU – is what wanted to come out of my mouth, but somehow I managed to just walk away and mumble “righto”. She knows I’m an animal person. She knows I start studying Animal Studies next week. And she says “it’s just a cat, god.” to me?! She’s from a different culture and not an animal person (her words, not mine) and finds it disgusting that we allow our dogs inside when it’s cold, or I’m home alone and want some company in the house. Well isn’t she gonna be shocked when I bring puppy in tonight for a bath in the tub SHE uses to shower in. Because she’s not an animal person, SB doesn’t check on the dogs and make sure that they have water during the day, while SO is at work and I’ve been on job interviews and job hunting all week. Ok, it’s winter here, but our puppy has been playing in the water and emptying the bowl cause she’s a goose, so it needs to be checked and SB knows this.
SB is constantly telling me that every second day this girl is asking where her engagement ring is, when is she going to get it, how much is he going to spend etc. They’ve been together for about 13 months, he’s 29 and she’s 25. SO has told him he does not want his gf to move in there, the house is quite small, there just wouldn’t be enough room, but I feel like she’s doing it anyway.
AND YES! – I know I’m being irrational because I’m in a mood.
But how long do you think we should let her keep getting away with this behaviour before we stop being worried of upsetting her and/or SB and say something and stand up for ourselves, our (well almost my) home and our pets??
Post # 3
@krayzay87: I’d have told her where to go right then and there, but then I have very little patience with people who don’t show any respect for others.
I don’t think you’re being irrational at all. I’d speak with your SO and see how he feels about it all. Then it’s time for a nice, direct chat that leaves no room for misinterpretation regarding boundaries, etiquette and financial contribution. If she doesn’t like it, no one is forcing her to stay.
Post # 4
Get your SO on board and DO NOT let her move in. Tell the step brother that he is the one renting the room, and his girlfriend cannot live there too. She needs to take her crap back to wherever the hell she lives and leave it there.
I’m an animal person. I don’t have time in my life to deal with “non-animal people” and certainly will not put up with them being in my home.
Does your SO need the income from his SB renting the room, or are you two ok with him moving out? If you can do without him, I say let him take the nasty bitch and leave.
Post # 5
I know some people just don’t ‘do’ animals BUT it’s not as if it’s her house so she doesn’t have any say. That’s also something I tend to clash on with people (I’m a huge animal person too). If she can’t be nice enough to say hi or fill the dog’s water when she isn’t even paying rent, I’d be speaking up now. If she’s staying over so much that’s she’s even there by herself during the day she should start playing rent. Especially if there’s nothing else that she’s helping out with.
Post # 6
@Demi-chan: @strawbabies: @Dogsbody92: Thanks!
I totally should have just told her then and there and put her in her place. SO agrees with me that she’s over stepping her boundaries, and in a sense over staying her welcome, but he doesn’t like confrontation so getting him to sit down with me to have a discussion with them is a bit hard. We feel like her staying for more than 2 nights in one week is a bit much. I mean when you think about it, 3 nights is half the week, y’know. But yeh as I said, SO has already told SB that he doesn’t want his gf to move in because the house itself is too small. Example: Our kitchen is about 1.5m by 1.5m lol. It’s tiny!
I also think it’s completely rude of her to take it upon herself to start placing her things in the bathroom, a common space, especially when a female that IS moving in hasn’t even done it yet. My uncle thinks this is hilarious and that I’m being ‘territorial’ and maybe I am, but I still think it’s rude lol. I also find her comments on our animals rude. She’s called the dogs dumb, to our faces, and I had to place a gentle arm on SO’s forearm to calm him down, cause I could see it pissed him off. I’m half hoping that once my cats move in, she won’t come around much because my cats are INDOOR cats, no if, buts or maybes about it. I may let my male cat outside in hopes it’ll settle his agression, but I won’t be letting my little princess kitty out side of the cat enclosure or the back yard.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
If someone said that to me about my cats, I don’t know what I would do. They are my babies! I’m sorry that you’ve been having a rough time with everything.
Post # 9
Just going to say it:
I hope the animals pee on all of her bathroom stuff.
Post # 10
@CakeyP: Lol thank you for the much needed laugh!
Post # 11
@missmorganista: Thanks. My animals are my babies too. Our puppy is a pure white husky and SB’s gf won’t even pat her. She just looks at her with her nose turned up. What I find entertaining is that SB thinks that once he and her move out (if it gets to that…) that he’s going to get a dog of his own. Yeeeeeeeh not going to happen. I repeat, she won’t even PAT our gorgeous, fluffy, white husky puppy.
Post # 12
Oh, I would have said something snarky back to her! If I were more bold I’d have punched her and said “it’s just a nose” but I’ve never physically harmed somebody before so I wouldn’t start over something so small haha, but I’d WANT to…I MAY say “well then you may as well leave since this isn’t your home and you don’t NEED to be with your boyfriend, he’s just a person”
Post # 13
@krayzay87: *HUGS* You have the patience of a saint. I’d probably end up pouring cyanide in her shampoo if I had to deal with your SO’s brother’s girlfriend.
Post # 14
It’s not so much that she doesn’t like animals and won’t interact with them. Her choice, her loss. But to be so openly disrespectful of your feelings? To her, it may just be a cat, but if she had any level of empathy, she’d realise that saying something like that to you is incredibly disrespectful.
I’d also be worried about bringing an indoor cat into this situation, purely because a person who says something like this won’t see letting it out or leaving a window open as a big deal.
Post # 15
@Idunn: thats a scary thought!
Id definitely try and get her out of the house (especially when noone else is around) before your cats move in. If she takes offence to something you do/say or is annoyed by your cats then it’s entirely possible she would do something as payback.
I wouldn’t leave my cat with anyone other than my parents because I know some people don’t always understand indoor cats. So even if it’s not an intentionally nasty action, it could still happen.
Post # 16
Ok, so I just had a shower and went to get a cotton bud thingy out of the drawers and found a bunch of her pads. I know they’re hers because I don’t use pads and keep my tampons in my bedroom, and also because I went through the drawers a few weeks ago for SO because he asked me to clean the bathroom. So I’m now SUPER pissed. UGH!!
@Idunn: @Dogsbody92: I completely understand what you’re saying. She, THANKFULLY, doesn’t have keys to the house and I think I’m going to talk to SO about saying to SB that she can’t be here when he’s not home. There’s no need for her to be here when he’s not here. Most of our windows have fly screens on them, but I am worried the cats are going to try to get out the front door. If they get out the back they’ll be met by our two dogs and more than likely run back inside, so that’s not getting to me as much as the front door.