@AquaGrey8962: aww hun i feel so bad you should be happy on your Bday. what did your SO get you?
@AquaGrey8962: Happy birthday! I'm sorry things aren't going well for you. Getting your own things going on in your life will definitely help. It will give you a sense of self, purpose and accomplishment outside of the relationship. And it will show your SO that you don't "need him" and aren't at his beck and call. That being said, I'm sorry that you're going through this. I've been there with a previous relationship and it's really tough. But at least you're considering making your own life fuller and busier and you tried to be intimate with him. It sounds like you're putting effort in.
(( HUGS ))
Cause it doesn't sound like this Birthday is going 100% as you would wish for
Birthdays sometimes help us to see things differently...
Holy Sh!t Batman I'm x years old... what the F have I been doing with my life ?
Sounds like that is part of what you are going thru tonight...
I wouldn't plan to leave him just yet... I mean things might look a whole lot different to you a week from now when you aren't feeling quite so melancholy.
BUT there is nothing wrong with using a Birthday to write out a New LIFE PLAN... set some goals... (get some new hobbies, meet some different people, visit that GF in NYCity this year ?)
And ya know what, if you do, you'll no doubt feel better about yourself... and your confidence will rise
BF will probably notice too...
Can't tell you that it'll change anything in your relationship... but he'll probably notice.
This time next year, you could be on your way to a whole new exciting journey of self discovery... school, job, new interests, new friends, etc. (with or without him... really the choice can be yours ... or his, if he doesn't step up to the plate to make things better for you... then the writing could be on the wall)
Whatever happens, you ARE AN AWESOME PERSON... and life will work out for you if you have a plan for what you want out of it... and don't just leave it up to random choice...
You can be whatever your heart strives for !!
--- --- ---
And on that note...
♥ Happy Birthday to you… ♥
Under appreciated! Thats what's happening. He is taking all the wonderful things you do for granted. So go on a vacation or leave him on his own for awhile. Let him see how things pile up when you are not there. You are not his mother... plus he should even treat his mother like that! Hopefully your birthday turns around and you can find something good to focus on. Take a day completely to yourself, get a massage or your nails done! Short on cash? Sneak into a hotel and sit in the hot tub. :) Take care!!!
Happy birthday sweetie! YOU are not alone. I have the same feeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm not living my life it's more like I'm living his. You know what helps me? I just get all dolled up and pamper myself. I get my nails done get a pedicure the works. This would be a perfect time for you to do it. It's your birthday and with all the things you do you deserve it!
Keep your head up. Also, talk to your FI he needs to know how you are feeling. He needs to do more for you, give you some attention. But sometimes with men you have to actually tell them, even though in some situations it's common sense and you shouldn't have to they still some how need to be told.
Hope your day gets better :)
Happy birthday! I was kinda in the same place a couple years ago, I just was stick in a rut. Sign up for school, get a part time job, volunteer, meet new friends .. It'll get better
I would so take you out for colorful drinks and to get our nails done and watch a chick flick if I were there! I only am annoyed with this waiting business, but otherwise nothing else. How old are both of you?
Happy Birthday! Give yourself a present and start making yourself a priority! You can change things in your life if you want to! One small step at a time.
@trueblue14: Thank you, I am trying :)
@MariaW: I'm turning 28, and he's 31. I feel like it's too late for me to make something of myself.. but I'm still going to try.
@lovin_iswhatigot: I've told him things before... he ends up feeling horrible and blaming himself, which just makes me feel like a b*tch for complaining about it. I just have to change myself.
@Miss2Mrs_Beerlover: I've gone away on vacation before. I left for 2 weeks to visit my sister. He said he had a really hard time sleeping without me, which is nice. But nothing else changed. I haven't left in a year though, so it might be time to do that again.
Happy birthday! Don't compare yourself to others. People tend to only share part of their situation. Hopefully he stops taking you for granted, if not chuck the dueces and find someone who treats you like gold!
Happy Birthday! Stop by and I'll share my box of wine with you. :)
I don't have many (any) friends here. But, I do alright, I guess. I like to go shopping alone, and buy whatever the eff I want. Or go get my nails done and just sit there. In silence. Ah. Buy yourself a new hairdo while you're at it. I'm a redhead now, I love it.
I like to crochet. It's an old-lady habit, but I love to make cute little things. I have friends and family with kids now that I make stuff for. Otherwise, donate it. People always need hats and blankets.
When I turned 21, I sat in my dorm room and cried all day. My asshole boyfriend didn't call to say happy birthday until way later in the day, and sent his little brother over with $10 worth of grocery store flowers. Didn't help. I went out drinking with one of my friends and it was hardly fun.
Anycase, I've survived 11 years (crap, just turned 32) past that. Had a fight with my husband about me not wanting to plan my own birthday trip just this past weekend. :) Hang in there!
@AquaGrey8962: I think you need to focus more on yourself, and make a list of all the things that make you an amazing person. No 28 year old should ever feel like it is too late to make something of themselves, and you definitely need to do something for you. Stop babysitting him so much and doing everything for him. Sign up for a yoga class, take a writing class, go on a long run, something/anything that can be just yours! I might be reading too much into this but you don't sound like someone whose SO makes them feel special, and you don't even sound like you think you're special. What are your hopes? What are your dreams? If you could do/be anything what would that be? Don't forget who you are!
Happy birthday!
Treat yourself to a manicure, massage, or a fun new haircut this weekend.
Think about what kind of activities you like, and see if there are any classes or groups in your area. Try meetup.com, its a great way to meet likeminded friends who you can get together with about any topic from books to tennis. It's really a great resource.
Can you sign yourself up for some out of the house activities for your birthday? Whatever you're into... dance lessons are good, since lots of people come as singletons and then rotate through partners. Painting classes, cooking lessons, even just a weekly knitting meetup or something at a coffee shop, if you don't have the cash to sign up for organized programs. It seems like it would be really good for you to have a night or two out of the house every week socializing with other people.
Personally, the way you describe your relationship, I would be looking towards getting out. 6 years isn't that long compared to the rest of your life. You're annoyed now - imagine how much more annoyed you'll be when you've been living like this for 10 times as long... Life's too short. If you're still invested, I would ask him to try counseling with you. If not, start setting things up so that you have the option to get out on your own.
@AquaGrey8962: Honey, 28 is NOT too late! I went back to college at age 30 and I started at a local community college. I am now a biologist and college professor!
Happy Birthday 
!!
My SO and I have been together for 6 years also and I can tell you there are days where I want to throw something at his head.. and he has those days too! We are far from perfect! I highly doubt that any of the people on this site have a perfect relationship.. I don't think they exist.. you have good days and then you have bad days!
Maybe talk to your SO and let him know that you are starting to feel more like his mother than his partner and you would like things to change, you want to feel like a team!! Maybe start small and have a night where you both cook dinner together and make it fun? On weekends SO and I usually make Nachos/Tacos together with some music playing and some drinks and then we sit down watch a movie and its great!
I hope your day gets better, no one should feel sad on their birthday!! **hugs**!!!!
@AquaGrey8962: Happy Birthday!
I am sorry you're feeling like this, especially on your birthday :(
to answer your question about relationships - I am happy with my SO most of the time - even if we argue or are going through a rough time, I still don't doubt my love for him. Of course he does things that annoy me, as I do things that annoy him because let's face it - no one is perfect!
I had been in a relationship for 5 years, and that was really different. Different in that, I was the one making all of the effort for him, we didn't live together. He always pressured me for sex. On weekends, he'd decide instead of seeing me, he would get drunk with his dad's friends - I'm talking, I'm ready to go over to his place and he calls me shortly before I'm meant to go there and he decides not to have me come over. Most weekends i spent crying, and hanging out with my parents. Fact is, the guy made me miserable, but I was in denial. It was my first relationship so I had nothing to compare it to, although I know it didn't seem right. You just get that gut feeling - this isn't right. I remember driving along, listening to the radio one night and they were talking about divorce - some people called in and said 'I knew it wouldn't work before we even got married', and it hit me that I felt exactly the same. So I think that if your relationship isn't right for you, you know this deep down (not saying that's the case for you). I've been with my current SO for 5 years, and had our ups and downs but still, he makes me feel special and important and looks after me, and we go well together.
You do need to get out - find something you enjoy doing - anything - swimming, gym, yoga, cooking class, art/craft classes - anything you're interested in. It give you a chance to get out and be around other people. it might make the world of difference. Once you get out there, your confidence will start to grow. Even with your friend tht lives away - why not start writing letters? It's something that people don't do enough of these days, and it is so nice to get a handwritten letter in the mail.
Gordon Livingstone (psychologist) write in one of his books 'to be happy, you need 3 things in life - something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love'. Work and my hobbies give me something to do, my one night a week trip to the cinema gives me something to look forward to, and I have plenty of people to love - my family, my SO, pets.
So get out there girl! If you can't afford to do any classes, just get out and go for a walk/run. I run in the morning as the sun is rising, and it's so beautiful. I know the sun rises everyday, but there's something about seeing it that feels so good for the soul. I recommend it.
I hope you're feeling better xx
Happy belated birthday! I'm here if you want to chat, about anything. not trying to be creepy, just reaching out to a fellow Bee =)
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Today is my birthday... and I feel so alone.
I don't feel like my boyfriend is my "best friend." I feel annoyed, being with him. I have to do EVERYTHING for him. I manage our bills (we share our incomes, but I'm the "accountant,") I take our car into the shop when it breaks down, I call the landlord when something in the apartment breaks, I cook dinner EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... I feel like I'm his mom.
I look at some of the threads on here of other couples, and I don't know if I have what you all have. I look at those pictuers and wonder how often you all are happy. 100% of the time? Do you ever get annoyed with your SO? Fed up? Angry?
I feel angry and fed up most of the time. But we've been together for 6 years.
We tried having sex tonight.
TRIED.
He just "wasn't into it" because he was "tired."
I NEED TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITHOUT HIM.
I don't currently work, OR go to school. I'm hopefully going to school in the fall... but I just need something separate from him. I need my own confidence, my own sh*t going on. Because right now, I have nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I have no identity. Nothing to work toward. Nothing to strive for. I'm ALWAYS here when he comes home from work. I'm just ALWAYS here. I NEED to become more mysterious and on my own.
I have no friends to talk to about this. All of my friends, are his.. and they're jerks. My best friend lives back in NY, but I don't get to talk to her much.
I'm just so confused, and depressed.
Happy birthday, to me.