- 5 years ago
Today is my birthday… and I feel so alone.
I don’t feel like my boyfriend is my “best friend.” I feel annoyed, being with him. I have to do EVERYTHING for him. I manage our bills (we share our incomes, but I’m the “accountant,”) I take our car into the shop when it breaks down, I call the landlord when something in the apartment breaks, I cook dinner EVERY SINGLE NIGHT… I feel like I’m his mom.
I look at some of the threads on here of other couples, and I don’t know if I have what you all have. I look at those pictuers and wonder how often you all are happy. 100% of the time? Do you ever get annoyed with your SO? Fed up? Angry?
I feel angry and fed up most of the time. But we’ve been together for 6 years.
We tried having sex tonight.
He just “wasn’t into it” because he was “tired.”
I NEED TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITHOUT HIM.
I don’t currently work, OR go to school. I’m hopefully going to school in the fall… but I just need something separate from him. I need my own confidence, my own sh*t going on. Because right now, I have nothing.
I have no identity. Nothing to work toward. Nothing to strive for. I’m ALWAYS here when he comes home from work. I’m just ALWAYS here. I NEED to become more mysterious and on my own.
I have no friends to talk to about this. All of my friends, are his.. and they’re jerks. My best friend lives back in NY, but I don’t get to talk to her much.
I’m just so confused, and depressed.
Happy birthday, to me.