It's my birthday, and I need a friend :(

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

@AquaGrey8962:  Happy birthday! I’m sorry things aren’t going well for you. Getting your own things going on in your life will definitely help. It will give you a sense of self, purpose and accomplishment outside of the relationship. And it will show your SO that you don’t “need him” and aren’t at his beck and call. That being said, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I’ve been there with a previous relationship and it’s really tough. But at least you’re considering making your own life fuller and busier and you tried to be intimate with him. It sounds like you’re putting effort in.

Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

(( HUGS ))

Cause it doesn’t sound like this Birthday is going 100% as you would wish for

Birthdays sometimes help us to see things differently…

Holy Sh!t Batman I’m x years old… what the F have I been doing with my life ?

Sounds like that is part of what you are going thru tonight…

I wouldn’t plan to leave him just yet… I mean things might look a whole lot different to you a week from now when you aren’t feeling quite so melancholy.

BUT there is nothing wrong with using a Birthday to write out a New LIFE PLAN… set some goals… (get some new hobbies, meet some different people, visit that GF in NYCity this year ?)

And ya know what, if you do, you’ll no doubt feel better about yourself… and your confidence will rise

BF will probably notice too…

Can’t tell you that it’ll change anything in your relationship… but he’ll probably notice.

This time next year, you could be on your way to a whole new exciting journey of self discovery… school, job, new interests, new friends, etc. (with or without him… really the choice can be yours … or his, if he doesn’t step up to the plate to make things better for you… then the writing could be on the wall)

Whatever happens, you ARE AN AWESOME PERSON… and life will work out for you if you have a plan for what you want out of it… and don’t just leave it up to random choice…

You can be whatever your heart strives for !!

— — —

And on that note…

♥ Happy Birthday to you… ♥

 

 

Member
317 posts
Helper bee

Under appreciated!  Thats what’s happening.  He is taking all the wonderful things you do for granted.  So go on a vacation or leave him on his own for awhile.  Let him see how things pile up when you are not there.  You are not his mother… plus he should even treat his mother like that!  Hopefully your birthday turns around and you can find something good to focus on.  Take a day completely to yourself, get a massage or your nails done!  Short on cash? Sneak into a hotel and sit in the hot tub.  :) Take care!!! 

 

Member
231 posts
Helper bee

Happy birthday sweetie! YOU are not alone. I have the same feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m not living my life it’s more like I’m living his. You know what helps me? I just get all dolled up and pamper myself. I get my nails done get a pedicure the works. This would be a perfect time for you to do it. It’s your birthday and with all the things you do you deserve it!

Keep your head up. Also, talk to your FI he needs to know how you are feeling. He needs to do more for you, give you some attention. But sometimes with men you have to actually tell them, even though in some situations it’s common sense and you shouldn’t have to they still some how need to be told.

Hope your day gets better :)  

Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

Happy birthday! I was kinda in the same place a couple years ago, I just was stick in a rut. Sign up for school, get a part time job, volunteer, meet new friends .. It’ll get better 

Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee

I would so take you out for colorful drinks and to get our nails done and watch a chick flick if I were there! I only am annoyed with this waiting business, but otherwise nothing else. How old are both of you?

Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee

Happy Birthday! Give yourself a present and start making yourself a priority! You can change things in your life if you want to! One small step at a time.

 

 

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

Happy birthday! Don’t compare yourself to others. People tend to only share part of their situation. Hopefully he stops taking you for granted, if not chuck the dueces and find someone who treats you like gold!

Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee

Happy Birthday!  Stop by and I’ll share my box of wine with you.  :)  

I don’t have many (any) friends here.  But, I do alright, I guess.  I like to go shopping alone, and buy whatever the eff I want.  Or go get my nails done and just sit there.  In silence.  Ah.  Buy yourself a new hairdo while you’re at it.  I’m a redhead now, I love it. 

I like to crochet.  It’s an old-lady habit, but I love to make cute little things. I have friends and family with kids now that I make stuff for.  Otherwise, donate it.  People always need hats and blankets. 

When I turned 21, I sat in my dorm room and cried all day.  My asshole boyfriend didn’t call to say happy birthday until way later in the day, and sent his little brother over with $10 worth of grocery store flowers.  Didn’t help.  I went out drinking with one of my friends and it was hardly fun.

Anycase, I’ve survived 11 years (crap, just turned 32) past that.  Had a fight with my husband about me not wanting to plan my own birthday trip just this past weekend.  :)   Hang in there! 

Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee

@AquaGrey8962:  I think you need to focus more on yourself, and make a list of all the things that make you an amazing person. No 28 year old should ever feel like it is too late to make something of themselves, and you definitely need to do something for you. Stop babysitting him so much and doing everything for him. Sign up for a yoga class, take a writing class, go on a long run, something/anything that can be just yours! I might be reading too much into this but you don’t sound like someone whose SO makes them feel special, and you don’t even sound like you think you’re special. What are your hopes? What are your dreams? If you could do/be anything what would that be? Don’t forget who you are!

Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee

Happy birthday!

Treat yourself to a manicure, massage, or a fun new haircut this weekend.

Think about what kind of activities you like, and see if there are any classes or groups in your area. Try meetup.com, its a great way to meet likeminded friends who you can get together with about any topic from books to tennis. It’s really a great resource.

 

 

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