Post # 1
For those of you who have read previous posts of mine, I have made a huge mistake. My FI and I were going through a rough time with buying our house and planning our wedding. On top of that, we were overly concerned with how the relationship between my FMIL and I was progressing (she doesnt like me, never has) so we neglected each other. He sought refuge in video games and talking on the phone to “friends” and I began to sext (childish I know) a couple of guys I met while out with girlfriends. I have been agonizing over it ever since he found out, and he hasnt let a day go by to let me forget it. We’re currently in counseling and are trying to make it work because we love each other and want to be together.
Long story short, today is my birthday and friends on FB are saying nice things. When it was a friends birthday a few months ago FMIL posted something like “Happy birthday may god bless you on this day, i love you” and this is just a friend the FI and I have. But today on my wall on FB, FMIL posts “Happy birthday” Come to find out, FI told her “something happened [between us] and I’m hurt” and so she’s upset with me. So she is telling him to leave me, it will never work out, I am a receiver not a giver, etc and he never told her the whole story!
I know I hurt him, and we have been working on it. But why does she feel the need to intervene? When he has hurt me, my family didnt start treating him differently and they let me handle the issue all on our own. Now she wants to fight the battles. And what kills me, is that he was always telling me that I had to make things right between FMIL and me. He doesnt see that she is burning the bridge a little bit harder than me. Our problem for so long was that he wanted me to be besties with her, but since I was taking away he baby boy (did I mention she doesnt have a man?) she never liked me. And she is one of those judgemental people who believes their sh*t doesnt stink and she’s always right. So now I am crying because my relationship is now suffering because of me and my FMIL. I turned 25 today and I should feel great, but all I want to do is crawl into a hole and not come out.
Post # 3
First, happy birthday! I’ll just point out real quick that facebook is evil. I think you are putting too much emphasis on fb comments.
Your FI shouldn’t really be telling his mother your business, especially if he knows she reacts this way. Any parent who feels that their child has been wronged by their SO is going to take their child’s side. It’s human nature. Your FI is letting his mother intervene and insisting you have a good relationship with her. This is not you FMIL’s fault… it is your FI’s fault. FMIL is entitled to her opinion about you… what is bad is that your FI won’t stand up to her and establish boundaries.
Post # 4
Sorry you are unhappy, but I think you might be reading too much into FB comments. I make all different kinds of statements depending on my mood or how much time I have.
I hope things do get better with your FMIL and wish you a really happy birthday.
Post # 5
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Go get yourself some ice cream, you deserve it!
Second, I think you need to talk to FI about not telling his momma everything. This was a really hard one for DH and I, too. He tells (told) his mom EVERYTHING. Finally I just had to say something like “Honey, if we are going to be a couple, you can’t run to your momma every time I upset you. You need to talk to me about it, so we can work it out as a COUPLE.” 3 people does not equal a couple. 🙂
Post # 6
I agree with the other posters, what has happened is now in the past. The two of you have both messed up, and the two of you together can work on getting back to where you need to be. It isn’t up to his mom to make you feel worse, as you already feel bad enough with what has happened. I think FB can really mess with people, and sometimes you can read too much into something. But he really needs to not go to her for all of the problems, he needs to sit down and talk to you. Communication is key to your relationship.
Post # 8
Happy Belated Birthday.
@angela83 I agree, facebook is the devil I’ve always said.
Sit down have a talk with him. Explain to him that that isn’t the best way in moving forward with your future.