It's my hubby's bday, and he's being a bum…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1719 posts
Bumble bee

Heh — I know you’re not looking for advice, but maybe you should just give the guy a break.

It sounds like he’s not sure how he’s feeling about this birthday. You could let him know you’re ready to celebrate his birthday when and how he wants to and then let him tell you when he’s ready. 


Post # 5
15019 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

DH gets that same way about Christmas, so I sympathize.

Post # 6
1719 posts
Bumble bee

@urchin:  Oh, you’re not a bad wife at all, as far as I can tell.

It’s sweet that you’re so eager to celebrate this birthday with him and make it special. It’s always nice to see someone doing that for their spouse. 

Happy birthday to your husband. I hope it’s a good one. 

Post # 7
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Aww that’s a shame. Especially the response to your song dedication! Bummer 🙁

Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@urchin:  Lol you’re not a bad wife. I think it is great to want to do all this stuff, but I get where he is coming from. Oh my b-day I don’t want anything other than to have it treated like another day because it isn’t super important to me. Perhaps your DH feels the same?

Post # 9
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I feel your pain!  DH never wants to do anything for his birthday, either.  I usually try to nudge him into going out with our parents or friends, but he never seems to enjoy it.  He turned the big 3-0 this year, and I asked for months what he wanted to do.  What he wanted was to do the same thing we do every weekend: stay at home on our computers.  So, that’s what we did.  I made him the cake he wanted we stayed at home, just the two of us, and he was happy.

I think part of it in DH’s case is that birthdays weren’t a big deal in his family like they were in mine.  His dad was out of town for a Fantasy Football draft on his birthday last year, and he wasn’t bothered by it.  On the other hand, if MY dad prioritized FF over my birthday, I would be incredibly hurt!

Is it possible he’s just in a situation like my DH, where he isn’t big on birthday celebrations, and basically sees it as just another day?  Or do you think there might be more to it?

Post # 10
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@urchin:  I totally understand! DH still pouts because he slept through his birthday dinner when he was 15 and ate it after his family ate. Long story, he had just come back from camp and they thought they were being nice by letting him sleep. Anyway, he says his birthday is ruined forevery and won’t let me do anything. I feel like the hugest loser every year!!!

Post # 13
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

He seems bummed for some reason. Scorpios tend to say they don’t want anything for their birthdays, but you have to get them things anyway. I am baking a cake today and cupcakes too, for FH’s b-day. If I were you I would go get the pie and cook his favorite dinner for him. Don’t ask, just do. 

Post # 14
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@urchin:  My husband is the same way.  I resort to things like “I made you a birthday cake.  You are going to eat it and you are going to like it goddamnit!”

Post # 15
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d make him the pie, anyway!

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