(Closed) Its not even booked and its a disaster..

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i’m pretty much in the same situation. such a shame. I keep saying to my fiance – its just not fair.  Everyone (mostly mothers) are upset because thats not the kind of wedding they want. Destination leaves so many people out (which is exactly why I want to have one). So, we’re thinking of just eloping. If these people can’t do anything but complain, then I don’t want them there anyways.

 

Just my thoughts. Such a crappy situation. 

Post # 4
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re not selfish. You just decided on a plan that isn’t going to work with many of your family members. 

1. Your sister-in-law: Why not invite them? If they can afford to bring their children alone and promise to watch them, they should have to suck it up and pay the price. We’re kids only as well, but I am making special adjustments for nieces and nephews because I consider them immediate family members. 

2. IL- Obviously, inviting the kids would solve this issue. Sometimes you just have to compromise. 

3. Grandparents- First time flying can be horrible, especially overseas or international. Set up skype, have a family member videotape it, and let them watch it from home. Unless they travel much (which it sounds like they dont), traveling overseas can be a huge hassle. 

4. Mom- Offer to find them a house sitter for the cats and home? If they are gone for three days, that wouldn’t be too expensive for a cousin or aunt or uncle to handle. 

5. Offer your sister a plus one and let her know that she can invite a friend. She’ll probably come around. Just because she’s going against it now doesn’t mean she wont change her mind as the date gets closer. 

Post # 5
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Wow, it sounds like these people don’t want to go to YOUR wedding, they want to have it for themselves. If I were you, I would have the wedding but plan it as an elopement and if they want to come, they will come. If not it will be the people who have your best interests at heart- you and your FH. It’s not the most convenient for THEM so they want you to change your mind. If you stick to their guns they might still come because they would rather do something inconvenient than miss the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

*hugs hugs*  Sorry to hear of your wedding stress! 

I can see both sides tho.  DW’s are expensive and travelling can be really hard on older people.  Hell, i’m only 30 and I hate flying. I *always* get sick from flying.  Also, it’s hard to just leave the kids and pets behind. There’s such a big different between just driving to a location for a day vs. going on a minivacation.  

Maybe you guys could do a nice elopement, just the two of you, and then have a small reception when you return?

Post # 7
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m really sorry they reacted this way. But honestly, that’s kind of how I feel about DW. I would never THINK of telling the bride that, but every time someone close to me tells me they are having one, I secretly groan inside. Mostly it’s because I hate flying, once got bilked out of $500 by a rent-a-car company because of a DW, and get very few days off (and like to spend them catching up on sleep and cleaning, as lame as that sounds). It doesn’t help that they’re usually quite costly, and I don’t make all that much to begin with.

To be fair to them, it can be a pretty big inconvenience, both financially and time-and-effort-wise. To be fair to you, though,  it’s incredibly rude that they aren’t just putting up and shutting up, which is really what you should do when the bride is someone close to you, because I am sure that’s what you’ve done for every one of their weddings. Everyone deserves to have her day the way she wants it, and if someone doesn’t like it or can’t swing it, the appropriate thing to do is to bow out gracefully, rather than trying to get you to change your plans. That’s so selfish!

Also to be fair to you (and everyone else having DW) I usually end up not only going, but also enjoying myself. It’s just usually a pretty exhausting and expensive process, especially as my company doesn’t like it when I take more than two days off in a row, since there’s only one other guy in the whole company who can do my job.

 

Is there maybe a similar place you could have it closer to home? I know some people where I am have a “destination wedding” in Eureeka Springs, Arkansas or Branson, Missouri, which are just a few hours’ drive away. It gives the feel and intimacy of a DW, but no one would have to necessarily fly or take off work.

Post # 8
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

f- that noise! So sorry everyone’s raining on your parade.  If a beach wedding is what you want, go for it! If they can’t come, oh well you guys will have a lovely time without them! If a wedding with family is what you want then I’m afraid you may have to compromis and hold it closer to home.  

Post # 10
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

…  When people say things like that, and only think of how inconvienced they are going to be, it hurts. If no one else is going to think of you first, that only leaves you to do it for yourself!!

Do what you want and the people who can come will…  you will be married to your wonderful husband in the place you want!!

Post # 11
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am so sorry things are falling apart before they even begin!  Have you thought about eloping?  You could always do what you and FI want, just the two of you, and then have a reception back home with your family.  That way you could avoid the wedding drama but you still get to have a get together to celebrate your marriage.

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