- 3 years ago
I’m going to write this in two ways. The first is the short version.
When I go on vacation, I like to relax and experience the world around me. I like to be comfortable and soak everything in.
When he goes on vacation, it’s like he’s ticking off boxes, gaining bragging rights, and doesn’t care about comfort or experiences.
Now here is the longer version
Our last 5 vacations we have been on, all in Europe (in the middle of winter or early spring) have been M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E.
What I mean by miserable is that we fly in on an early Saturday flight, let’s say the plane departs at 6:00am. This means gates close at 5:30am. This means we have to be at the airport by 4:30am. This means we have to get to the train station by 3:30am. This means we have to wake up at 2:30am.
So… waking up at 2:30am stresses me out, I don’t sleep at all. Once we arrive at our destination, we drop off our bags at our hotel and immediately start “checking off items.” THis means going to every sight and seeing every church/cathedral/famous landmark as fast as possible. We go to bed at midnight, wake up at 7:00am the next morning to do it all over again, and we leave on a midnight plane ride back home on Sunday (the day after we’ve arrived).
To put it in perspective- we live in London so flights are only about 1-3 hours at most. We would never take the train anywhere because the train is usually 4x the price for some unknown reason.
I’ve explained to him several times that I love to travel, but I need to be able to relax. We usually walk between 12-15 miles per day, and while I’m in decent shape, I am not made to walk this much. (Read bunions, botched ACL replacement, slipped disc in back).
He wants to plan another vacation before we move back to the states, but I keep telling him I don’t want to do it because it is too stressful. I don’t enjoy the trips at all because not only am I sleep deprived, I am physically exhausted by them.
If I planned the trip, we would have more than 1.5 days. We would have 4-5 days, we would see 2 or 3 sights per day, and we would spend time relaxing, eating, and drinking. He thinks this is completely boring. It’s not even like I’ve demanded to go on a vacation where I sit on the beach and tan for a week, I am simply asking to SLOW DOWN.
In his mind, I hate to travel, but I really don’t, I hate the way HE travels.
I’m not sure what to do. It’s been 4 years of dating and 4 years of traveling together and he has still not made any concessions.
I have even completely booked a vacation by myself and planned it out day by day and he still “ruins it” by forcing more and more “activities” into it. By activities I mean he will find more cathedrals or castles or something that weren’t on my list so that we aren’t “wasting time” by relaxing.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just there to take pictures of him next to famous buildings so that he can put them on Facebook to show people how well traveled he is.