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Just wanted to let you girls know that Mr. Fish got sworn in to the United States Marine Corps today. I am BEYOND proud of him- he scored a 90 on his ASVAB (the next closest person in his group scored an 83). And even though it's going to be unimaginably hard on us and his family, he's finally following his dreams.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how important it is to live a life with no regrets, and how hard it is to actually do that. But he's taking the steps to lead the life that will make him happy and fulfilled, and it gives me a whole new reason to love him. It's inspiring.
I've had a hard time dealing with this over the past week or so, but now that it's official, my fear and uncertainty are completely overshadowed by pride and love and happiness. We are about to embark on a journey that is going to make us appreciate each other in a whole new way. I'm going to be the wife of a Marine. And I'm excited.
I know that I'm probably going to have multiple breakdowns over this in days and weeks and years to come. I'm probably going to hate the Marine Corps and be extremely pissed that his lifelong dream keeps him away from me for such long periods of time.
And when that happens, I'll come back and read this :)
@BoiledPNut: Thanks! I definitely will! It's sort of "our" saying anyway- he was told 4 years ago that he wouldn't be able to join the Marines due to a "heart condition" (that ended up being a total misdiagnosis). I told him that even though it seemed like everything was crumbling around him, I wasn't going anywhere, and that I'd always be faithful- "Semper Fi" :)
from one military wife to another; congrats!!!
its gonna be a long hard super tough road but VERY rewarding as well :) you can both make it through anything. just stay strong and communicate often....as you can lol!!!
@KendallR10: and @ellabee: Thank you so much. I'll let you know if I need anything. it really means a lot that you're so willing to help me out :)
@MrsRuby: Thank you! I know that I don't fully appreciate how hard it's going to be yet, but we'll be okay. We've been through a LOT of things together and it's always made us stronger. So our relationship is basically going to be the Incredible Hulk by the time this first enlistment is done :)
@Miss Fish: congrats! my FI is in also in the military- it'll definitley make for an interesting life, but i heard that military wives have a kinship like no other :)
Awww congratulations! I'm a future army wife. My fiance is in Afghanistan right now and the past almost two years he's been enlisted have been tough, but I definitely think it makes you so much stonger as a couple. I love your fantastic attitude about it, that's definitely what you need to be able to do this : ) I wish you the best of luck and remember that all of us girls are here for you if you ever need a vent session!
@navybride4: Thank you! I hope I'll be able to make friends with some of them!
@Katew1222: Thank you so much... I'm really not looking forward to the deployments, but we'll work through them. I told him I'm gonna go do cool stuff while he's gone, like take some really time consuming unpaid internship for a nonprofit and/or volunteer overseas. He's all for it, both while he's deplyed and while we're longdistance (while I finish up school). I've been told to stay busy, so I'm going to!
And thank you for all of the future vent sessions that I will undoubtedly have... he leaves for bootcamp January 23rd. Be prepared around then :)
Welcome to the military family! DH leaves for his first deployment in January, so we can mope together. lol
Stay busy is the best advice you could follow. Keep your routine, don't let yourself dwell on him being gone and the time flies. DH and I have been LD for 2 years and it doesn't at all feel that long. The distance definitely makes the relationship stronger.
WOW! What a great score! Thank him for us for serving his country! And thank you, being a Marines wife is one of the hardest jobs on the planet.
Congratulations to you both!!!
While I'm not a military wife/fiancee, I was born and raised in a military family, and it is one of the most difficult and rewarding careers ever. As others have said, the kinship is like no other. :)
Girl, I am in the same boat (FI is currently in boot) and on the one hand you are extremely happy & proud and excited... but on the other there's all the weird thoughts and stigma about the military. but do you know what i say to that? EFF IT!!!
It is your guys' decision (and a pretty damn awesome one at that!) that he chose this career because NOT many people do. That's why they are called "The Few, The Proud. The Marines" Yep. I am so proud of my FI and negative feelings from anyone (yourself, friends, family) shouldn't get into the way of what the main goal is. Feelings and thoughts of negativity are normal, but you aren't going to let it control your life are you? No! I'm not ignorant to the bad things that can happen, but i tend not to focus on that. I'm focusing on helping and supporting my recruit so that he completes his mission (graduates July 1st! I'm so excited!) and all the experiences that you will have together.
Congratulations!!! keep the positive attitude and you will be fine. You seem to have a strong head on your shoulders and that helps because let me tell you, i felt/still feel like going insane without my boo here. <3 Congrats girl!!!
Congratulations! I am inspired by your strength to support his dream... a tough one.
@zippylef: It's really good to hear that... we'll be LD for a little over 2 years before I graduate and can move to wherever he is (and thats assuming he's not deployed when I graduate)... I've never been in a long distance relationship so I'm not totally sure how it's going to be, but I'm glad you've found ways to make it managable.
@tksjewelry: You're the first person to thank either of us, and you kinda made me cry a little. Everyone in my family keeps acting like we both have terminal illnesses, or something. Thank you for being positive, and I'll tell him you said that.
@TineTine07: Feelings and thoughts of negativity are normal, but you aren't going to let it control your life are you? No!
^ That's exactly how I feel!! And congrats to your man for going through bootcamp! You're almost done, lol.
@SnowflakeDS: You know, I always used to look at military and think "I could NEVER do that..." but when he decided to join, there was never a question of whether I would support him and be there for him. The things we do for love, I guess. I'm glad that I could inspire you though... that means a lot to me.
CONGRATS!!
Being a military wife is not the easiest lifestyle, in fact it's very hard but it's rewarding and SO WORTH IT! You'll have good days where you love it and days where you are cursing Uncle Sam but you will get through it! It is really exciting to be a military wife :)
My best advice is to work on your marriage and stay strong as a united front. Communication is so important for you both so always be open to talking about everything. The military family is a great one and you'll meet lots of other wives and my best advice with that is to stay involved and active with them because you will need them and it'll help you deal with everything that you are going to go through. That's the great thing about the military now, they don't just leave the spouses high and dry; they try really hard to provide a family of support and resources so take advantage of it.
You'll be amazed at what you can handle and how you long you can go without seeing him or talking to him and still be okay. Doesn't mean you miss him any less but you'll see that life can and will go on and you'll be fine. ALWAYS be there for him because he'll need you, especially sometimes when he feels bad that he can't be there like he wants or be the "husband" that he thinks you need. In those times, you'll draw a strength that you didn't know you had and sometimes, it'll be those moments that get you both through. Yes, deployments and field training/boot camp, etc are difficult and they suck but like you've heard, stay busy! Do something for you and draw close to family and friends.
With the hard comes the good and there are so many great things about the military. Your benefits, a family, you travel, strong sense of pride, advancing in rank and the opportunity to advance your education through college and attend different military training schools, and the formals ;) I've been with my FI for 3 years and I feel like we've been through it all. It's hard but like I've said, worth it. I am so proud of my FI and will support him all the way through for however long he's in, you just have to or it won't work. You'll love it and hate but that's just how it is :) Embrace the military and I promise, it will be so much better for you and for your marriage.
It takes a strong and devoted woman to embrace this lifestyle with her husband and it sounds like you're going to do great! Congrats to your FI and to you and if you ever need to talk, please message me!
@mrsmurraytobe: Wow, thank you so much for all of the advice! I'll actually be in Peru for the majority of the time he's in bootcamp, so I think that counts as doing something for me :) It'll be harder to miss him if I'm spending 18 hours a day becomming fluent in Spanish, haha.
The only thing I'm really concerned about is the fact that I might not be able to talk to him at all while he's at bootcamp, since I'm not sure if I'll actually have an address to send letters to... must talk to study abroad coordinator (she was in the Navy for 20 years, she'll understand!)
Good for him.. And good for you for being so supportive! I know its not easy. But yall can do it!!! congrats.
@Miss Fish: I'm not sure its totally the same since DH is USAF, but this is how the bootcamp thing worked for me. He called like the 2nd or 3rd day he was there and had to read a pre-written little message and gave me the address and his unit number. They mailed out a card with it on it too. He only gets to call one person and that person tells everyone else. During basic, he got to call like.... 3 times? Maybe. Something like that. Not often. And he only got to talk for like, 20 minutes at a time.
Ad for writing letters, DO IT. I wrote DH pretty much every day and he told me that it was one of the things that kept him going. He didnt get to write back nearly as much, but I kept on. I wrote about mundane stuff, what I did that day, any big news (swine flu broke out when he was in, so I got to tell him about that), I wrote down the lyrics to any songs or poems I might have heard that reminded me of him, I updated him on what our family and friends were up to. I told him I loved him and was proud of him in every single letter. It's the only way you can help him through basic and I know that the guys really, really appreciate it. DH said getting a letter was like getting a special treat at the end of the day.
One word of advice about them though, write him on plain white paper and send it in plain white envelopes. The drill sergeants will sometimes open letters and read the contents out loud and you don't want your letter to catch attention in any way. That was one of the things that other military wives told me when he left and DH said it was true.
@Miss Fish: "I've had a hard time dealing with this over the past week or so, but now that it's official, my fear and uncertainty are completely overshadowed by pride and love and happiness.
That's the attitude you need!
I'm really happy for you and him both!
@zippylef: That is some really good advice! I'm not going to have phone access while I'm in Peru, so I'm not going to get a chance to talk to him at all :((( But I'm going to write to him as often as I possibly can. I'll try to write down all of the things I'm experiencing on my trip- maybe that'll help him focus on something other than boot camp. I'm not sure if he'll get to write back to me at all, since I might not have an address... but it's good to know that I'll be helping him, even if he can't write back to me.
Thank you so much for the advice about the plain paper and envelopes! I have to wonder, is it even legal for them to open letters and read them like that...?
@thursdayschild: Thank you! I'm going to do my best to keep looking at the positives and focusing on the happiness.
Just realized you're going to be abroad while he's in boot camp. I was abroad when Mr. Q went through Basic (Army). I had TONS to write about in letters, but was busy enough that it cut down on the missing him element of it. Will you be back for graduation or whatever the Marines call it? I wish I'd been there for that, but on the whole, being away during all of his training was a great thing for us.
@miss.qwerty: Wow that's awesome and super coincidental! Yes, I'll be back in the country for his graduation but I won't be done with school yet... I'm probably going to intentionally schedule a blowoff class for my final 3 weeks so that I can go watch him graduate and spend time with him while he has his 10 days leave. I figure, I'm a double major with almost a 3.9 GPA. If I want to just take introduction to weightlifting 2 days a week so I can see my shiny new Marine, I'm gonna do it!
ETA: My school semesters go 12-week (normal class schedules of 3-4 classes) and then 3-week (where you only take one intensive class for a several hours a day). I'll be in Peru for my 12 week, and I can totally take introductory weightlifting or some such blowoff and have it be my only class for those last 3 weeks!
Just thought I should clarify, since my school is weird and in retrospect the above post probably made no sense to people who don't go there...
Oh, I'd do it!
I ducked out of a class presentation, lost an automatic 20% on the project to hop on a Greyhound to see graduation. I would make the same decision in a heartbeat, it was absolutely worth it to be there for Al's graduation. I would have regretted missing it for a silly 20% on a project for a class I was doing well in. Some times things in your life are more important than school!
Congrats and thank you!! I know exactly how you are feeling right now -- DH leaves in a month for basic, and I'm so incredibly proud, but also a little nervous too about dealing with everything while he's gone.
You will probably go through times where you're excited, and times where the littlest thing will make you cry about him leaving. One time, I was cleaning and thought, "soon he won't be here to clean up after... *sob sob sob*" :) And that's ok. Allow yourself to deal with those emotions as they come, because, in a sense, you do grieve a little going through the process of him leaving.
Now that it's getting closer, I'm getting more ready and excited. I still have weepy moments, but it's mostly excited! I have a LOT of things on my separation list that I want to accomplish, and I'm not allowing myself to start early so that I see him being gone as a time to accomplish and do things for ME. It sounds like you've got some awesome plans yourself too -- PERU??? Jealous...
Good luck!!!
@thursdayschild: You're totally right. I get really caught up in grades sometimes, but you know what? In the end I'll have my degree no matter what I got on one stupid project in my sophomore year. I would regret it forever if I missed that!! I'm going. It's official. Not letting something stupid get in the way of seeing him graduate.
@piglet_625: It's nice to know that other people are in the same boat as I am! I'm going to come up with a to-do list too!!! Peru is just the beginning! I've got some other places I want to go and skills I want to learn.... I should start a bucket list of sorts, I think...
My DH is retired Army MSG. Being a military wife is not easy. It's probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. It does, however, give you a new and greater appreciation of exactly how much our military and their families sacrifice for our country. I know it did for me. Tell your fiance thank you...and I want to thank you also.
There are perks... Once you're married, you'll be able to shop at the PX! When he gets his military ID, ask him to get a catalog for you!!! LOL!
Congratulations and thank you to you and Mr. Fish for both of your sacrifices! There is some amazing information on here, and that's absolutely wonderful to have such a support system from many different people.
My FI comes from a military family and he is taking the plunge to join the military (ARMY). I absolutely support him 100% and he is very serious and sincere about it, but he's kinda, er, slacking on getting done what he needs to get done. If that makes sense? One week he's gung-ho and we're studying for the asvab like crazy and working out, and the next week it's like he loses all inspiration and just doesn't want to talk about? I try not to weigh too heavily on him with my thoughts and I definitely don't want to push him in the wrong direction, but this is killing me -- the back and forth-ness. It's always "I'm going to join the military", it's just I can't get a time frame -- so it's very frustrating for me. He has said that he wants us to be married before he joins/leaves, but he won't even go speak with a recruiter again or take the practice asvab or anything until we're married. I tried to explain to him, based on what I've heard and read that it's unlikely he would be shipped away immediately, and we WOULD be married before he leaves for bootcamp, but he's just a procrastinator I guess?
Anywho, sorry for my rain on your parade!
Congratulations to you both for following your dreams! :)
@Miss Fish:The PX is a military only store (on base) where you can buy stuff without tax/cheaper. :)
The commisary= groceries, the exchange=department store style shopping.
@Summy00: I know what you mean about things being up in the air- I felt so much better when his decision was finally MADE! It's hard to schedule your life around "maybes." Just know what whatever he chooses, it's a hard decision and you're awesome for supporting him.
@ellabee: That sounds awesome!! I actually went to one of those at Camp Lejune last summer. Obviously I couldn't buy anything but the place was awesome!! Stuff to look forward to... lol!
It's funny this was posted, last night I was looking over some old emails between my husband and I during his commissioning process (1.5 year period). They made me smile. Military life is not what I expected- but it's good :) Congrats and goodluck!
ETA:
I saw you were in school- I just found out about a great resource for military wives. Once he's out of bootcamp you can apply to MyCAA and get a little money for school (I think it's 4-5k/year).
@maureen9004: Really?! That's amazing!! That would really help reduce the amount of loans I have to take out.
Side note: 1000th post!!
Yay! The Marines - the infantry of the sea... congrats to you and him :)
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