Post # 1
since I got engaged and I have already got critcism and lecturing from EVERYONE, except for basically my whole immediate family. Everyone who sees me says the same thing, “let me see the ring, it’s beautiful, have you picked a date yet” I tell everyone we are thinking Spring of 2014 and everyone has something to say about it. FMIL and FBIL decided to give FI and I a lecture on how we shouldn’t get married before we graduate (We are 24 and have been in college for 6 years, long story short he failed out and I couldn’t afford it anymore so we moved to his town together and have been attending other schools part-time and working full-time jobs). I don’t want to wait till I graduate I have been with him for 6 years and since we are only attending school part time I will not be done till 2015 and he wont be done till right before I plan on having the wedding. I don’t really care, it’s not going to change my decision on when to have a wedding. We both have plenty of money to pay for it and my parents are chipping in. It’s just frustrating that I have been engaged for 2 days and instead of being happy for us all we have gotten is lectures and bad reactions to our time frame. I guess this is just something I am going to have to get used to though. Please tell me I am not alone!
Post # 3
@thefuturemrsD: You aren’t. People think they are ‘helping’ you when they tell you. I would just learn how to say “mmmhmm” and tune them out. Plan the wedding you want and if they give you flack say nicely but firmly: this is the date we’ve decided on. Repeat ad nasueam.
It may get worse as you plan….but learn the art of turning your phone off hahahaha.
Post # 4
First of all, CONGRATS!!
People will make you crazy sometimes. Within two days of getting engaged, I had TWO different people (not my best friend or a close family member) ask what our wedding budgets was. Really?! They are both married and I would never have dreamed of asking them that.
Try your best to just bask in the initial engagement bliss as much as possible and avoid too many discussions about details – plenty of people have opinions one way or another! You can milk vague statements like, “we have some ideas but we’re still deciding about that” for a long time.
I tried my best to remember that people were excited for us and just want to be involved in the conversation. It just works to your benefit if you can direct the conversation if possible! People love to talk about cake, and it is a pretty unemotional topic that I can stand my ground on, so that is one of my go-tos.
Post # 5
You are so not alone, the day after I got engaged my grandfather told me to have a court house wedding because there is not point in waisting money on something that won’t work out in the end. So just think at least they are only against your timeline and not your actual marriage 🙂 Just hold firm and keep repeating “Thank you for your concern but this our life so it is our decision. We have chosen something that works for us and nothing else matters because this is about our new life as a couple.” Good luck and I am sure you will have a beautiful 2014 wedding. Feel free to pm if you need to talk 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
The proper response is to smile, say “that’s nice” and change the subject while continuing to plan your wedding on the terms you and your FH have agreed upon. You will quickly learn that everyone has an opinion on your wedding and whether it’s nice or not they think that you need to hear it. It gets easier to tune out as time goes on but tuning out is way easier than arguing with them.
Post # 7
..you know, when you get engaged and your on that cloud of magical marriage dreaminess, something always has to come along and knock you off it so you come crashing back down to Earth, I’ve seen it a hundred times and it sucks…sorry babe, just look at that ring and you’ll be back on your cloud, let the meanies banter, your engaged!
Post # 8
Congrats!!! Just ignore everyone trying to ruin your magic. 🙂