Post # 1
I somehow begin to question my sanity throughout this wedding process. I’ve become doubtful that I may sane on my wedding day. The stress already is killing me!!!
My FI and I got engaged in July and we have so much checked off our list of things to do for our wedding in August 2011. Since we are paying for our entire wedding ourselves, I am finding it hard to take the criticism of others. I can barely begin to fathom why people think it is okay to tell a bride that HER choices, for HER wedding…are wrong!
Now while my FI and I are paying for the wedding, I believe it should be our choice as to who we invite. We have established our guest list with some room for growth (but not much room). Both of our parents, have come to us asking for “so and so” and “friend of the family” to be invited. We said “no.” Both sets of parents asked again, now stating, “We’ll pay for them if you invite them.” I find this to be ridiculous. Is anyone there with me on this?
I am totally frustrated with bridesmaids. I find that they may be a driving force as to why Bridezillas exist. My sisters are the biggest culprits too!!! Complaints about dresses, the cost of things, etc… I even have a bridesmaid telling others that she may need a second job for this wedding!! When I asked these people to stand behind me and support me on this important day in my life, I assumed that they knew there were going to be expenses throughout the process. Mind you that I feel that the cost of items are reasonable, so here’s the prices so far…(warning- this may cause you to fall off your chair) Dress from David’s Bridal at $145 plus tax! That’s it!!! There were complaints of tailoring fees too but come on!!! I think this is a reasonable amount to spend on a bridesmaid dress. Please someone tell me if I’m crazy!!
To all you girls who have made it through the planning process, please tell me that it gets easier…
Post # 3
I feel for you! And I hate to tell you, but it never got easier for me. My mom was the biggest cause of my stress, and thank goodness I had some very wonderful friends and my awesome husband to talk me off the ledge!
I think $145 + tax and alterations is a very reasonable price for a bridesmaid dress. If they can’t accommodate that or need a second job in order to be able to afford that, then maybe they need to step down. Try your hardest not to let these things get to you. It will get worse, and if you have your honeymoon directly after the wedding, you’re going to find yourself very excited to have the wedding over and be on your honeymoon! I know I was!!
Post # 4
TO be honest I hate it when brides say “the only have to buy a $150 dress!” because for me, and many other people, $150 is a big deal. And considering the fact that they also have to buy you a gift, pay for tailoring, possibly hair and make-up too, shoes, possibly jewelry, and the bridal shower and the bachelorette party… us brides don’t really take into account HOW MUCH money our girls will have to spend in the end. I had to take a step back and realize that I couldn’t ask my girls to spend $150 on a dress they were going to wear once. I had to change it to a shorter much less expensive dress they could, and would, wear again. I made sure they were a part od the process because in the end I would prefer happy bridesmaids and friends standing behind me in dresses I didn’t origionally want than girls standing behind me secretly hoping I trip on my veil but in the dresses I really loved. And when it comes to iniviting people you don’t want to the wedding I have the view of “the more people that want to share this day with me the better”. I am looking forward to as many people as possibly staring at me and my new husband in my pretty (and expensive) dress! I do understand, however, putting a limit on the number of extra people to be invited. You don’t want a room full of people you don’t know at your wedding but 10 people you don’t know well or aren’t terribly important to you wanting to share your special day with you wont make a huge difference in the end (plus you get more money and gifts that way) Keep in mind this is just my opinion.
Post # 5
I would say that under $200 for a bridesmaid dress is normal, unfortunately for your bridesmaids! But it’s October, and they have time to save, even if it’s just $20 per week or so! When I have been in weddings, it’s with the understanding that it’s going to cost me money to participate.
I think if you were being unreasonable about what your expectations are for the shower/bachelorette, then yes, as a bridesmaid, it might be overwhelming, but for those, the cost is split among all of the maids! And it should be up to THEM what it costs, since they’re the ones hosting the parties!
It’s very frustrating as a bride, I had a bridesmaid back out saying she couldn’t afford it, and the girls’ dresses were $85. And I gave them over a year’s notice. Hang in there, I wish I could say it gets better, but unfortunately, it may not!
Post # 6
I think when you agree to be in a wedding, you accept some cost. Unless something has changed, you shouldnt accept to be a bridesmaid and then complain that you will need a second job to pay for $145 dress. If $145 makes the difference between paying your bills or not then you should have discussed the concern with the bride before making the commitment.
That being said, don’t let it drive you nuts. People will always make comments and you just have to try to spend more time with the ones that dont!