It's over.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Im so so sorry. Better to cancel a wedding than divorce though, for sure.

Take your time through the grieving process, and one day when youre all healed and you meet your husband you will be so glad you didnt marry that turd.

MoonlitMagnolia:  

Post # 3
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

Hi sweetie, I am so, so sorry. I don’t have any advice, but I hope you have friends/family you can talk to in person, and of course the board is always here for you to vent. Take care of yourself. 

Post # 4
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

MoonlitMagnolia:  What exactly is the “lifestyle he wants to lead” that you’re keeping him from?? 

Ugh, I’m sorry doll.  “What doesn’t kill you…” blah, blah, blah but seriously he’s doing you a favor and the day you realize that will be GLORIOUS!  It’s just the here and now that sucks. 

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

MoonlitMagnolia:  Wow that must be so heartbreaking. I’m sorry 🙁

Better for him to have told you now though instead of stringing it along into marriage and eventually divorce.

Surround yourself with people who love you (mom, siblings, friends) and live the life YOU want to lead!

Post # 6
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry this happened to you. 🙁 Surround yourself with people you love and trust during that process. I know it’s not easy, take it one day at a time. Hopefully, one day soon, you’ll look back and realize it was a blessing in disguise. Sending you love and strength !

Post # 7
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

 

MoonlitMagnolia:  Some years back my ex husband woke up one day and informed me he didn’t love me and didn’t want to be with me. I can still remember that feeling of my heart falling out of my butt and feeling like I just couldn’t breathe. We ended up back together a few years later and eventually married. The same issues that we had years ago when he told me that are eventually what caused us to divorce. We are lucky and we divorced on great terms, but the point is that no matter how much it hurts, a man who does this kind of thing isn’t the right one for you. I know it sounds like useless words right now and unfortunately nothing any of us can say will take away that hurt you are feeling right now. Time will be your enemy and your best friend. Your enemy because it will feel so slow at times, and all of the “firsts” without him will take your breath away all over again and be a reminder of what you are missing. It will be your best friend as well because as it passes (and it always does) you will find yourself to be more and more whole with each passing day. One day you will look back and have no idea how you got through it, but the point is that you WILL absolutely get through it. I can promise you that.

Focus on yourself. Cry when you need to. Scream when you need to. Stay silent when you need to. Pray, think, feel, and let it all happen as it may. There is no shame in any of that. There is no shame in asking for help either.  Lean on those that you love and that love you back. Seek counseling from a doctor or a religious figure if thats what helps. Make it a goal to come out of this whole, and as the best possible version of yourself.

I’m sure I speak for many of the Bees her when I say we are all in your corner and are here if you need to vent or just need some encouraging words.

I’ll be praying that you find the strength within yourself to make hard decisions and to always keep yourself first during this difficult time. many hugs and positive thoughts…

Post # 8
Member
3896 posts
Honey bee

MoonlitMagnolia:  Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear this, how utterly heartbreaking for you.

Did you go into detail about exactly how you are holding him back from leading the lifestyle he wants? Like you said, he should have figured out these things before asking you to marry him.

I hope things work out for you. Be strong. Surround yourself with loved ones right now, go out with friends, go to dinner, movies, just be arround your friends and family. Big hugs xxx

Post # 9
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

stardustintheeyes:  +1

OP I am SO sorry you’re going through this. I went through something similiar but my ex didn’t have the balls to say it to my face so I got home from work one day to discover he had moved out–like completely outta the blue, everything of his gone even though we had half of the wedding booked and paid for! Worst gut wrenching, sobbing till my eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears, mindf*ck of all time. I couldn’t understand why he would have even proposed in the first place! He doesn’t deserve you and you WILL find someone better trust me. I met my fiance two years later and let me tell you something–the day when I had an epiphany because I knew I had truly found the one everything just kind of clicked and I felt a sense of relief because no matter how shitty it was to go through, everything happens for a reason and I truly understood it for the first time. Take it one day at a time, keep yourself busy and pamper the hell outta yourself because you deserve it. Hugs!!!

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

MoonlitMagnolia:  What a d*ck.  At least he told you this now before the wedding and wasting more years with a selfish douche.  This happened to me but I was already married at the time.  Let me tell you a broken engagement is way easier to deal with than a divorce.

Post # 11
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am so so so sorry you are going through this. xoxo. I am sending you virtual hugs!!

Post # 12
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Be prepared for him to realize what a huge mistake he’s making and want you back. Happens every time. Then you can tell him to kiss your ass!

Post # 13
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That’s horrible, I’m so sorry!

Post # 14
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am so, so sorry you have to go through this.  Let yourself be sad and grieve, try to get the closure you need.  Ultimately, it’s better he told you now rather than marrying you and getting a divorce later. I think sometimes people don’t realize how serious marriage is until it becomes real (i.e. getting engaged), and then all the small things they thought they could handle become more important.  It’s still horrible, but now you are free to find the one you’re truly meant to be with.<br />

Post # 15
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

MoonlitMagnolia:  My heart goes out to you right now. 

Were you guys having issues since the engagement? Or did this all feel out of the blue? If so, this may be his poor excuse for a cop out to the pressure of getting married.

In any case, you did not deserve this. What a douche – at least you wont have to spend the rest pf your life with someone so inconsiderate. I hope he realizes what he is giving up – but i also hope you will be strong enough to laugh and walk away. 

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