it's really annoying,

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Member
6949 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@nikix:  +1, lol maybe the only one you get, but I’ll get yelled at with ya ;)

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@nikix:  meh, i see your point but I told my SO that there are certain things I wont do unless were married. Also, I didn’t date guys who weren’t open to marriage as a possibility.

Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

@nikix:  I absolutely agree. I don’t understand how so many women are so focused on getting engaged and married at a specific time, that if they don’t receive a proposal by a certain date, they are willing to end the relationship.

A relationship is about give and take, just because you have a set timeline in your mind, doesn’t mean the other person is going to feel the exact same way. I don’t understand that if this person means so much that you want to spend your life together, but don’t have a ring on your finger, you are willing to give it all up. 

Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee

To me it’s not the piece of paper that is ‘important’. I agree being husband and wife will not change our relationship – we will still live together, share finances, go about our daily routines as per normal – but being married, is a commitment that we give each other.

For some people it will change their relationship – especially if they didn’t live together before getting married, or didn’t have sex before marriage.

Being married is more then being ‘girlfriend and boyfriend’, it’s commiting to being together forever legally – we’re recognised as one and not seperate.

You don’t have to get married, but if you want to, I don’t see why you should have to give it up.

Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

@subtlebee:  +1

The big thing for me was that I want to have kids, and I’m not willing to have kids before I’m married. Maybe that’s dumb, maybe that’s old-fashioned, and I completely understand that being married before having kids will not make things any easier or more concrete. I personally just felt like marriage was the step to take before kids were even an option. 

I think that’s why some people get too antsy and bail. It is unfortunate, but it happens.

Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee

@nikix:  If its hopeless and marriage is a dealbreaker I see nothing wrong ith it. Love isn’t enough to make a lifelong relationship work. You have to care enough about the other to compromise.

Member
263 posts
Helper bee

For me, there being no possibility of marriage is a deal breaker. Why would I sacrifice something that is important to me for my partner if my partner is unwilling to do the same for me?  However, “it needs to be now or I’m walking” is a different story. 

Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper

@nikix:  +1.

When I entered into a relationship with my husband, it was for forever. I wanted to get married, and it was something I have always wanted, but it was not a dealbreaker. I was going to be with my husband, whom I love more than the blood in my veins or the breath in my lungs. I cannot be without him, and whether or not he wanted to marry me was not a good enough reason to leave him.

Member
278 posts
Helper bee

I understand what you are saying, but not all marriages end in divorce

In America, the divorce rate for a first marriage is around 41%. The divorce rate for a second marriage is 60%. The divorce rate for a third marriage is 73%

But if the couple doesn’t have premarital sex, they are 60% less likely to get divorced.

Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee

@nikix:  “Yeah, but marriage is no longer forever. 

Most of the time anyways

Perhaps in your eyes, but in mine and many others who get married, marriage is forever.

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