Post # 1
Gosh Bees, what can I say. I broke up with him last week. It’s been a week of No Contact now. He kept saying he wanted to get married but the way he was procrastinating and some other things about his attitude just turned me off. IMHO we should have been a lot farther relationship wise in 17 months. We just weren’t and I came to realize that if just being a little close to that long engagement was WAY OFF.
So ya it’s the second time but it’s final this time, I know it is. Even if he asked me now I would say no and I don’t want it anymore.
I’m doing alright but anxious for the rest of you. At least most of you sound like you have great fellas and they are just waiting for the right moment to propose…good luck and I’ll keep following even though I’m not waiting anymore…….
Post # 3
@VikingPrincess: Sorry to hear that, stay strong and chin up. I admire your determination to stand up for what you believe in.
Post # 4
Oh goodness! I’m so sorry you’re going through such a crappy time right now. Very proud of how you are handling it! Glad you’re gonna stick around! Hope you have a great week!
Post # 5
Hey, if he doesn’t want to get married and you do want to get married, then I think you did the right thing.
I had the same problem with my last boyfriend (and I really loved him a lot.) I went back with him because he said that he would marry me. Then he changed his mind again. I broke up with him AGAIN and now found my fiance. Are things perfect? No, but they are a million times better than when I was worried about my ex. I am much more at peace now.
Post # 6
@VikingPrincess: I’m so sorry!!!
Good for you for being strong and standing up for yourself. You sound like you’re handling it very well.
It’s really more positive to move on if it’s not the right match, even if it’s painful at first.
Take extra good care of yourself right now.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies for the kind words. I’m doing a-okay. I had a revelation that I wanted him to propose because I wanted emotional security from him most of all and that just wasn’t a good reason to get married. I realized too that I need to give that to myself but that a good partner just enhances that feeling.
Diamond dust to the rest of you!
Post # 8
I’m not one to judge what’s a good reason to get married or not. Have you read “A Gift from the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh? I highly recommend it. She really talks about self-care from a woman’s perspective. It’s old-school, written over 50 years ago. But still so appicable to women today. She says that a woman must come of age/come into herself (or something like that, I’m butchering it) *alone*. And that somehow we have to re-learn this every 20 years or so of a woman’s life. She speaks about the importance of solitude, and what we really need for our souls. I read it at least once a year and I get different things out of it each time I read it.
Just a suggestion on how to “give to yourself”….take a day at the beach and read it. it’s a short, easy book.
Post # 9
Oh, I am so sorry for your hurt right now. I have been reading your waiting posts and hoping for you, but I am so very proud of you for knowing when it is time to move on. There are so many sad situations where one partner waits around for change that never arrives. Good job, and I am glad you’re sticking around. I have to say though, when you are ready, please consider eharmony, that’s where I found my man, and he fits me and my life better than I had ever thought possible. Hang in there girl, you are brave, strong, and definitely no alone. We’re here for you.
Post # 10
I’m so surprised! Last I heard he was getting excited to go ring shopping with you! But, given your last statement, I think that’s wise of you to consider those underlying feelings related to why you want to be engaged. Did he change his tune about marriage recently though (since a week or two ago he wanted to do the ring thing)? Did you find that he really isn’t on the same page as you after all? Well regardless, if you feel he isn’t the right person for you, then that’s that I guess. I think it’s great that you are a strong enough woman to know that it’s unwise to waste time waiting around for a guy to act on a promise. I hope there will be many girls who learn from you.
We really love having you here Viking!! I hope you do stick around as much as you feel comfortable doing so. <3
Post # 11
You seem to be in a really good place, and, although I don’t know the extent of your tale, I applaud you for that. My advice is simple: take each day as it comes. Some days are good and some are bad, but it takes a lot of courage to realize you’re wasting your time in the relationship you’re in and do something about it, but that doesn’t mean the courageous don’t get lonely. So, we as a collective, and I, as an individual offer you a shoulder through the tough times.
Post # 12
Aww. I admire your strength. I’m guessing you knew what you wanted and did whats best for you, and not everyone have that strength.
My advice to you is keep strong, and somewhere waiting is that wonderful man, who’s just right and ordained for you. Please don’t ever lose faith in that.
Hugs. Take good care of yourself.
Post # 13
Awww honey, I’m so sorry for you. Just keep your head up and know that when the time is right the right man will come along and sweep you off your feet. Good luck!
Post # 14
I’m sorry you are hurting over this, but I am glad you figured it all out and did what is best for you! Wishing you luck and much happiness as you move on 🙂
Post # 15
So sorry to hear you are going through this, but glad that you have made peace with your decision and feel good about it. Hugs.
Post # 16
I’m sorry you have to go through this and I applaud your strength in coming to your decision. Sometimes, when you know, you know.