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Other than the legal part, there is nothing required in a wedding. Do it your way and enjoy yourself!
"Um, what? This is our wedding day. Just because it's not frilly doesn't mean it's not the right choice for us, or that it doesn't "count" for some odd reason.
It really is more about the marriage than the wedding to me, but I also want the day to feel special. I think I can blame the wedding industry for this one--the whole mentality that you need to have x, y, and z for a wedding has gotten to me a little bit, even though I think that idea is total crap, and now I'm stressing over something dumb like this"
I don't think you need reassurance dude...You pretty much have said anything I or anyone else would tell you. Go with your gut. Trust in your decisions! You know that this is right for you guys, so trust in that!
It burns me up to hear about people saying these kinds of things to a bride. Ugh. Just because that's not what someone else would want does NOT mean it is not a "real" wedding!
You chose what you chose because it felt right to you, right? So you've already decided what will make the day special for you. Allow yourself to enjoy without worrying about silly people's opinions, and do not let anyone else's "expectations" sway you. That's THEIR problem, not yours!
I know, haha...I just have this weird back-and-forth where I want it to be low-key but still special, but then I worry. I'm trying not to build it up too much so I don't have the big letdown I see some brides having when the day doesn't go exactly as planned; at the same time, I have no idea what to expect in terms of emotions, etc. because I've obviously never done this before. I am so silly.
My cousin had a courthouse wedding with just her immediate family present. She had planned on having a "real wedding" later, but never did because she realized that her day at the courthouse was the only real and special wedding she truly wanted and needed.
Everyone has their own perception of what constitutes a "real wedding." I had lots of people pass judgment on me because of some decisions I made, but I chalked it all up to them being close-minded. Believe me, your wedding is going to feel like a wedding, and having a reception next-day is NOT going to detract from it at all. I actually think it's kind of romantic that you two will get to spend one night as husband and wife before the actual party...
Your wedding would feel special even if you hired someone to marry you wearing bathrobes in your apartment. You'll be that happy.
@JennyW1: Hah! Thanks for that image--love it. :)
@jenbrandner: I am glad that we decided to do it this way, though his stepmom made a bit of a scene about the reception being the next-day (until we set her straight by telling her we can't have the reception on our wedding day--my family wouldn't be able to come since it's a Friday). We're coming back to our little apartment on the actual wedding night, but the hotel the next night is just something else to look forward to!
A wedding doesn't mean big fancy event. It means a life long commitment to your partner. It will definetly feel like a wedding!
People just don't understand that others might have different tastes, styles, and opinions and just b/c they would want a big wedding, that doesn't mean you do.
Girl, you could get married in jeans in your yard....and it would still be your wedding. From everything I've read about your planning and gorgeous dress, your wedding and receptionis going to be amazing and lovely. Non tradition can be a beautiful thing to be cherished.
As a side note......I'm a nurse and one of my patients (outpatient clinic) was getting married. His future wife had her dress, venue, everything. The day before the wedding he was called in for a kidney transplant. They already had the marriage license. One of the groom's uncles was a reverend. They called him and he quickly came to the house and married them in the yard, in jeans, no make up.....etc....just before he went to the hospital for his transplant. Their intent was to renew their vows and have their wedding when he was fully recovered. But, they didn't.....they were already married and with his new kidney they had all they needed.
You are going to have a wonderful and spectacular time.......enjoy every second and soak it all in. Don't let anybody bring you down......people can be so cruel and thoughtless.........
@artbee: Yeah, that's very true. Deciding to do it this way instead of our original plan has cut back on a lot of the stress, but there have been some people being downright nasty about it, too. One girl, who isn't even my FB friend but found out through my frenemy, suggested that it was a shotgun wedding; frenemy said I was just doing it to upstage her. Whatever, right? Everyone has an opinion--that's one thing I've learned from planning a wedding.
@Maggie Mae: That's a wonderful story; thank you for sharing it with me! I guess it's the shock of having switched so suddenly from a fairly large wedding to a small, intimate one that's got me reeling a little bit, but I'm glad we're back on track with what really matters: us, our families, and our marriage.
@Statutory Grape: You only need four things for a "real" wedding - you, your groom, an officiant and a license - everything else is just fluff. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice - its lovely! And no, it won't feel just like another day - you'll be marrying the man you love and that alone makes it wonderful and unique! Good luck and don't let shallow people rain on your day!
Both my brother and sister had brunch wedding receptions--no DJ/band, my sister's reception was dry. Both were beautiful and enjoyable affairs and everyone had the rest of their weekend free. Yes, they had ceremonies beforehand but really, what is the difference between a reception and a regular party? One of the attendees is wearing a big white dress? How many people don't come to the ceremony anyway? Once your guests are there, it will still feel like a wedding. No worries!
With all of the posts you have made about your pending nuptials, it's surprising you would even be asking this. You are putting as much work and effort into this as any bride out there. If it's what you love and are 100% proud of, then it is 100% going to feel like your wedding day. :D Chin up! It's going to be absolutely wonderful, you will look incredible and get to have lots of awesome presents. PLUS! You get to celebrate twice! (If you don't get the feel exactly right, you can still get some elements in at the second reception/party/shindig!)
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I just need some reassurance that our little courthouse wedding and casual, next-day reception are going to feel like a wedding. I don't have cold feet and am not thinking of backing out at all; I've never really wanted a big wedding, but I've heard from a few people that it won't feel like our wedding day, that I'll regret it...and then, the dreaded, "You can have a REAL wedding in a few years, if you want!"
Um, what? This is our wedding day. Just because it's not frilly doesn't mean it's not the right choice for us, or that it doesn't "count" for some odd reason.
I guess I'm just a little worried that it'll feel like just another day and I'll have this gigantic let-down. It really is more about the marriage than the wedding to me, but I also want the day to feel special. I think I can blame the wedding industry for this one--the whole mentality that you need to have x, y, and z for a wedding has gotten to me a little bit, even though I think that idea is total crap, and now I'm stressing over something dumb like this.
That being said, I'm excited about the special little details we've already set up: the beautiful sari-wrapped card box FH made for us, the nice hotel we booked for our reception night, finally seeing my dress (for the reception).
But I still need that little push! Please tell me--especially if you got married in a courthouse--did it still feel special? I think it will, but I'm just a little nervous.