Post # 1
How many times during your planning has a friend or family member gave you an “opinion” or tried to sway you or make you feel guilty or straight out told you what to do, then quickly followed up with, but it’s your wedding. You should do whatever makes you and FI happy.
GRRRRRRRRRR… it’s making me want to elope!!!!!
Post # 3
@NYCowgirl: ahaha yeah, this is the ultimate annoying passive-aggressive manipulation.
Post # 4
That statement is getting old. I feel for ya.
Post # 5
@lanalnoco: It’s driving me nuts!
Post # 6
Whenever someone says that to me I always want to say, “well if it was really my wedding we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation..”
Elopement starts to sound pretty nice : )
Post # 8
@ellyse: hahaha yes
I keep hearing ‘its your wedding’ followed with ‘but I really like xyandz’
Post # 9
I wanted to elope, but the family would not have let me get away with that, which is annoying.
I didn’t discuss any aspect of my wedding with anybody.
Post # 10
FMIL is planning and financing 90% of our wedding. She tried the “It’s your wedding” once and FH was like, “No, not really. It’s your wedding.” I wanted to elope, she wanted a wedding, so she’s planning it with little to no input from me.
Post # 11
@strawbs: How did you avoid discussing it with anyone? Even close family in the wedding party?
Post # 12
When people say “its your wedding” as a passive agressive comment to me, I usually follow it up with “you’re right, it is my wedding, I’ll do as I please” – it usually shuts them up.
Post # 13
@NYCowgirl: the groomsmen didn’t care about the details, and my bridesmaids’ only concern was the dress color I wanted. both sets of parents were respectful of the fact that DH and I were paying for it ourselves, so basically nobody got any input whatsoever because I didn’t ask for any opinions nor discussed any of it.
Post # 14
@AmyFarrahFowler: First, I love your name. 🙂 Second, I hope I can say something like that the next time I’m challenged with this. I’m trying to keep the peace, but the frustration is building.
@strawbs: I think I’m getting to the point of not bringing it up to anyone and if they ask, changing the subject.
Eloping sounds nice right now… I should have listened to FI in the first place!
side note: What’s the difference between FI and FH on this board? I hope I’m not using the wrong thing!
Post # 15
@NYCowgirl: Brides are delicate creatures and I avoid them when I can because before you even know what happened, you have stepped on some delicate toes without even meaning to…whenever one asks my opinion I’ll actually reply with a question instead of answering and usually that works pretty well, because it’s not even important, what I think….as long as she’s happy we’re all going to win….on the rare occasion that a bride gets wise to my tricks and corners me on something I will avoid making a declarative statement at all costs…because there is no right answer, and that’s what no one gets.
In my past experience, and I’m not implying you are even remotely this extreme that this is what happens:
If I agree with her, then I’m just giving her lip service…I don’t care…I’m lying
If I tell her what I think I’ll be treated to a snarky lecture about why I’m wrong and this thing is awesome OR I don’t understand, I’m wrong about her “vision”….
Either way, there is no winning in this scenario…only varying degrees of loss….so its my understanding that, “It’s your wedding.” is actually code for, “PLEASE DON’T STAB ME!!! I WANT WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!”
Post # 16
Yup, I’m over this saying already. Thankfully, we haven’t heard it much now that we’re kind of in that lull between booking all the important things and really planning details.