Post # 1
I’m already fed up of hearing that line, ‘it’s your day, you have to do what you want to do’, which is always closely followed by, ‘as long as you do x’.
I’ve been told we have to invite all our extended family – his family is about ten people. My fully extended includes about twenty-odd people I haven’t seen in years and have never been close to. I don’t see the point of inviting them as honestly I only know half of them by name.
Also, we’re considering having a reception at our favourite restaurant, which has a cocktail bar and club-style dancefloor on one level. You can bet people will say it’s not appropriate for their kids and we should have had a more child-friendly wedding; there are some people I know who are very precious about their kids, and will be mortally offended at something they deem unsuitable.
On the other hand, if we DON’T invite kids, FI’s family would probably be okay with a night off. My family, on the other hand, has ONE child. If I didn’t invite this child, I can guarantee a whole group of people would boycott my wedding, or show up and complain, OR bring them anyway as a protest. It’s not worth the trouble it would cause – I could even get disowned for it by these people if I pushed too far.
My Mother has even suggested I take a couple of people and leave the country to get married if I don’t want to deal with the fuss – but I don’t want that either!
Basically, I’m just ranting. Is anyone else fed up of being told to plan YOUR wedding the way YOU want – and then being told you HAVE to do certain things that affect your ability to do what you want?!
Post # 3
I didn’t invite my dad’s side of the family to the wedding because we have NEVER been close and they are all judgemental and rude and stuck up. Who wants people like that at their wedding? They will come and eat your food and drink up all your booze and bring all 20 (seriously they have ALOT of adopted AND foster kids) of their kids (whether you invited the kids or not!) and NOT even bother to bring a gift or card. Oh and BTW my dad has 14 BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!! So factor in that, their spouses, their kids and the guest list is WAY over my 100 guest list limit.
My mother and her side of the fam suggested a DW. I was on board with this because we had the accomodations covered for up to 50 guests if we were doing it in las vegas. Hubby wanted his fam to be able to come and he said they (along with Best Man and MOH) wouldnt be able to make it if it was there. (SIGH)
I invited some kids but not all. My restrictions were kids in the WP and WP’s kids, nieces an nephews and OOT fam’s kids. That’s it and that was only 20 kids.
Post # 4
@lindseyl06: 20 kids sounds like a whole lot to handle… our entire wedding will probably be no more than 60 people! 🙂
Post # 5
@ZebraPrintMe: Well that was what was on the guest list. All the kids did not show. We probably ended up having 10 kids and they were all older (10 and up) except our kids.
Post # 6
@ZebraPrintMe: I totally get where you’re coming from. From being told where to get married to who to invite I’m ready to say screw it and go to the courthouse.
Post # 7
@ZebraPrintMe: THIS! I’m so lucky my sister/MOH has helped me find ways to not deal with that mess! A lot of times, I will try to think about it as though we’re not discussing my wedding. Imagine: “I heard Jennifer Aniston is getting married. She should do X at her wedding.” Personally, I don’t care what she does so I can nod and talk about how, yes, it would be a great idea for ‘her’ to invite all of her highschool teachers. And then I go on with my planning for my wedding. Much less stressful, and the person offering their advice can drop it and move on!
Yes, Jen’s wedding should be more child-friendly, good idea! (*books restaurant bar/club anyway*)